No problem
I forgive you. I should have picked up on the irony really, nobody could actually admire that waste of flesh.

So.... fancy some man-loving?
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 10:22, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

YOU FUCKING DEVIANT SLAG!
HOW YOU CAN JUST RUB IT IN MY FACE LIKE THAT!

AT LEAST GO TO ANOTHER BOARD YOU FILTHY PIG!

THATS IT BERT, IT'S OVER BETWEEN US, I'M NOT JUST SOME CHEAP PIECE OF MEAT YOU CAN PICK UP AND PUT DOWN WHEN IT SUITS YOU!

*bursts into tears*

*runs out crying*
(Bazongaloid, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 10:25, Reply)

Oh, Al...don't be like that...

Forgive him.

Think of the 'Make-up sex'
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Fri 12 Dec 2008, 10:30, Reply)

I can't do that Herr Lake
Things haven't been right for a while now. He's off with other men all the time. I don't think his heart is really into it.

*drinks cheap white wine*

*smears mascara all over face*
(Bazongaloid, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 10:37, Reply)

I can't help it al
I'm a slut, but you'll be back, you always come back.

You'll be crying on my doorstep wearing your suspender belt and rain coat, on your knees, begging to feel my cock between your cheeks again, and you know I'll always be happy to oblige, until the morning, when I cast you out into the cold streets again without so much as a weetobix in your belly, and prepare myself for my next victim.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 10:47, Reply)

Right, that's got rid of him
Now, Bert, kneel down and undo Porky's fly

*flicks open knife*

Right now, Bert, please.
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 10:36, Reply)

You mean like this?
*kneels*

*unzips fly*

*opens mouth*

*moves slowly forward*

*gobbles hungrily*
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 10:48, Reply)

Wow. I didn't need the knife, did I!
I do apologise Sir, I had no idea you were so accomodating. Such skills, such enthusiasm!

Queue behind me, I'm feeling heavy :-)
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 10:56, Reply)

No problem, Mr
I aim to please, and you should always aim for the eyes, that's where I like it best.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 10:58, Reply)

Oh Bert!!
You truly are a miracle worker. "Rise Lazarus" he said. So I picked up my pallyass.....
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Fri 12 Dec 2008, 11:26, Reply)