Long one (ish)
So, this guy is involved in a horrific accident, whereupon his manhood is severed. The surgeons try in vain to reattach it, but fail spectacularly.

On being told the news, the poor bloke is more than a little upset. “Isn’t there anything you can do?” he asks. The surgeon thinks for a bit, rubs his chin, and replies, “Well, I have heard of a revolutionary new technique, where the trunk of a baby elephant is grafted on. It’s a long shot, but may be worth a shot”.

“I’ll try anything,” comes the desperate response.

Six months later and the op is a resounding success. The guy is invited to parties and is generally a big hit with the ladies. One evening, at a particularly well attended party, all the guests are enjoying dinner, including our elephant-proportioned hero. He’s regaling his audience with amusing tales, when suddenly he feels a stirring in the trouser department. Before he can do anything, his trunk bursts forth from his flies, waves around in the air for a bit, then homes in on the nearest bread roll, grabs it, then snakes back inside his trousers.

The guests are dumbstruck for a few seconds, then one of them remarks, “That is probably the most incredible thing I’ve ever seen. Go on, do it again”.

“I’d love to”, our hero replies, “but I don’t think I can fit another bread roll up my arse”.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 4 Aug 2008, 16:18, Reply)