I want to tap into your collective creativity...
My ex is a lovely boy, but has been brainwashed by a silly little bint. Among other things, this delightful young lady sends me abusive texts from his phone, pretending to be him. Clearly she has issues, but how can I bring this to his attention without seeming like a jealous ex?

Or should I just leave him to get fucked over?
(Moniker, Thu 7 Aug 2008, 15:26, 21 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Tough one.
Ignore them, she'll get bored.
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Thu 7 Aug 2008, 15:30, Reply)

Shit in a box and post it to her
That'll teach her
( disasterprone "Pyjamas caused the Holocaust", Thu 7 Aug 2008, 15:30, Reply)

send his phone a message
saying "can you please get your stupid crazy bitch of a girlfriend to stop sending me abusive messages pretending to be you? Seriously, what kind of loser feels the need to do that sort of shit? PS. I'm not jealous I just can't be arsed to read that crap. Cunt."
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 7 Aug 2008, 15:31, Reply)

Well if you split on good terms and he's as lovely as you say.
Just meet up with him and explain the situation.
( girlinthehole, Thu 7 Aug 2008, 15:32, Reply)

Meet up with him
and show him the messages you've been getting, and let him explain it to you. I would wager that he'll turn red and start spluttering that it's not him. You then simply ask him who else could be sending them, and let him reach the obvious conclusion.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Thu 7 Aug 2008, 15:34, Reply)

@vipros
But how can I be sure he gets it and not her?

@BGB

We did split on good terms, but since she banned him from speaking to me, I can't get within 10 metres before he starts running. We haven't spoken since February, the reason for the messages being even more puzzling.
(Moniker, Thu 7 Aug 2008, 15:35, Reply)

re: my suggestion
it wouldn't matter if she gets it as it might serve to highlight to her that she is a silly cow

banning someone from talking to someone is not exactly a particularly sane thing to do, nor is sending abusive messages pretending to be from someone else.

she has issues and needs to realise it.

alternatively, ignore it and have a laugh at her expense for wasting her time on some imagined cause for jealousy

or, if they continue, get a male friend to phone up pretending to be the police to deal with a nuisance caller
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 7 Aug 2008, 15:51, Reply)

Block his mobile number
Then send him an email explaining that you've done that and why. Let him come back to you about it.

Win.
( Kroney, Thu 7 Aug 2008, 15:51, Reply)

@vipros
I like the police idea, that made me snigger :)
(Moniker, Thu 7 Aug 2008, 15:55, Reply)

Tough one.
You might have to just wait it out. If she's psycho enough to send you spiteful messages, then one day pretty soon your ex should realise that she's an insane, jealous petty bitch. One hopes.

A colleague of mine had a similar problem: not abusive texts, but a friend of hers got a new girlfriend who made him send my colleague a message explaining that he can no longer be friends with her. He then unfriended her on facebook, and no longer replies to emails. All on the insistence of this weird new woman.
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Thu 7 Aug 2008, 16:02, Reply)

A difficult one
If you do or say anything to him, then you risk losing the friendship and everything going tits around you. It's had advice, but the best thing you can do is remain silent and let him make his own mistakes, but be there for him when he realises that his new g/f is a psychohosebeast.

It's a boring answer I'm afraid, but then I rarely if ever feel any need to get so medievel on someone they fear the ground I walk on. I'm much too nice for that.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 7 Aug 2008, 16:03, Reply)

@bobfossil
That's almost exactly what happened to me! But it was her that sent the messages about not being friends as well, but she did that while he sat and watched. This leads me to think he may be beyond help.
(Moniker, Thu 7 Aug 2008, 16:08, Reply)

I couldn't be with someone that insanely jealous I don't think
I can get a touch of the green eyed monster myself occasionally, but I quickly realise that it is unfounded and get over myself.

The saying you can't be friends thing: I can at least see where they are coming from, it's crazy and controlling, but easily understandable.

sending mental messages after that is just plain weird.

why not send a text containing the link to your post?
www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post216979
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 7 Aug 2008, 16:17, Reply)

@Moniker
He's probably (a) scared of her, and (b) scared of being alone.

Do you have any mutual friends you can talk to about this? Preferably male ones, as she'll probably stop him talking to any female friends he has soon... See if they can stage an intervention, or at least point out to him that he stands to lose quite a few friends if he doesn't stop this new girlf being a psycho.
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Thu 7 Aug 2008, 16:26, Reply)

@bobfossil
He already lost quite a few when he started seeing her! But that's an idea, I might see how that goes down.
(Moniker, Thu 7 Aug 2008, 16:33, Reply)

Exes are tiresome creatures.
I'd say try calling him, say, when he's at work or somewhere you know she won't be too and showing him what you've been receiving. If you are good friends, he should understand. If as you say he may indeed be a lost cause, then perhaps you're better off without him, and by extension her. I'll be watching this sort for suggestions on ridding Mr Maladicta and me of his psycho ex who pops up to mess with his head sometimes... let me know how you get on!
( Maladicta, Thu 7 Aug 2008, 17:01, Reply)

My friend
is a police occifer, and if she lives in a certain area of essex im sure I can arrange a visit for a friendly chat if you like?

Failing that another friend is a forester, we can have her snatched from the streets, pushed through an industrial sized wood chipper and fed to the pigs in a little under 2 hours?

alternatively save all the texts, give your phone to a mutual third party friend who can present the evidence to the ex and mad bitch.
(Halfy By light alone, Thu 7 Aug 2008, 17:06, Reply)

@al
Wow, love it. A definite addition to my to do list....
(Moniker, Thu 7 Aug 2008, 17:37, Reply)

well...
Send him a text that just says ...

The other day was great can't wait to do it again xxx

... then wait for the shit to hit the fan, if she is sending messages off his phone she has got to be reading them as well.
She won't be able to NOT comment on it but not be able to justify why she was looking at/using his phone.
(Barry Chuckle has gone out in the thong to feed the pigeons, Thu 7 Aug 2008, 17:59, Reply)

^ This is spectacularly tempting.
Even for a mostly sane girlfriend like me, and it would prove a point. Then just feign ignorance "shit, did I send that to you?" - depends how recent the split is, though.
( Maladicta, Thu 7 Aug 2008, 20:03, Reply)