if you were on the witness stand
i would ask you, what is your evidence for asserting that it made a sound? how could you PROVE it?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 21 May 2013, 13:24, 1 reply, 12 years ago)

Oh right you are, let's have a live CCTV linkup and watch it happen from ten miles away as well then.
When coupled with the sound recording, you'd be paying my costs before you could say Jack Robinson
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 21 May 2013, 13:25, Reply)

you can't do that
a live CCTV link-up is to have the effect of HAVING SOMEONE THERE.

prosecution wins
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 21 May 2013, 13:26, Reply)

'to have the effect of'
Not actually being there.

I saw 9/11 on the TV - by your reckoning I was there, yeah?

TAKE HER DOWN
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 21 May 2013, 13:30, Reply)

it's a question of construction
i would argue (successfully) that there is an implied term that "hearing" it means by any means necessary, not just physical proximity to said decayed tree
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 21 May 2013, 13:38, Reply)

But that's the fucking point.
You ARE hearing it, but you AREN'T present.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 21 May 2013, 13:41, Reply)

It is about questioning existence, rather than questioning if falling trees actually make sounds.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 21 May 2013, 13:27, Reply)

I know this but it's a badly-phrased question.
That is what irritates me.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 21 May 2013, 13:32, Reply)

I blame dumbing down at the BBC.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 21 May 2013, 13:35, Reply)

I blame asylum seekers.
You know who has the right ideas about those cunts - that Nigel Tufnel.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 21 May 2013, 13:36, Reply)

Nigel Lythgoe is your man

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 21 May 2013, 13:37, Reply)

I tell you what, that Nigel Kennedy chap is asking the questions other politicians shy away from.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 21 May 2013, 13:40, Reply)

I like how that Nigel Slater is tackling the issue of unlimited migration head on.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 21 May 2013, 13:42, Reply)

Another similar one is the old Buddhist 'sound of one hand clapping' phrase.
That's all very mystical - except that, you pricks, I can clap with one hand and have therefore heard the sound of one hand clapping, I did it just now, so fuck off you baldy queers.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 21 May 2013, 13:36, Reply)

It really makes you think

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 21 May 2013, 13:36, Reply)

It sure does. It makes me think 'you fucking baldy queers'.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 21 May 2013, 13:37, Reply)