RIP
Okay so I'm at work right and I've had two cups of double shot espresso so like, I'm a ticking time bomb. I'm sitting at my desk, making ethernet cables like a fucking loser, and all the sudden it hits me. Like Satan himself found his way into my stomach. I stood up, practically launching my chair out from under me, just completely dropping what I was working on. I got to the bathroom in like four strides, two rooms away, I must have been covering 10+ feet with each step I swear to god. I finally get to the bathroom and just let it fucking rip. It sounds like fucking D Day in that bathroom. The decibels I was reaching could have been heard from space. Then, it happened. A shadow appears from under the door. Just for a moment, it pauses, and just in that same moment, I let loose the loudest fart I have ever experienced. Like, I could have killed someone. I nearly shattered the toilet with the vibration bouncing around in the bowl. The dinosaurs in the middle of the earth probably felt that. Then, the shadow moves on. And when I finally exit the bathroom, I see the owner of the shadow. Sitting at the table, my coworker Jason. Looking at me. Looking right into my soul. He knows. He will always know.
( $$ ✅, Tue 9 Jul 2019, 12:58, Reply)