What's the opposite to 'every cloud has a silver lining'?
Mrs SLVA has a pleasing habit of rubbing and stroking my todger until I reach full tumesence then she considers her work done and stops. Ten minutes later she'll start again. It's quite nice when we're cuddled up on the sofa. It's not so nice when she does it as we're parking up in Asda carpark and I'm about to get out the car and walk into the shop. Especially when wearing jogging-bottoms.

However, we were sitting on the sofa last night, I was catching up on some Sky+, she's reading when she reaches over and starts rubbing. I'm rather contented as she hasn't stopped. Then she unfastens my jeans, gets me out and I get a free handjob. Woo-hoo!

But then I start getting close. I'm getting close to red-lining. So I tell her to slow down and pace herself. I want to savour this. But no. She goes really fast but it cannae take any more cap'n and within 10 seconds, the valve fails and I pop my cork.

"Why are you complaining?" I hear you ask. I got man-lard all up my new shirt. Fucksocks
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Mon 29 Dec 2008, 15:17, 7 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

ha ha ha ha
this is a classic.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 29 Dec 2008, 15:17, Reply)

Asuming your not lying or trying to be funny
why would you want to tell the internets this?

edit: I wouldn't want to boast to anyone that my sister had tugged me off.
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 29 Dec 2008, 15:30, Reply)

but it will wash out...
why didn't she just give you a blow job?
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 29 Dec 2008, 15:34, Reply)

Because then, he'd have nothing to post on QOTW.

(__, Mon 29 Dec 2008, 15:37, Reply)

how the fuck do you do that?
over there?
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 29 Dec 2008, 15:38, Reply)

eh?
a: I don't have a sister

b: I had my xmas blowjob last week

c: do what over where?
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Mon 29 Dec 2008, 16:37, Reply)

christmas blow job?
oh no no no.
what has the world come to?
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 29 Dec 2008, 16:46, Reply)