Hello gays and awkward social failures
So I hear Chompy flounced because people kept taking the mick out of his post-dumping bleating and Swipe fell over because she's a shit spastic on a shit, unhealthy diet that makes you lose weight by driving you near to total organ failure, while blaming it on her orthopaedic platform shoes. What else have I missed?

Alt: It turns out that in my absence my flatmate has dyed her hair purple, booked a hundred pound hair salon appointment to get it dyed to the bright red she actually wanted AND gone on a trip to Nottingham to go to Warhammer World with a guy she doesn't really like. What stupid things have happened in your absence from home or work or whatever or oh God I don't care mk2 Golf brake discs?
( Kroney, Sat 14 Sep 2013, 8:03, 78 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

K-roney I'm in a foul mood do you want me to kill your flat mate?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Sat 14 Sep 2013, 8:13, Reply)

Hungover by any chance?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sat 14 Sep 2013, 8:16, Reply)

Heads banging like a bastard
I didn't go to sleep till 4am
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Sat 14 Sep 2013, 8:21, Reply)

Oh HH, what's wrong?
Did you nob your ex and get an inconvenient infection that you're going to have a devil of a time explaining away to the wife when she gets a peculiar itching in her chuff?
( Kroney, Sat 14 Sep 2013, 8:22, Reply)

Way bigger problems, K way bigger

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Sat 14 Sep 2013, 8:24, Reply)

Bad luck on the job
But look at it this way, you're unemployed but have two women fighting over you whilst Chompy is assuaging his loneliness with home brewed paint stripper before going to his dead end office drone job. He can't even turn to the warm embrace of B3ta's agony aunts after his flounce, unlike you. You've got it made, son.
( Kroney, Sat 14 Sep 2013, 8:30, Reply)

:(

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Sat 14 Sep 2013, 8:32, Reply)

it's a touch insensitive to mention strippers in connection with Chompy
And I thought you were one of the good guys on here as well.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 14 Sep 2013, 8:33, Reply)

Mornin' K-dog
Must've had a power surge while I was at work yesterday - heating/hot water controller thingy's fucked, other than that all's well.
Long day today but there will be curry so that's ok.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Sat 14 Sep 2013, 8:18, Reply)

It's a rock'n'roll morning in Cov, that's for sure!
I'm in Llandudno. It's a bit like Cov but people's accents are even more stupid.
( Kroney, Sat 14 Sep 2013, 8:23, Reply)

As a Frog I'm sure you get along just fine in Wales..
... the languages are related, not as closely as in the valleys (incest joke)but fairly close. Remember to take every opportunity to tell the locals that they are sheep-shagging, workshy troglodytes* in a conquered land - they love that shit.

*You may have to explain this one
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Sat 14 Sep 2013, 8:40, Reply)

Morning LOOSERZ
I feel ill
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 14 Sep 2013, 8:35, Reply)

alright Flight Sergeant Froggington ffoulkes Smythe

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 14 Sep 2013, 8:43, Reply)

Alright Rear Admiral Dozington-Fallowfield III

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 14 Sep 2013, 8:44, Reply)

yer

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 14 Sep 2013, 8:46, Reply)

Are you being nice or horrid today?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 14 Sep 2013, 8:47, Reply)

Hey, I'm never horrid :'(

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 14 Sep 2013, 8:47, Reply)

*I* know that, but other people might think you're a bit of a mean old bastard.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 14 Sep 2013, 8:51, Reply)

Nobody thinks that, do they?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 14 Sep 2013, 8:51, Reply)

No not really, I think your a tedious twat

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Sat 14 Sep 2013, 8:55, Reply)

*you're

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 14 Sep 2013, 8:56, Reply)

EXactly

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Sat 14 Sep 2013, 8:56, Reply)

You seem a bit preoccupied with the letters e and x, why is that?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 14 Sep 2013, 8:57, Reply)

All he is missing is U
No S
Fuck, hang on, I've messed that up.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 14 Sep 2013, 8:58, Reply)

Typical Froggsy!

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 14 Sep 2013, 8:59, Reply)

the Prick fell for that

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Sat 14 Sep 2013, 8:57, Reply)

^ upset

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 14 Sep 2013, 8:58, Reply)

very much

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Sat 14 Sep 2013, 8:59, Reply)

Up until 4am, eh?
You must have a fuck of a hangover. What were you drinking?
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 14 Sep 2013, 9:00, Reply)

I was supping on the furry cup of your dead mum

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Sat 14 Sep 2013, 9:01, Reply)

Typical Harters!

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 14 Sep 2013, 9:02, Reply)

She tasted of bruised and beaten cancer

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Sat 14 Sep 2013, 9:02, Reply)

welll if youR going to be a a prick I might as well be one

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Sat 14 Sep 2013, 9:05, Reply)

^tedious twat^

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 14 Sep 2013, 8:57, Reply)

YESSSSSSSSS 247/9 !!!1111!!!!

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Sat 14 Sep 2013, 8:58, Reply)

08:59 14/09/13 YESSSSS!!!!!!!!!

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 14 Sep 2013, 8:59, Reply)

*knocks the ball out off he park*

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Sat 14 Sep 2013, 9:00, Reply)

Is that where He-Man goes to play?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 14 Sep 2013, 9:02, Reply)

*Cringers*

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Sat 14 Sep 2013, 9:03, Reply)

I should have a hangover but I don't.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 14 Sep 2013, 9:50, Reply)

cool story bro

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 14 Sep 2013, 9:56, Reply)

I liked the bit where he should have had a hangover but didn't the best.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 14 Sep 2013, 10:06, Reply)

yer, that story arc took a long time to come to fruition but was worth the wait

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 14 Sep 2013, 10:08, Reply)

It's a meandering plot full of twists and turns, sure, I was glad it had a happy ending.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 14 Sep 2013, 10:11, Reply)

Happy endings?
You're thinking of chompy's massage parlour missus.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 14 Sep 2013, 10:12, Reply)

Who?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 14 Sep 2013, 10:17, Reply)

dunno, soz

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 14 Sep 2013, 10:25, Reply)

Glad you enjoyed it.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 14 Sep 2013, 10:32, Reply)

:)

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 14 Sep 2013, 10:33, Reply)

in the caff with my kid.
Museum of London Docklands AGAIN soon. I've way less money than I thought I had. Gonna have to go crying to mater. Aged 39 :'(
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 14 Sep 2013, 10:20, Reply)

Yeah, but in other news 1/1 YESSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!
Plus, I have more money than I thought.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 14 Sep 2013, 10:22, Reply)

chip me a oner boss

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 14 Sep 2013, 10:31, Reply)

How long until you get paid?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 14 Sep 2013, 10:33, Reply)

27th
I have to pay for my energy cert and for some bollocks about my overflow pipe too. Gonna do some pleading and stalling.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 14 Sep 2013, 10:40, Reply)

cool story bro

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 14 Sep 2013, 10:41, Reply)

watch out guys!
Dozer's being 'edgy' again
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 14 Sep 2013, 10:45, Reply)

Get fucked.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 14 Sep 2013, 10:46, Reply)

UH OH!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 14 Sep 2013, 10:50, Reply)

wuv u really xx

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 14 Sep 2013, 10:52, Reply)

^gay

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 14 Sep 2013, 11:03, Reply)

^loving it^

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 14 Sep 2013, 11:05, Reply)

He's only human.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 14 Sep 2013, 11:06, Reply)

+ just

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Sat 14 Sep 2013, 11:21, Reply)

Gladly.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 14 Sep 2013, 10:33, Reply)

thanks Doc!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 14 Sep 2013, 10:49, Reply)

Here to help.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 14 Sep 2013, 11:02, Reply)

Morning gay lordlings

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Sat 14 Sep 2013, 11:06, Reply)

gid moaning

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 14 Sep 2013, 11:06, Reply)

Oooooh 'ello!

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 14 Sep 2013, 11:08, Reply)

alright Nakes

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 14 Sep 2013, 11:13, Reply)

Morning all above
I've been doing wedding bollocks all morning, might have a glass of champers in a minute.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Sat 14 Sep 2013, 11:18, Reply)

And where did you meet wedding bollocks? It it serious?
Thirsty work.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 14 Sep 2013, 11:27, Reply)

He's the new Hartley Hare

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 14 Sep 2013, 11:29, Reply)

Morning Nakers.
Champagne before midday eh, how refined.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 14 Sep 2013, 11:22, Reply)

Special occasion innt

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Sat 14 Sep 2013, 11:27, Reply)

Special needs.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 14 Sep 2013, 11:33, Reply)

I especially need your mum

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Sat 14 Sep 2013, 11:37, Reply)

She's pretty worn out though.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 14 Sep 2013, 11:38, Reply)