Duck waddles into a bar.
Flies up to the nearest bar stool and asks the barman,"Got any crackers?"
Barman politely replies, "Sorry, no sir. However, in the way of snacks we do sell crisps, nuts, pork scratchings, bacon bites and scampi fries."
Duck says nothing by way of reply, simply waddles out.
Next day, same duck saunters into the same bar. "Got any crackers?" he asks the barman.
Patiently the barman replies, "I believe you were in yesterday sir; I'm afraid all we sell are nuts, crisps, scampi fries etc. If it's crackers you want, there's a Waitrose just down the road from here." Again, duck says nothing, taking his leave.
Next day, same scenario, duck goes into the bar. "Got any crackers?" Again the barman replies, beginning to lose patience at this point, "Look mate, I've told you what snacks we have here and that you can buy crackers from the supermarket down the road."
Duck does the same thing the following day, wanders up to the bar. "Got any crackers?"
The poor barman, apoplectic with rage by now, shouts, "You, you little beaky twat - if you come in here ONCE more asking for crackers, I'm gonna nail your fucking beak to the bar!"
Fifth day in a row, duck waddles up to a stool in the bar.
"Got any nails?"
"No" replies the barman ponderously.
"GOT ANY CRACKERS?"
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Thu 30 May 2013, 23:23, 3 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

I'd give that 2.8/10 for delivery
and 0.6 for artistic interpretation.
Or do I mean autistic?
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Thu 30 May 2013, 23:29, Reply)

He could probably get some nails from waitrose as well

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 30 May 2013, 23:30, Reply)

in song format
m.youtube.com/#/watch?v=MtN1YnoL46Q&desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DMtN1YnoL46Q
(PsychoChomp, Thu 30 May 2013, 23:45, Reply)

Like it :)

( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Fri 31 May 2013, 0:03, Reply)