Doc Doc Doc Doc Doctor B3t... a
I dont suppose anyone has any medical experience? Im quite a hypochondriac but Ive been getting strange stomatch pains for the past few months now and now Im starting to get worried.

Basically its like a stabbing pain that lasts for 2-5mins. I usually get it about once every few weeks and theres nothing that triggers it, it just happens.

Usually Im ok with it and I just wait for it to go away, its just an inconvenience, but today it was quite crippling and now Im getting scared.

And obviously Id come here rather than actually going to a real doctor who knows what he's talking about...


EDIT: Actually if I think about it I can get them if Im sat down/have been eating. But only sometimes.
(i should have joined myspace, Mon 24 Nov 2008, 18:16, 15 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

For God's sake go to the doctor.
It's more than likely something completely simple and easy to treat but if it isn't then the longer you leave it, the harder it will be to fix.
( girlinthehole, Mon 24 Nov 2008, 18:53, Reply)

And you know
that long and hard is never a good thing.

Damnit, I just couldn't resist.
(GONEism, Mon 24 Nov 2008, 18:59, Reply)

Stop holding your farts in
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Mon 24 Nov 2008, 19:32, Reply)

Acid reflux.
It can't be that she's holding in her farts. It's well known that girls don't fart.

(But if you see the ankles of her panty hose starting to inflate, run.)
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Mon 24 Nov 2008, 21:57, Reply)

actually
if I release gas in any form the pain goes away for a while..
(i should have joined myspace, Mon 24 Nov 2008, 22:08, Reply)

Oooooh
Sounds like those yoghurt adverts that are supposed to stop bloating. Go and find that yoghurt.

Doctor: Sound medical advice
B3tans: Fart, buy yoghurt.
(GONEism, Mon 24 Nov 2008, 22:14, Reply)

Well,
Without a dubious physical examination, it sounds like colonitis.

I recommend going to the doctor.
( Cawl, Mon 24 Nov 2008, 22:36, Reply)

My mother
has just informed me she has IBS. Genetics may be at work here.

*must buy yoghurt*
(i should have joined myspace, Mon 24 Nov 2008, 22:49, Reply)

Ah!
See, as a biologist, I'm afraid I'm not really convinced of the effects of Magic Yoghurt...

But the placebo effect is a mighty thing.
( Cawl, Mon 24 Nov 2008, 22:54, Reply)

It sounds like
appendix AIDS
( Kroney, Mon 24 Nov 2008, 22:59, Reply)

If you eat two of those yoghurts a day for a week..
They have the same effect on your digestive system as consuming three 500g boxes of All Bran.

FACT

maybe
(i should have joined myspace, Mon 24 Nov 2008, 23:00, Reply)

To be fair,
Eating two "normal" yoghurts a day would loosen your guys right up too...

EDIT: I meant guts... But "guys" is an acceptable typo.
( Cawl, Mon 24 Nov 2008, 23:03, Reply)

I ate a magic yoghurt once
and I wound up running around the perimeter of Mars, racing two tiny litlle hedghogs.

Which is why you shouldn't buy out of date yoghurt.

From a man with syringes in his hair.

Who tells you not to buy his yoghurt.
(GONEism, Mon 24 Nov 2008, 23:04, Reply)

It sounds like you've got wind.
First time I got it, I thought I was dying. That was a loooong night.
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Tue 25 Nov 2008, 10:15, Reply)

^^
What the Empress says.

You've got wind.

Lean over and fart.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Tue 25 Nov 2008, 16:49, Reply)