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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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I've got a really itchy but on my shoulder and it's too awkward a position to get a good scratch at.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 7 Aug 2013, 14:10, 5 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
Tell sportscow to sit somewhere else then

(I helped save b3ta! Reginald Donkeyfuck, Wed 7 Aug 2013, 14:11, Reply)
Meh

(I helped save b3ta! Reginald Donkeyfuck, Wed 7 Aug 2013, 14:14, Reply)
*does wobbly hand motion*

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 7 Aug 2013, 14:20, Reply)
Get someone to scratch it for you
You don't buy a dog and bark yourself
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 7 Aug 2013, 14:13, Reply)
I'm alone apart from a couple of customers

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 7 Aug 2013, 14:23, Reply)
So?
Say to one of them "Do you want anymore booze today? Then scratch my fucking shoulder."
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 7 Aug 2013, 14:24, Reply)
They're weird old men,
I don't really want them to touch me. But it's alright, I've found a solution.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 7 Aug 2013, 14:30, Reply)
Showering once in a while?

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 7 Aug 2013, 14:34, Reply)
You're such a horrid bully sometimes you know that?

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 7 Aug 2013, 14:43, Reply)
But on your shoulder?
You could try cosmetic surgery.
(I helped save b3ta! edjogs Collared doves are shit., Wed 7 Aug 2013, 14:17, Reply)
Have you tried rubbing your back up and down a tree like Baloo?

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 7 Aug 2013, 14:18, Reply)
There are no trees in the pub.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 7 Aug 2013, 14:23, Reply)
Huh...call that a pub?
More like a...no-tree place for QUEERS or something! Hahah queers.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 7 Aug 2013, 14:25, Reply)
There used to be a pub in Oxford with a tree in the middle of the bar.
It might still be there but it's in a really studenty bit that I try to avoid.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 7 Aug 2013, 14:29, Reply)
Sounds like someone has pub-tree envy
pssst....I'm talking about you
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 7 Aug 2013, 14:33, Reply)
Look, Windy, I like you but I can't do all of your thinking for you.
You can lead a horse to water...
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 7 Aug 2013, 14:25, Reply)
but you can't make it perform cpr

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 7 Aug 2013, 14:28, Reply)
I found a rough knot of door frame about the right height.
It's all sorted.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 7 Aug 2013, 14:28, Reply)
did one of your legs start going like you were chasing a rabbit?

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 7 Aug 2013, 14:38, Reply)
A little.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 7 Aug 2013, 14:45, Reply)
Chopsticks are great for scratching, especially the wooden ones you get for free in a take away.
Because you're not eating with them, and are against waste, you can put them back afterwards.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 7 Aug 2013, 14:29, Reply)

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