+ in my doorway

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 10 Nov 2014, 17:52, 1 reply, 10 years ago)

A worse one for my pride
was when I saw a girl I had met once previously and had a crush on, in the local pubs beer garden looking upset. I went out to be a shoulder to cry on and had a long intense conversation with her about her relationship with her sister etc.
At the end she hugged me and thanked me. I trotted out a truly wanky 'hey, there're some things you can only tell a stranger', put my hand on the snow covered wall and vaulted over to the pavement.
What I'd forgotten is that the snow obscured wall was actually a fucking hedge. When I put my weight on my hand I essentially fell into it, screaming like a woman, headfirst up to my stomach, legs flailing and part of one arm free. Gravity got me out after about 5 seconds of frantic kicking and landed me on my back on the pavement with most of the buttons torn off my shirt. 5 seconds is a long time when you're upside down in a bush with your shirt half off in front of a girl you want to fuck. She didn't fuck me.
(Oooh_cuntroversial Where have I been?, Mon 10 Nov 2014, 17:58, Reply)

Haha, who the fuck are you?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 10 Nov 2014, 18:00, Reply)

I only recently remembered my password
to the site so I'm getting back involved.
(Oooh_cuntroversial Where have I been?, Mon 10 Nov 2014, 18:03, Reply)

I'm also a morbidly
obese skinhead with no ears.
(Oooh_cuntroversial Where have I been?, Mon 10 Nov 2014, 18:03, Reply)

Well that's 98% of the posters here (well apart the skinhead and no ears part)

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 10 Nov 2014, 18:10, Reply)

Nice one, so when was you last posting?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 10 Nov 2014, 18:04, Reply)

Were, you prick

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 10 Nov 2014, 18:05, Reply)

^still is^

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 10 Nov 2014, 18:08, Reply)

He drives me mad with this
It's one of my pet hates.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 10 Nov 2014, 18:48, Reply)

Stop YAKing on about it

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 10 Nov 2014, 18:49, Reply)

I don't get it

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 10 Nov 2014, 18:51, Reply)

Well I'm not suprised what with that Peado beard

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 10 Nov 2014, 18:52, Reply)

Alright tangles?
how's your glans?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 10 Nov 2014, 18:51, Reply)

Glistening
How's your shady, unethical new job?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 10 Nov 2014, 18:54, Reply)

Alright thanks, anyway you dunt even know what it is...do you?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 10 Nov 2014, 19:00, Reply)

I see all

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 10 Nov 2014, 19:03, Reply)

About 10 months ago
there've been some name changes it seems. The general seething low level belligerence and world weary cynicism that I love have remained the same though. Fantastic!
(Oooh_cuntroversial Where have I been?, Mon 10 Nov 2014, 18:06, Reply)

Hahahha, also fuck off back to qotw

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 10 Nov 2014, 18:03, Reply)

Sorry BakedApe
sorry, I'm really sorry. Sorry.
(Oooh_cuntroversial Where have I been?, Mon 10 Nov 2014, 18:07, Reply)

By the way I'm the best one not here, ok?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 10 Nov 2014, 18:08, Reply)

That made
my brain squeak.
(Oooh_cuntroversial Where have I been?, Mon 10 Nov 2014, 18:10, Reply)