bastard twunt pooface mcjobbies!
Some twat walked past my car last night and thought "Hmm, is it possible to turn a car into a bomb by:

a. taking off the petrol cap
b. twisting up some paper a la a big fuse
c. inserting said paper into petrol tank via official petrol-putting-in-hole.
d. setting light to said paper.
e. and then running away?"

Fortunately the plot failed which is just as well, since I was parked about 8 feet from my downstairs neighbour's window.

Then when I tried to put some petrol in this morning I could have filled up three times in the time it took to put a fiver in, penny by penny, because the nozzle didn't like being in the tank and kept doing that "Shan't!" thing. So obviously there is something still lodged in the tank.

fucking twunts.

Then I went to report it to the police, but they were closed.

Then to add insult to injury I got stuck behind a Micra doing 35mph all the way down the A72, so I was late for work as well.

*boils*


I think I need a hug

[email protected] - and I was so cross I forgot my lunch as well. And I have £4 to last until tomorrow which I need to buy petrol with.
ARSE!


[email protected] - having poked about with coathangers, it seems that i may have a fuel tank full of toilet tissue. so i might not get home tonight, and I'll have to buy/fit a new fuel filter at some point.

*boils again*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 10:31, 15 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Have a massive hug from me.
and a cup of tea and lots and lots of cake!
( wanderlust, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 10:33, Reply)

Fucking hell!
*hugs and squeezes*

Some people really are very, very speshul.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 10:34, Reply)

That's absolutely rubbish.
*hugs*
( Cawl, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 10:40, Reply)

Oh, FFS
That shouldn't happen in sleepy Borders towns.

(Although I've been there, and it's not that sleepy!)

*enhuggens HLT*

Edit - did this miscreant have to force your filler flap open? Normally it's locked with the car's central locking system. What a twunt.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 10:40, Reply)

thanks for all the hugs
sleepy borders towns my arse. they're all full of boy racers who zoom up and down the cobbles till 4am. where do they get the money for the petrol/chrome gearknobs/stupid paintjobs/ridiculous alloys?

edit@k2k6 - no, the central locking has never worked and so i will have to invest in a lockable filler cap now as opposed to thinking "I drive a 13 year-old VW polo, possibly the least exciting car in all of Scotland, no-one would want to steal/vandalise/set fire to it"
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 10:43, Reply)

A locking cap
may be a good idea, especially with the current price of fuel.

I'm not trying to slag off your car or anything, but at £1.20-odd a litre, a full tank of petrol will represent a significant portion of its value, seeing as it's a bit elderly.

Setting fire to it is just plain wrong though.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 10:48, Reply)

ta miss 'crenne!
@k2k6 - that's why I never fill it above half a tank. even though that means I have to refill it every other day (almost).

anyway, it's 1.14 a litre in Gala at the mo.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 10:51, Reply)

*Manly, paternal hug*
Just give me their names...
(Che Grimsdale Best before:, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 10:51, Reply)

Enfolds
HLT in snuggly hugs with go-go-Gadget limbs...

and brings tea, obviously.
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 10:52, Reply)

omg
bastards!

have they never seen pulp fiction? you just "don't fuck with another man's automobile".

which is just as true for girly cars!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 10:54, Reply)

Sorry to hear that HLT
Bastards! At least they didn't torch the car, getting a locking fuel cap is a wise idea.

Here's hoping the oxygen thieves blow themselves up real soon.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 24 Jul 2008, 11:43, Reply)

@hlt
Have a *monster hug* since you were so nice and put up with my whining yesterday!

*have another*
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 16:47, Reply)

Yet again
*hugs* for HLT

Rswipe is quite right ... touch a persons car and you lose all right to protection from the law!


Someone rear ended me on the drive home tonight!

3rd time since Christmas.

This moron was flapping and waving at a friend in another car in the other lane while tryin to light a fag at the same time.

I could see her coming in the rear view mirror ... knew exactly what was about to happen ..... CRUNCH!!!!!

And ... ladies and gentlemen, this is why I drive a BMW 7 series. Not because I am a steriotypical twat or toff or suchlike (quite the opposite in fact), but because this is what happened next.

She hit me square on the rear bumper at about only 15mph. I had seen her coming and had time to sit back in my seat and relax for the impact

She hit ... did'nt feel like much of a bump at all. quite soft like a very gentle push in the back.

I got out to see how things went for her.

She had not been wearing a seat belt and had clonked her head on the windscreen. Not enough to break it but enough for a big bump and bruise to be swelling up. She was driving a ford ka. The front bumper was off, the bonnet crumpled and her radiator had let go and was steaming and spewing water.

The rear bumper on the good old 7 had a small scratch. Less than an inch. Apart fom that ... no damage.

And that is why ladies and germs that I put up with the abuse I get for driving a big BMW.

This silly woman had to go off in an ambulance and have her car towed off for extensive repairs. I barely felt the impact and wont even bother claiming from her for the minute scratch on my car.

When I consider that normally my 4 year old Daughter would have been sat in the back of the car were it not for the school holidays then I thank god that someone makes road legal tanks.

/Edit ... the nice policeman who turned up with the ambulance has just phoned me up to ask if I would be a witness against her for dangerous driving due to lighting the fag while waving to her friend in the other lane being the likely cause of the accident.

I told him I would think about it and let him know ... what do you think. Has she suffered enough or does she deserve 5 - 12 points on her license (coppers guestimate if she gets convicted) ???
( RadG Drinking Mojitos in the sun, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 20:43, Reply)

@RadG
She tickled a stationary BMW, she could have mounted a kerb and hit a person.

Up to you, really.

BTW "jobbies" is the funniest word in the English language and single-handedly justifies the continuing existence of Scotland.
( Kroney, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 7:43, Reply)