DIY stuff n' timber n'stuff and hammers and nails and saws
Righty, I'm putting a woodburning stove into my freezing house. I need somewhere to keep logs in the front courtyard that I like to refer to as my garden. I want to build a log store. It needs to allow the air to circulate, but has to have a door and padlock because the pikey fuckers round my way will nick me wood otherwise.

Question: what's the best way to acquire timber in order to build said structure (which will neatly run along the metre high front wall of the garden)? I was thinking: find some old pallets and take them apart and use them. I hate the idea of forking out for real timber.

I voted for cocks, not BOAT.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 11:38, 19 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Should be able to find people who will give you pallets
Or try reclamation sort of places... Wood definitely isn't cheap at the moment! Or steal some pallets from somewhere, or even steal some wood.

A garden shed would probably be a quick easy solution.

Not sure why I'm answering this as you disobeyed BOAT.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 11:43, Reply)

I like the idea of stealing an entire shed.
I have access to a van and a balaclava.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 11:48, Reply)

unfortunately the pallets that you are likely to get for free will be made of shit wood
the decent ones tend to get paid for and reused as pallets

I suggest knocking down some fences and gates in the country and using those.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 11:51, Reply)

Cut down a fucking tree
you hippie.

;D
(tiger blood and Adonis DNA, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 11:54, Reply)

^ As Vipros said, steal them from various fences
and the various wooden structures that allow people to pass between fields, but not livestock.

Then you could store your logs in stile!

/coat
/scarf
/boat
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 11:54, Reply)

tree cutting
is too labour intensive.
I like the stealing idea.

Minus a billion points for the stile joke, Crow. No of-fence.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 11:58, Reply)

*unleashes carpet-spanging*
you all need it

stealing is the best option though. especially if it's from scum.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 12:01, Reply)

Use your feminine wiles
to get a man to do it for you, then you get the added bonus of a man with a chainsaw and baggy jeans hanging around your garden.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 12:01, Reply)

Steal a BOAT
to keep it in.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 12:02, Reply)

Hmm...
Just burn the pallets.

EDIT: I'm being serious.
( Cawl, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 12:05, Reply)

I know
burning the pallets is definitely an option. But I do need somewhere to store my logs.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 12:20, Reply)

You got any space next to the woodburner?
We stack our logs next to it, so it dries 'em too.
( Cawl, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 12:23, Reply)

I have a little space
and some shelves...

But I want santa (a.k.a. my parents) to get me a ton of wood for Christmas (I don't think the log merchants deliver less than that size) plus I'm going wood foraging so I need somewhere to season the stuff I find.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 12:27, Reply)

Hmmm...
You could get some cheap pressure-treated wood.

Or, failing that, steal a load of scaffolding boards, those things are fucking invincible.

(Or ask a builder. They replace them fairly regularly.)
( Cawl, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 12:42, Reply)

I found a few wooden crates on ebay
They look spot on. All I'd have to do would be attach a rudimentary lockable door. Unfortunately they are "collection only". From Lincolnshire.

I'm currently thinking wooden composting bin with homemade shingle roof.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 12:52, Reply)

Shame...
If you lived closer I'd sort you out with wood...

I mean, I work for a furniture factory :p
( Cawl, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 12:54, Reply)

A generous offer.
I would let you fondle my hatchet.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 12:59, Reply)

Am thinking
i could just buy this and stick a padlock on it:
www.selections.com/GF5267/wooden-composter/
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 13:36, Reply)

Fondle your hatchet?
I was gonna screw your planks...
( Cawl, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 13:57, Reply)