Increasing my appeal the fairer sex.
I bought a new jacket and had a haircut. Anything else I should add to the list before I head out into the abyss.
(The Archduke of South London I'm in your Girlfriend eating her organs, Fri 9 Jan 2009, 16:19, 34 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Personality holocaust.

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 9 Jan 2009, 16:22, Reply)

Have you washed behind your ears?
Girls notice these things.
( girlinthehole, Fri 9 Jan 2009, 16:23, Reply)

ears balls
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 9 Jan 2009, 16:24, Reply)

Depends...
As long as it's not one of those silly black drummer-jackets with gold trim, and a massive asymmetrical fringe...

Are your shoes clean?
( Cawl, Fri 9 Jan 2009, 16:25, Reply)

Waxy deposits have been discharged
discharges have been discharged. Nails filed. Brain defiled. Its all systems go.
(The Archduke of South London I'm in your Girlfriend eating her organs, Fri 9 Jan 2009, 16:25, Reply)

cologne
great smelling cologne can make a girl wobbly in the knees
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 9 Jan 2009, 16:26, Reply)

I'd suggest
Cool Water, or Armani Mania, some women seem to like those.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 9 Jan 2009, 16:27, Reply)

@ koal
Its a jacket made of lambs leather. He said I should avoid the mutton dressed as lamb.
(The Archduke of South London I'm in your Girlfriend eating her organs, Fri 9 Jan 2009, 16:27, Reply)

A cheeky grin and a twinkle in your eye.
Must have those for a sure win.
( girlinthehole, Fri 9 Jan 2009, 16:28, Reply)

cologne
I'm liking my JPG or Cool Water summer edition.
(The Archduke of South London I'm in your Girlfriend eating her organs, Fri 9 Jan 2009, 16:28, Reply)

Hmmm...
What Burt said.
Clean equipment.

Oh, and don't forget your wallet.
( Cawl, Fri 9 Jan 2009, 16:28, Reply)

Open with this line:
It's ok to talk to me, I'm off the register now, honest.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 9 Jan 2009, 16:29, Reply)

cheeky grin - check!
I have this built in as a standard feature. At school I was given extra canings cos of my grin. That really validated it for me.
(The Archduke of South London I'm in your Girlfriend eating her organs, Fri 9 Jan 2009, 16:29, Reply)

Leather jackets are great.
I'm wearing one right now.
And nothing else.*




*Apart from jeans, a shirt, a tie and the usual peripherals.
( Cawl, Fri 9 Jan 2009, 16:30, Reply)

There is also the law of condoms - jaa?
If you carry one in your wallet you get no action. I learnt this the hard way from the age of 13 until 18. And if you do it's bound to fall out at the bar when you buying a drink.
(The Archduke of South London I'm in your Girlfriend eating her organs, Fri 9 Jan 2009, 16:33, Reply)

Er...
I meant wallet as in:

1) Attempt to get some action
2) Fail
3) Get very drunk*
4) Pay for a hooker*

*Steps that require wallet.
( Cawl, Fri 9 Jan 2009, 16:35, Reply)

@ kaol
This is my first leather jacket. Its a much bigger step from owning leather shoes to owning a leather jacket than I though it was.
(The Archduke of South London I'm in your Girlfriend eating her organs, Fri 9 Jan 2009, 16:35, Reply)

Keep it in the band of your fishnets, like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman.
She could hold like 4 at a time!
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 9 Jan 2009, 16:35, Reply)

How deep are your pockets?
Always pay for dinner on the first date.
And make sure it's a half-decent restaurant.
Any skinflinterry on your behalf will result in nada poontang.

Get your chivalry on - hold doors, pull out chair, pay her a compliment the moment you see her.

It doesnt hurt to bone up on the menu/wine list of the restaurant you're taking her too.
A little knowledge is useful if you can pull it off without seeming a ponce.

EDIT: Tip well!

Dont go for the kill on the first date - a good night peck on the cheek could mean there's more to come.


Hope I'm not jumping the gun here:

Rudimentaries include clean undies but matching socks and a half-decent looking shirt bear mentioning.

Ask a lady friend or a sister or even an aunt how you look? They should see you right.

EDIT 2: Good shoes are paramount.

rafter
baz
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Fri 9 Jan 2009, 16:39, Reply)

Pay for a hooker?
wtf? I thought thats why the whole "dating" scene existed. Idle chat to complete strangers followed by awkward drunken sex and the promise of a call sometime in the next week.
(The Archduke of South London I'm in your Girlfriend eating her organs, Fri 9 Jan 2009, 16:40, Reply)

Don't worry,
You can kill 'em after and get your money back.

Anyway, have fun, I'm off to get a train. A weekend in London for me *grins*
( Cawl, Fri 9 Jan 2009, 16:44, Reply)

Jeez Baz,
Thats sounds like a lot of hard work. What if she sucks and I have to not only pay for her dinner but also sit through her incessant babble for an hour or two.

I was thinking more along the lines of going to a movie. If things go well I'll stick my erect penis through the bottom of the popcorn box and she'll cop a feel. Subtle yet effective don't you think?
(The Archduke of South London I'm in your Girlfriend eating her organs, Fri 9 Jan 2009, 16:45, Reply)

Dude, these things only need doing if you want to get some
If she's not worth it, then don't.

At the same time, you may as well try to make the most of it given you are as you say stuck with her for a couple of hours.

EDIT: The cinema is for children to stick their hands down one anothers track suits.
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Fri 9 Jan 2009, 16:46, Reply)

Are you completed inebriated? I find that helps...
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Fri 9 Jan 2009, 16:46, Reply)

@baz
my ex did terrible things to me with her hands and mouth as I watched Wall-E. It was dreadful.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 9 Jan 2009, 16:51, Reply)

@bert
I've seen that too - it truly is awful!
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Fri 9 Jan 2009, 16:53, Reply)

Gah!
This was so much easier when I was 20. Now I'm at that age where I meet woman who size me up as future husband material...pants to that.
(The Archduke of South London I'm in your Girlfriend eating her organs, Fri 9 Jan 2009, 16:54, Reply)

You saw my ex
pulling me off?
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 9 Jan 2009, 16:55, Reply)

@bert
pshah! You shameless exhibitionist - dont even deny it!
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Fri 9 Jan 2009, 16:56, Reply)

Def
shoes. No aftershave or strong smelling things.But girls notice shoes. And don't carry a plastic bag. No one in the history of the world got laid carrying a plastic bag.
( I have run out of coke is a little sweaty, Fri 9 Jan 2009, 17:14, Reply)

For two days before you go out with her
abstain from drinking, don't smoke and eat regular healthy meals and drink a lot of water.

What this will do is help to keep you from smelling of odd foods or old smoke, farting or having halitosis from dehydration.

Good hygiene works wonders.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Fri 9 Jan 2009, 20:37, Reply)

Regarding something said above..
..I always carry condoms on principle. But perhaps they're why I haven't got laid for a year almost to the day? I guess, evolution wise, we are programmed to reproduce, so the subconcious rejects condoms and so they should be introduced while the object of affection is already hooked.. or maybe I really need to get laid and stop worrying..

I'll continue to carry condoms, on principle.
(raymond "three griddle pans" luxury yacht lovin' the christmas action, Fri 9 Jan 2009, 20:54, Reply)

a female friend
you don't want to look like a mentalist single bloke
( mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Sat 10 Jan 2009, 13:37, Reply)

Get yourself removed from...
...the sex offenders list.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Mon 12 Jan 2009, 16:51, Reply)