I'm on a half day today
so I plan to get my hair cut as it's looking a bit mop-like at the moment, write some essays which I'll finish at the weekend and watch some films.

Then this evening I'm heading back to work to teach owners how to look after their puppies.

What do you all have planned for this afternoon?
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 3 Feb 2009, 13:13, 69 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Have a wank!
/answer to everything

Actually, I get to knock-off early today and visit my boss's brother's house to try in install his printer. I just know they're going to expect me to take my shoes off, which is fair enough... except today I'm wearing my tough, waterproof rock-solid walking boots.

Which stink :(
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 3 Feb 2009, 13:25, Reply)

pics
or it didn't happen.

So that's a pic of (a) your hair (b) your essay (c) you watching some films but most importantly (d) puppies!
( djtrialprice, Tue 3 Feb 2009, 13:31, Reply)

Hey Becks
I'm going to moan in pain when the anaesthetic in my face wears off and I inspect the big gap in the back of my mouth where my dead tooth used to be:S
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 3 Feb 2009, 13:31, Reply)

^^What djtrialprice said
Pics of your puppies!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 3 Feb 2009, 13:32, Reply)

BK
I had an extraction a couple of years ago. It hurt so much in the days leading up to it that I REALLY enjoyed the extraction itself :)
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 3 Feb 2009, 13:34, Reply)

Sorry no pics
client confidentiality and all that. Or did you mean those puppies...?
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 3 Feb 2009, 13:38, Reply)

@ No3l
This one was just irritating.

The roots went so deep and it was already broken, he had to bust it out in chunks.

With it being numbed, I could still feel the pressure and hear the crunch so psychosomatically, I seem to have convinced my brain that it should hurt.

I was drenched in sweat and all of the shaky after it. I was a right pussy to be honest!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 3 Feb 2009, 13:39, Reply)

@BK
that's cos they have to push it in to break the root, not yank on it like a big yanking thing.

you probably didn't need to know that right now.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Tue 3 Feb 2009, 13:40, Reply)

well if there are no privacy complications
with the other puppies then those will be greatly received *rubs hands*
( djtrialprice, Tue 3 Feb 2009, 13:45, Reply)

I love the way you say
a big yanky thing.

Gets me all hot and bothered.

Everyone should watch Jason X as it is a very funny "so bad it's actually still bad, but fun none the less sort of film".
(Bazongaloid, Tue 3 Feb 2009, 13:45, Reply)

I had a tooth extracted a few years back
after numerous dental techniques had failed to cure a chronic abscess. Wasn't really painful at all. I was pleasantly surprised.

Sure, it ached a bit after the anaesthetic wore off, but it was just a dull soreness, not an acute "ouch" type of pain.

And after a week it was all healed again. I still stick my tongue in the gap where it was though, about 5 years on.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 3 Feb 2009, 13:51, Reply)

Feeelthy boy
and no.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 3 Feb 2009, 13:54, Reply)

@ K2
The thing to remember about me is that I'm soft as shite though.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 3 Feb 2009, 14:02, Reply)

I'm going to print your profile pic
and knock one out over it in the lab room.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 3 Feb 2009, 14:03, Reply)

bah
that's sooooo 2008
( djtrialprice, Tue 3 Feb 2009, 14:06, Reply)

dj
I'm going to wank over pictures of you too.

Only I don't have any, and I have no idea what you look like. So I'm going to draw a picture of Terry Wogan with red crayons and spunk all over it.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 3 Feb 2009, 14:08, Reply)

This afternoon
I'm playing with pictures of a hotel room.
So I can find out which direction the wood grain is running...

And I'm booking bus tickets for my trip to Wales at the weekend :D
( Cawl, Tue 3 Feb 2009, 14:09, Reply)

you have met me you know
I am a bit like the Wogan-meister but even more wooden ;) if such a thing is possible.

Have you seen that piss poor quiz show he's hosting these days?
( djtrialprice, Tue 3 Feb 2009, 14:13, Reply)

Wogan's Run?
The best thing about it is the title, and his hair.

Did we meet at the last bash?
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 3 Feb 2009, 14:14, Reply)

I could have sworn I wrote a reply to this
about how I was going to sharpen a broom handle and then go round to my neighbours and impale them on it because they are still fucking knocking away at the wall.

Recently I've been having cock-all luck with electrical things. Maybe now the interweb is also borked.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Tue 3 Feb 2009, 14:14, Reply)

You should check out these puppies.

(Bazongaloid, Tue 3 Feb 2009, 14:15, Reply)

I am
so hard right now
( djtrialprice, Tue 3 Feb 2009, 14:22, Reply)

we met at
beckyletters and halfy's birthday bash in, hmmmm, that would have been in about November I think. I have long wavy hair and look like a younger, redder, jizm covered version of Terry Wogan.
( djtrialprice, Tue 3 Feb 2009, 14:17, Reply)

make sure you laminate it this time Bert
Ooh cute puppy indeed :)
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 3 Feb 2009, 14:17, Reply)

*stares blankly at DJ*
Oh, hold on, were you the one who was coming on to Becky all night? I don't think we spoke, did we?

That's a lovely picture, even though MM is in it. I hate her, she's rubbish.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 3 Feb 2009, 14:20, Reply)

You definitely met him
at the night where I french kissed you.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 3 Feb 2009, 14:20, Reply)

He was the one
pretending to be english even though he secretly despises us all.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 3 Feb 2009, 14:21, Reply)

I love you al
your post yesterday beautifully captured all my personal neuroses I have about my nationality - it was quite a work of art.

@bert - dammit, I was too busy making sure to mop up the drooling that I wasn't keeping the mad staring in check.
( djtrialprice, Tue 3 Feb 2009, 14:25, Reply)

I'm confused
So you're some sort of foreign sex pest? Were you the one I was referring to?

Why doesn't my brain work? I think I've caught MM's mind AIDs
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 3 Feb 2009, 14:49, Reply)

I am Scottish
but sound like I'm from the south of England.

I do remember chatting to becky a few times during the evening but don't think I was overly lecherous at any point. At least I hope not.
( djtrialprice, Tue 3 Feb 2009, 14:57, Reply)

c'mon
it was a bash with birthdays involved...everyone was overtly lecherous :)
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 3 Feb 2009, 15:02, Reply)

I'm sure you weren't being lecherous
I'm just very possessive over women who hate me on the internet.

We didn't talk, or at least not much. This must be rectified, tell me things. Now.

I wasn't lecherous at that one, I was sober. I did feel as though I'd been gangraped.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 3 Feb 2009, 15:03, Reply)

That explains the motorboating then
and why you ran away afterwards
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 3 Feb 2009, 15:12, Reply)

Oh yeah
that wasn't lecherous, it was humourous motorboating.

I ran away because nobody offered me a place to sleep :C
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 3 Feb 2009, 15:15, Reply)

That's because
every other time I've offered you somewhere to sleep you didn't turn up or you hogged the whole bed!
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 3 Feb 2009, 15:19, Reply)

Yeah Bert!
You not turn upping whole bed hogger you!
(Bazongaloid, Tue 3 Feb 2009, 15:27, Reply)

Teehee
That's at least 50% true.

It's not my fault you don't like to snuggle though, i'm just an affectionate guy.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 3 Feb 2009, 15:32, Reply)

I've only met Becky once
And I wasn't lecherous!

while she was looking anyway...
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 3 Feb 2009, 15:37, Reply)

You should have been
she loves it.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 3 Feb 2009, 15:39, Reply)

I've only met Lab once
And I was as lecherous as humanly possible.

Still didn't get a shag though.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 3 Feb 2009, 15:40, Reply)

In that case
I'll do it next time.

I trust you wouldn't say such a thing to get me hurt, Bert.

Al, all you have to do is ask!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 3 Feb 2009, 15:40, Reply)

Haha, not loving lecherous all the time
sometimes it's quite entertaining though.

Lab, you were most gentlemanlike and I still have the refridgerator appendage you gave me.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 3 Feb 2009, 15:44, Reply)

I'll
refrigerator your appendage becky.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 3 Feb 2009, 15:45, Reply)

I'll cool your cucumber
I'll defrost all over your kitchen floor. Yeah.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 3 Feb 2009, 15:47, Reply)

Becky
I am always a gentleman, mostly because i'm too shy to be the letch cad.

The shyness fades with alcohol though.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 3 Feb 2009, 15:48, Reply)

That's alright
It's easy to mop the kitchen floor.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 3 Feb 2009, 15:48, Reply)

Well...
I've met Becky lots of times.
And I've been nothing but a gentleman in my intentions towards her.

I think there must be something wrong with me :|
( Cawl, Tue 3 Feb 2009, 15:49, Reply)

There certainly is Kaol
You tongue the guys, but ignore the girls?
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 3 Feb 2009, 15:50, Reply)

Yeah...
*shrugs*

Guys are less likely to call the police.
( Cawl, Tue 3 Feb 2009, 15:52, Reply)

I think the fact that we know
that becky is a ninja death machine, may have something to do with our polite behaviour.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 3 Feb 2009, 15:52, Reply)

She's really not
she was kind enough to put up with me for the night last year. She's a kitten really.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 3 Feb 2009, 15:58, Reply)

Bah, I could take Becky!
Disclaimer: Out for a nice drink in a perfectly neutral setting, with no bedroom-desires expressed nor expected.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 3 Feb 2009, 15:59, Reply)

Hahahahahahaha
to all of the above posts :)

Aside from Lab's as he's a sweetie. *lobs kitten*
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 3 Feb 2009, 16:00, Reply)

a sex kitten maybe Bert.
Or possibly one of my new boot kittens.

I think I may need to replace them more often than more normal shoes. I'm nearly through the bottom of one already.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 3 Feb 2009, 16:03, Reply)

*catches the kitten on his cock*
Yeah!! Not so fluffy now, am I?!

*puts his Libyan Catching Cockerel back in it's box and fusses the kitten*
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 3 Feb 2009, 16:05, Reply)

That's a fine cock you have there Lab.
Did you breed it yourself?
(Bazongaloid, Tue 3 Feb 2009, 16:05, Reply)

aaaaaaargh, meetings
I need another bash. More drinking, more lecherousnessness ahoy!
( djtrialprice, Tue 3 Feb 2009, 16:06, Reply)

You have boot kittens Al?
Indeed a mighty fine looking cock you have Lab :) I'm told it's admired by all who've felt it's rumbly quiff.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 3 Feb 2009, 16:10, Reply)

Thanks for noticing Al
Actually, I inherited it from my Nan. She was a Master Cocksmith in her day, always had a keen eye for the best cocks in the land.

Quincy, the Libyan Catching Cockerel, was her favourite, due mainly to his size and ebony sheen.

Becky, I don't mind if you'd like to stroke my cock, he doesn't bite.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 3 Feb 2009, 16:10, Reply)

Mmm...ebony sheen...marvels a bit
Good, I don't like bitey cocks.

*strokes*

*strokes more*

Dammit, your cock just puked on me. I didn't realise they had an involuntary regurgitation mechanism.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 3 Feb 2009, 16:12, Reply)

So sorry Becky!
I should have warned you, he gets rather anxious around beautiful ladies, and often quivers at their touch. Sadly, he gets carried away sometimes, and does a little sick.

It's good for the skin though.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 3 Feb 2009, 16:14, Reply)

*rubs cock puke into hands*
smells a bit rancid though, so I think I'll stick to cocoa butter for my moisturising needs.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 3 Feb 2009, 16:15, Reply)

It's rich in protein too
though it tastes a bit salty.

I've heard if you feed it pineapple it tastes sweeter?
(Bazongaloid, Tue 3 Feb 2009, 16:15, Reply)

It's true
I fed an ex pineapple once and he tasted a lot sweeter :)
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 3 Feb 2009, 16:18, Reply)

It's rather a delicacy, I understand
In fact, fledgling Cocksmiths looking to earn favour amongst their superiors would often show how much they could swallow, or orally trade between themselves.

Edit: I always doubted that, but I'll take your word for it.

Al, I said I'd take HER word for it, I do not need empirical testing!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 3 Feb 2009, 16:18, Reply)

And with that lovely thought
I'm leaving you to go have a nap before puppy school. Mmm...pineapple flavour manjuice...:)
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 3 Feb 2009, 16:30, Reply)

Mmm
Juicy pineapple-flavoured puppies.
Man.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 3 Feb 2009, 16:31, Reply)

Becky has pineapple flavoured puppies?
wow.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 3 Feb 2009, 16:35, Reply)

Of course she does
Here they are.


(Bazongaloid, Tue 3 Feb 2009, 16:40, Reply)