Morning all.
(sorry if I'm stepping on any toes)

Well it's been a lovely week and I'm enjoying the sun sitting in my back garden with a jug of Pimm's, yes I know it's early but the sun is over the yard arm somewhere in the Empire, as Father would say.

There is enough Pimm's and non-alcoholic punch for all. Cucumber sandwiches to follow.

Afternoon tea will be served at 3.

Bring your laptops as the wi-fi is strong.

Who cares to pull up a wicker chair?
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Sat 26 Jul 2008, 9:59, 55 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

good morning Mrs L
I don't think our paths have crossed before.
how'dyoudo?

Ooh, Pimms. But I'm at work, and I got squiffy yesterday, so I will have a glass of non-alcofrolic punch, thank you.

*pours punch*

*settles in*

so... how goes it?
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Sat 26 Jul 2008, 10:03, Reply)

Good morning my lovelies.
I'm not here for long, but can't say no to a morning shot of Pimms!
( thealternativefact, Sat 26 Jul 2008, 10:05, Reply)

Good morning HLT and Clendrix
All goes well thank you.

I've been off since Tuesday and being a teacher I don't go back until September. However I have no job to go back to, so I'm sitting in the garden with my back to the house so I don't start thinking about how I'm going to pay the mortgage!

How about your good self?
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Sat 26 Jul 2008, 10:17, Reply)

Everyone should own one of these
www.voco.uk.com/

It wakes you up in just the right mood!
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Sat 26 Jul 2008, 10:21, Reply)

that's brave, being a teacher
I wouldn't stand up in front of a class of kids without powers of arrest. And possibly body armour.

What age range do you teach?
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Sat 26 Jul 2008, 10:27, Reply)

I say
jolly good surrounds, ey what?

I do hope that Jeeves has poured Earl Grey, and not that ruffian English Breakfast drink.
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Sat 26 Jul 2008, 10:27, Reply)

I love the idea of sitting with one's back to one's problems.
I shall employ this method in as many places as I can.
( thealternativefact, Sat 26 Jul 2008, 10:31, Reply)

@HLT
Primary school. You can still make them cry at that age.
However, year 6 (10-11 years old) are scary. The girls all have bigger boobies that I do!

I have Lady Grey, will that be satisfactory?
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Sat 26 Jul 2008, 10:35, Reply)

sounds much better
than sitting with your back to the office door :(

*knows that alt/tab is now in muscle memory*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Sat 26 Jul 2008, 10:35, Reply)

I say chaps
I'm popping out for half an hour.

Ring the bell if you need anything, Jeeves will see to it.

Toodle pip and all that.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Sat 26 Jul 2008, 10:38, Reply)

Okely Dokely
I'm off for the weekend. Keep the Pimms flowing and I'll catch up with you soon.
( thealternativefact, Sat 26 Jul 2008, 10:43, Reply)

bye Mrs L, bye miss 'drix
oh look, they've left all this Pimms.

*quaffs*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Sat 26 Jul 2008, 10:44, Reply)

Lady Grey?
I'm sure one can stoop to a failed monarch's level (see what I did there? ey? ey?)
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Sat 26 Jul 2008, 10:44, Reply)

It was supposed to be drizzly today.
It's hot and bloody sunny. I could have gone gallivanting today but got squiffy last night which means I'm too tired and headachy to go anywhere. Bloody British weather.
( girlinthehole, Sat 26 Jul 2008, 10:50, Reply)

At least
your house is unlikely to flood, always look on the bright side of life.
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Sat 26 Jul 2008, 10:53, Reply)

there's always a bright side somewhere
even if you have to look really hard.

my bright side is easy today. I've just booked all my Fringe tickets! woo!
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Sat 26 Jul 2008, 10:56, Reply)

Well I am going to book my train and hotel for the London bash.
Woo!
( girlinthehole, Sat 26 Jul 2008, 10:58, Reply)

woo!
London!
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Sat 26 Jul 2008, 11:08, Reply)

*Woo!*
Just thought I'd join in.
Don't think I can afford the London Bash now which is shit:(
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Sat 26 Jul 2008, 11:50, Reply)

morning BK!
*hugs*

aww, that's rubbish. still, it won't be worth going anyway because I won't be there*.





*I'll be here, sobbing and wishing I lived in London.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Sat 26 Jul 2008, 11:54, Reply)

*hugs*
I could always turn up in Kelso and surprise you with cake and kittens!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Sat 26 Jul 2008, 11:59, Reply)

yes!
do that!


yay, cake and kittehs!
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Sat 26 Jul 2008, 12:01, Reply)

I really should go home
and see the folks at some point. I don't head up that way very often.

"Hi mum, hi dad. I'm dumping my stuff and heading off to Kelso."
"What's struggling in that bag?"
"Nothing"
*throws cake as distraction*

Definitely doing Edinburgh bash, I can crash at my best mate's in Dalkeith:)
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Sat 26 Jul 2008, 12:05, Reply)

^
hahahahaha!

*arrives back from work*
*sees man on square holding big bag of wriggling things*
*thinks "that's weird"*
*looks a bit closer*
*spies cake*
*hugs*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Sat 26 Jul 2008, 12:08, Reply)

i have returned
with more Pimms and all one needs for a cream tea.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Sat 26 Jul 2008, 12:08, Reply)

*giggles*
*returns hug*
*opens bag with a flourish*
*gets scratched to fuck in resulting feline dervish*

The idea was better on paper. Do you have any iodine
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Sat 26 Jul 2008, 12:10, Reply)

yes
*applies*

*also applies plasters, which have Spongebob Squarepants on*

*gets big net*

*catches kittens*

*goes to pub with BK and kittens*

*sells kittens in pub*

*spends profits on alcofrol*

*happies*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Sat 26 Jul 2008, 12:12, Reply)

Hehe
This is a fun game.

@Mrs L - good morning.
Pimms is good!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Sat 26 Jul 2008, 12:14, Reply)

welcome back Mrs L
your Pimm's is spot-on, what!

I say, anyone for tennis?
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Sat 26 Jul 2008, 12:23, Reply)

Woo, tennis!
*attempts to serve*
*misses*
*throws Andy Murray tantrum*

I think I'll stick to the Pimms, miss Tulip.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Sat 26 Jul 2008, 12:25, Reply)

I actually went out to buy more Pimm's for real
amongst other things. It's £10 a bottle, I'm sure it didn't used to be that expensive.


French Fancy anyone?

Tennis? I'd love to.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Sat 26 Jul 2008, 12:27, Reply)

@Mrs L
It is a bit on the expensive side these days.
I had some about a month ago and paid the same.
I may treat myself to a bottle of Mount Gay Jamaica Rum. It's gorgeous!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Sat 26 Jul 2008, 12:30, Reply)

phwoar, rum!
I like Captain Morgan's Spiced Rum.

There's a joke there somewhere.

I'm trying to write a nice letter to someone who wrote to complain about the music in the cafe. I don't want to be nice. I want to tell them they've got too much time on their hands, and that they probably need to get laid (it was a seven-paragraph letter!).
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Sat 26 Jul 2008, 12:40, Reply)

Mmm, Captain Morgan
It's all good - I'm a right sucker for rum.

What was wrong with the music in the cafe?
You clearly can't please all the people.
If they don't like it all they do is not go back. I don't see the point in complaining about that type of thing. Sad bastards.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Sat 26 Jul 2008, 12:44, Reply)

for starters, the fact that it was there
apparently music doesn't contribute to an atmosphere in any way.

i tells ya, if there's no choons on and only three people in, it's like the Mary effing Celeste!
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Sat 26 Jul 2008, 12:47, Reply)

@hlt
Idiots.

You should put on some Oxbow. That'll sort them out. How to clear a room in one easy sitting.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Sat 26 Jul 2008, 12:58, Reply)

Blimey!
the thing that annoyed me was that they referred to it as "muzak" all the way through the letter.

we play nice music. not fucking abba on fucking pan-pipes. bastards.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Sat 26 Jul 2008, 13:08, Reply)

Tell them
that if they don't like the music then they don't need to come back in.

Where is your cafe?

Can we all come for high tea?
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Sat 26 Jul 2008, 13:13, Reply)

In which case
I wouldn't even bother replying.
Bollocks to them.

*edit*Bollocks, just noticed I've cut myself shaving!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Sat 26 Jul 2008, 13:13, Reply)

@ Mrs L
tis part of me theatre, dahling!

@BK, don't worry, scars add character.


do you want another plaster?
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Sat 26 Jul 2008, 13:16, Reply)

I'm all booked!!!!!
*runs around house excitedly with t-shirt over head*



*falls down stairs and can't go on trip due to broken leg*
( girlinthehole, Sat 26 Jul 2008, 13:19, Reply)

@hlt
Yay, Spongebob on my neck!

I have more scars than anyone else I know.
I've got four seperate ones on my left wrist from drunken window punching, a big one on my stomach from having intestines taken out when I was little, a hernia scar just above my groin, one on the back of my hand from taking a chunk out of it on scafolding, one on the back of my head from a teenage scrap, one on my knee from god knows where, and a 27 year-old bruise on my eyeball from toddling into the sharp corner of a table.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Sat 26 Jul 2008, 13:20, Reply)

@BGB
Oh, you ok?
Tulip, I think we need another plaster here!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Sat 26 Jul 2008, 13:21, Reply)

miss blouse!
control yourself, please!

*averts eyes*

*mends leg*

@BK - you've been in the wars, medear! I have a tiny scar on my thumb where I sliced it open, halfway through making a fruit salad for 300 people. Stupid slippery oranges.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Sat 26 Jul 2008, 13:22, Reply)

Hi BK
I'm fine. Just excited and sore bum from sitting in front of the computer for so long looking at hotels.
( girlinthehole, Sat 26 Jul 2008, 13:22, Reply)

Was it...
...a blood orange? *arf*

@BGB
Glad you got it all booked. I don't think I can make it due to shortage of funds:(
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Sat 26 Jul 2008, 13:24, Reply)

*Passes BGB Pimms
and a wicker chair with a discrete rubber ring.*
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Sat 26 Jul 2008, 13:24, Reply)

@BK
That's a shame. I couldn't really afford it so I asked my dad,(my boss), if I could book it on my business c/card. A perk for putting up with him as a boss.

Edit - I need to get out soon and get some fresh air.
( girlinthehole, Sat 26 Jul 2008, 13:26, Reply)

I could
sneak across to Todmorden and hide in your luggage.
It in't far!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Sat 26 Jul 2008, 13:27, Reply)

@BK
It was afterwards! :(

Oi, I thought you were coming up here?
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Sat 26 Jul 2008, 13:28, Reply)

@BK
I travel through Leeds to get to London and back so you could sneak in on the platform while I wasn't looking.
( girlinthehole, Sat 26 Jul 2008, 13:28, Reply)

@hlt
It was misdirection!

If I go, yay London, it's more of a surprise when I appear with the cake and the struggling bag of kittens!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Sat 26 Jul 2008, 13:31, Reply)

Right, I'm off out for a walk.
I live opposite a park for God's sake. Be silly not to take advantage.

See you all later perhaps.
( girlinthehole, Sat 26 Jul 2008, 13:33, Reply)

Later BGB
Enjoy the walk!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Sat 26 Jul 2008, 13:33, Reply)

hey...
I just watched Vipros play a gig. But there's no one here to tell. :( (He was ace!)
( thealternativefact, Sat 26 Jul 2008, 23:51, Reply)