THE NORTH - A REFLECTION ON NORTHERN ENGLAND BY DAVID PAULSNAKE
Cobbled streets and flat caps?
Fashionable in the North

Granary, barms and floured baps?
Fine dining in the North

Outside toilets, shit in bags?
Unsanitary in the North

General intolerance of fags?
Homophobic in the North

Why is it so shit up here?
Everywhere in the North

People living like yesteryear?
History in the North

Supping pints of crappy 'mild'?
Lager for the North

Most street corners coal is piled?
Heating in the North

Riding around in a horse and cart?
Black cabs for the North

Background odours like a fart?
Fresh air in the North

It's fucking bent and shit and gay
I'm getting the next train home today
So now all I have left so say
Tools down, fuck you, The North.





( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sun 25 Oct 2015, 7:18, 27 replies, latest was 10 years ago)

Whippets and pigeons?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 25 Oct 2015, 7:59, Reply)

the ate them all covered in lashings of Bisto

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sun 25 Oct 2015, 9:02, Reply)

They did invent the technique for injecting MDMA directly in to the mouth.
A process they call 'E by gum'.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 25 Oct 2015, 8:01, Reply)

I'm on the way to Essex.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Sun 25 Oct 2015, 8:01, Reply)

more lies

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sun 25 Oct 2015, 9:05, Reply)

gutted lol
hope you don't have north AIDS
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Sun 25 Oct 2015, 8:04, Reply)

thx bbz

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sun 25 Oct 2015, 9:03, Reply)

Did you see
4 old men in a bath on wheels rolling down a hill?
(Oooh_cuntroversial Where have I been?, Sun 25 Oct 2015, 8:19, Reply)

yes we did, it was going well until it crashed and went on fire and we all laughed and feasted on their charred remains

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sun 25 Oct 2015, 9:04, Reply)

alright Craig Raine

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sun 25 Oct 2015, 8:22, Reply)

do one u fackin melt

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sun 25 Oct 2015, 9:04, Reply)

stay strong x

( $$ ✅, Sun 25 Oct 2015, 8:30, Reply)

don't wanna talk about it on here soz

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sun 25 Oct 2015, 9:04, Reply)

I'm watching The Professionals.
Tim Burgess is playing the baddie. Possibly.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 25 Oct 2015, 10:12, Reply)

I'd love a Ford Capri.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Sun 25 Oct 2015, 12:17, Reply)

Saw a fantastically well restored Mk1 on Friday.
In orange.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 25 Oct 2015, 12:38, Reply)

I remember when I was growing up they were seen as a bit of a banger by then and you could pick them up for about £500 quid.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Sun 25 Oct 2015, 12:41, Reply)

No idea what this one would have been worth, probably a lot more than the list price when new though.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 25 Oct 2015, 12:44, Reply)

that said
I'm presuming that you are in the second worst bit of the North after possibly Barnsley
(Guy Debord cette mauvaise réputation..., Sun 25 Oct 2015, 11:41, Reply)

Newcastle are losing to Sunderland.
I wonder if DG will punch another horse to celebrate.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 25 Oct 2015, 13:11, Reply)