Just think, if things had worked out better you'd be married & living there now.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 10 Jan 2014, 12:38, 1 reply, 11 years ago)

hahahahahahaha
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeurgh. I hate going there, everything is so fake and new. makes me really appreciate the architecture and winding random streets in central London, I guess.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 10 Jan 2014, 12:47, Reply)

Just imagine...
Mondeo on the drive
DFS sofa
Sundays at the garden centre
Saving up for holidays in some shitty part of Greece
Laminate flooring & secondary double glazing
Homebrew bottles cluttering up the airing cupboard

You're missing out on so much!
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 10 Jan 2014, 12:50, Reply)

U2 on the car stereo, romantic dates at Pizza Express

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 10 Jan 2014, 12:54, Reply)

stop it, the pair of you
i'm fragile enough after 3 hours' skiing there
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 10 Jan 2014, 12:55, Reply)

your husband singing along to Oasis as you drive to Xscape for your weekly ski lessons together

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 10 Jan 2014, 13:01, Reply)

Followed by a £5.99 Sunday lunch at Brewers Fayre as a treat.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 10 Jan 2014, 13:03, Reply)

i think the people who live there see their plastic chain restaurants as fine dining

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 10 Jan 2014, 13:04, Reply)

using the '2 meals for a tenner' offer to save that all important 1.98

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 10 Jan 2014, 13:06, Reply)

Plus free puddings if you order two glasses of house white wine!

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 10 Jan 2014, 13:07, Reply)

both the puddings would be for Gill, Ru*ri would be so smitten with his wife that he'd be blind to the ever increasing fat folds in her walrusesque body

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 10 Jan 2014, 13:09, Reply)

i don't like puddings
I like them even less than I like your laughable pork chop sideburns
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 10 Jan 2014, 13:11, Reply)

they ent pork chops
They only come down to just above my jawline.

I have a great jawline and bone structure.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 10 Jan 2014, 13:20, Reply)

He'd probably scrape the yeast out from between the folds & use it for brewing.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 10 Jan 2014, 13:14, Reply)

haha!
And he'd use his straggly pubes as hops.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 10 Jan 2014, 13:18, Reply)