'Nice'
Erotica... after having been referred to as 'a dirty horrid boy' and a 'sick puppy' (although these make me immensely proud) I gave 'nice' pron a go.

Erm, it is a bit long though. I don't seem to be able to be nice in 500 words. Twisted yes, nice, no.
(Zapiola zip-zap-zop, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 20:11, 8 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Doobie doobie dah dah
Margoyle reached the top of the hill and gazed over the stunning vista presented to him. The rolling hills stretched away as far as the eye could see, undulating and green like a rucked up carpet. He felt happy, he had achieved something. He set his knapsack down on a rock and waited for Jenny to catch up. He could see her a hundred feet away, panting and sweating, the soft sound of her swearing drifting up to him on the lazy summer breeze. This, he decided, was the life. Not sitting in an office kowtowing to morons, not encased in a metal box travelling to and from work, not even the snatched peace of the city park. The clean country air seemed to reinvigorate his lungs as he took in great draughts of it. He positively drank the air up, becoming giddy on its none-metallic taste, its sense of wildness from having been blown in from the distant sea. He breathed deeply until lights began to flash in front of his eyes, and he heard a satisfied grunt as Jenny plumped herself down next to him in a mass of bags, hair, and sweat.

He sat next to her and she laid her head upon his shoulder. Gently he stroked her hair, nuzzling his face into it and kissing her scalp. The other hand cheekily cupped her breast and she gave a squeal of mock outrage, pretending to beat him away. He felt his heart lurch and he tried to kiss her, but she moved her head at the last moment and he had to pull back. They sat for a while, admiring the view, sharing a joint in the early evening haze.

Margoyle decided it was time to set up camp. He insisted they head down the hill for a few hundred yards to a flatish clearing in a wood they had passed through earlier. The tent presented a slight problem, but eventually as darkness fell they had it erected, and broke out the small paraffin cooker from Jenny’s knapsack. They cooked some beans in a tin and ate semi-naked, lying half in, half out, of the tent. The moon and stars shone brightly above, and Margoyle noticed that the light bathed Jenny’s naked breasts with a subtle shade that complimented the firm plumpness of her form. He stroked her naked back with the tips of his fingers, and felt her skin turn to goosebumps beneath his touch. She turned on her side and kissed him languidly, her hair falling over her breasts, her tongue entwined with his, with fire in their mouths and lust in their hearts. He cupped her chin in his hand and stared into her eyes, his other hand slowing unzipping her jeans as she smouldered back at him. She shrugged her jeans free, and pushed him back into the tent as he felt he was about to burst through his own trousers. She forced him down and removed her panties, kneeling above him with a smile playing on her lips. He could barely stand it anymore as she massaged the fabric holding back his bulging groin. She kissed him again, long and deep, as she slid her hand down the front of his pants and took a firm grip on his penis. He could stand it no longer and scrambled to take his trousers off, almost panicking in his attempt to pull them down. Jenny restrained him, and slowly pulled his trousers and pants down, all the time looking him in the eyes.

She enveloped him with her mouth and he jerked rhythmically as he tried to control himself. His hands grasped the rough fabric of the tent as he gasped deeply… his hips moving forward in a surge towards her. He felt as though he was tilting at the very heavens themselves, as though some ineffable power was flowing through him as she played with him. He gasped and shuddered with orgiastic pleasure as he felt himself loosen… she looked up at him, a smile playing on her lips as she realised how utterly helpless he was in her hands. He pulled her towards him, entwining her with him, as though he was trying to entangled her soul with his. He could feel the warm rush from her heart pulse through her breasts and his hand, as if by instinct, naturally found its way to her groin. Now it was her turn to moan, as he first gentled rubbed her labia, then faster and harder as she moved towards him. Her breasts trembled in the dim light with the shudders of pleasure running through her body. He moved more against her, using his whole hand now as she arched her back and thrashed her head, uttering a low moaning sound almost in concert with the movement of his hands. He felt her, warm and welcoming, and fiercely desired her, but he held back for the moment. Her moaning reached a crescendo and with a crashing shudder she came, her eyes wide as she let forth a primordial shout of ecstasy. He felt her grasp for him, pulling his face towards hers as she longed to kiss him, to feel him, to almost try to pass the pleasure of the moment on to him through their mouths.

He knew it was time now, he straddled her and she moved her legs and guided him in. He looked into her eyes and saw them spark, with pleasure? surprise?, as he entered her. Her hands gripped his buttocks, stabbing her nails into them with a vicious passion as she tried to drag him further into her. He moved against her, and she started moaning anew as she felt him. His powerful thrusts transferred themselves to her and she reacted viscerally… moaning and thrashing beneath him as each tender nerve ending was further tortured with the agony of love. He could see the dull, almost agonised, look of animalesque pleasure in her eyes as she bucked beneath him… it gave him a sense of power and urged him to redouble his efforts. He could feel her tightening about him as she erupted upwards, her breasts shuddering as her back arched upwards, her hair drenched with sweat, her hot breath streaming into his face as his powerful hips flexed and contracted into her. He struggled to maintain control of himself, but the effort was too much, and he joined her too, letting out a roar of relief as he came… feeling every muscle relax and his head spin as he pumped himself into her. He thought he might pass out as his head dropped and he slowed to a halt, aside from a few spasmodic twitches revealing the extent of his orgasm. They stayed like that, exhausted, for a few seconds, until her gasping face found his and they kissed. He lay down next to her, both of them sticky and panting, but sated with bursting of the lust they had felt all day, and they slowly drifted to sleep in each others arms.
(Zapiola zip-zap-zop, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 20:11, Reply)

Very erotic.
Now go back to the twisted stuff! 'Tis much more amusing.
( flirting with badgers What? It sounded good at the time., Sun 6 Jul 2008, 20:29, Reply)

*giggles*
You said the E word :)
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 20:33, Reply)

E word?
Entered?
Edelweiss?
Engelbert?
Eostrich?

Erm... I'm lost.
(Zapiola zip-zap-zop, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 20:35, Reply)

Erected
*sniggers some more*
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 20:37, Reply)

Sigh..
I almost wrote 'beat him off' at one point... but realised that that would be taken the wrong way. Sigh..
(Zapiola zip-zap-zop, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 20:42, Reply)

Me likes this
* clicks *
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 22:40, Reply)