Little Bastards!
.
I saw something take-off from my arm and clapped and splattered the bastard. It was a mosquito that had just finished feeding on me. The reason I managed to hit it was that it was so swollen with blood that it had the areo-dynamic properties of Fern Britton.

When it splattered it left a blood clot on my hand the size of a ten pence piece.

Just checked my arm and I've been bitten three times. I'm still not fully acclimatised to these twats and the lumps are visibly growing.

Still - it's not as bad as last year when each bite looked like I had a golf ball burried under my skin.

And don't get me started on the bush flies....

Just thought I'd share.

Cheers
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Tue 3 Feb 2009, 10:38, 10 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

mozzies
drive me fucking mental when abroad. 100% DEET. Thats the answer. Or taking antihistamines apparently. Or not drinking dairy. However, chemical warfare is recommended.
( I have run out of coke is a little sweaty, Tue 3 Feb 2009, 10:39, Reply)

apparently
vicks vaporub keeps the little feckers away

but everyone will ask you how your cold is.

don't know which is more annoying
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Tue 3 Feb 2009, 10:49, Reply)

I bet flies buzzing around your bush
is pretty bad
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 3 Feb 2009, 10:50, Reply)

Just Been
outside again and there's fucking squadrons of the fucker's out there.

And I found out something weird this week. When the temperature reaches 38c flies don't fly. They hide until it gets cooler.

We've just had the biggest heatwave in Melbourne since records began. Three days of over 43c. One night, at 1am, it was still 38.

Me and the Mrs bought two fuck-off portable air-con units after the first day. They saved my life.

Cheers
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Tue 3 Feb 2009, 11:03, Reply)

Their site seems to be down at the moment
but I can highly recommend Burt's Bees insect repellent. It's herbal, not DEET, so it doesn't smell strongly and won't get into your bloodstream, but it's very effective. It has a light herbal scent, rather than the effeminate smell of Avon's Skin So Soft.

Put it this way: it keeps away Adirondack blackflies and deerflies. Skeeters don't stand a chance.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Tue 3 Feb 2009, 11:38, Reply)

Sorry Loon
This is Australia.

I read somewhere that American pilots, who got into trouble over Australia, were advised not to try and eject but to go in and crash and burn with with their plane.

On the grounds that:

"Everything in Australia will either try and beat you, eat you or poison you"

Must have met my neighbours then...

Cheers
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Tue 3 Feb 2009, 11:48, Reply)

bloody mozzies
I still have the marks from an elite squadron of Greek fuckers from 2 years ago.

Two bloody years!
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 3 Feb 2009, 12:10, Reply)

I speak with authority.
Mozzies are bastards. Its a fact.

I once calculated exactly how much blood I lost over the years and it was about 15 litres. BASTARDS. plus the itch, risk of diesease etc. and for me the "whine". that fekin noise wakes me from the deepest slumber.

The best remedy to not being bitten is to be near someone that the mozzies prefer to bite. Harsh I know.

Other than that you're pretty screwed.

Diet has a lot to do with how mossies find you thru your scent- so stay away from bananas, but eat lots of wheatgerm.

If you pee on a rag, then spray the rag with insecticide, then leave rag at far end of bedroom then at least you get a little respite when sleeping.
and shaving faom that contains anti-histamine is soothing when smeared over irritable bites.

I once worked in a project that that involved mass spraying of mosquitocides which we used to do in the evenng. About an hour later, one could see dead /dying mossies on the floor to a depth off about a centimeter.

I've never been happier!!!!
(bugboybeast, Tue 3 Feb 2009, 12:40, Reply)

Ah, but
you've never experienced Adirondack blackflies and deerflies. They're the stuff of legends.

www.maykuth.com/Archives/flies93.htm is a good description of them. www.thriftyfun.com/tf598029.tip.html is another good one.

And www.4peaks.com/fklycrit.htm gives a good overview of what I grew up with.

Trust me on this one. Australian bugs are nothing compared to this. There was a very good reason that I never wore shorts until I was in my 30s.

And the one and only thing that will keep them all at bay that I have ever found is Burt's Bees.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Tue 3 Feb 2009, 13:27, Reply)

Don't know how true this is
But someone told me that a mossie can't stop drinking all the time it's got it's teeth in you.

It also can't withdraw from tense muscle.

The upshot is that if you find one having a good ol drink from, say, your bicep, tense up your arm and wait and watch it explode.
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Tue 3 Feb 2009, 13:38, Reply)