Bollocks
It looks like I'm car-less for the moment.

Stopped for a red light on my way home from work. The Volvo lorry behind me didn't...

Got to get it confirmed by the insurance co, but I reckon my car's almost certainly a write off. Words can't describe how utterly pissed off I am at the moment.
( rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Wed 11 Feb 2009, 20:37, 19 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

This is why I don't drive.


Although the majority of people take great glee in informing me of my lack of license. Fuck them I say!
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Wed 11 Feb 2009, 20:39, Reply)

Did you swear - a lot?
I've had two cars demolished by stoopid people but look on the bright side.

Feign a stiff neck, ring Esther Rantzen or the bloke who was on The Bill and you'll be in for a big, fee's free win for a whiplash injury.

I made £3750 off my two accidents and that was 1990 and 1994. Although the first one really did hurt a lot.

Edit - Rubberduck - just looked at your profile out of curiosity. The first car I lost was a Dolomite Sprint. Still the best car I've ever owned. The second was a Manta GTE which went as fast as the fuel gauge went down. No great loss.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Wed 11 Feb 2009, 20:44, Reply)

Disappointed
First one... fair play.

I don't know the story of the second accident... But making money off accidents is, unless completely justified, cunty. It just contributes to the knee-jerk compensation culture that's helping turn this place into Little America.

Obviously, if you lost a few weeks of work/had trouble paying your mortgage/broke up a marriage because of accident #2, I formally withdraw all accusations of cuntyness.

What were you driving, rubberduck?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 11 Feb 2009, 20:49, Reply)

There were indeed a few choice words
I'm mostly angry about the fact it looks almost certain to be a write-off, and it's a car I spent 7 months looking for in the first place to find the right model.

Fair enough, the insurance people can give me the money for it, but it'll take a hell of a long time to find its replacement.

Edit: Noel - It's my Jaguar S-Type R. A rare variant of a not-exactly common car, with some very nice (and rare) factory options chosen when it was new. Finding it was a bloody nightmare.
( rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Wed 11 Feb 2009, 20:50, Reply)

look on the bright side old chum
you got smashed up by a lorry and walked away

it's only a vehicle, and although it's fucking inconvenient, it won't affect your no claims

short term cunt, long term no big deal
( mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Wed 11 Feb 2009, 20:51, Reply)

Have...
...a few beers, put on some tunes, have a spliff and a wank. Feel better? You fucking should - you could have been killed you daft sod.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Wed 11 Feb 2009, 20:54, Reply)

@No3L
I worked in insurance from 1988 until 2002.

I saw it as the bonus that my employers would'nt pay me.

Seedy claims were fair game, and as I moved up the ladder what I did in 1994 was child's play.

I got out of it because of the idiocy that the compensation culture brought about.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Wed 11 Feb 2009, 20:55, Reply)

Oh...
...and don't watch the footy. It could be depressing.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Wed 11 Feb 2009, 20:56, Reply)

Even though you may not feel it today
You'll probably feel whiplash tomorrow. That's how it was for me when daft old biddy drove into the back of me at 30mph.

My neck was locked up for a week and my wrists and forearms had shooting pains for about that long. I got £1100 medical compensation.

Nowadays they recommend constant movement of the neck rather than a neck brace.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 11 Feb 2009, 20:56, Reply)

Strangely I don't hurt right now
But looking at the car it must have been a hell of a shunt. It was enough to set off the seat airbags too.

I'm just glad nobody was riding in the boot :)
( rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Wed 11 Feb 2009, 20:58, Reply)

This fuckin' sucks.
Sorry to hear it mate, but I'm really glad you're ok.
( Cawl, Wed 11 Feb 2009, 21:02, Reply)

But
After the first one I went to the scrapper where my Dolly Sprint had been taken.

Now, to me a car is a car is a car - but I really loved that one.

I still have the steering wheel and the plate - SEA921W - in my dad's garage.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Wed 11 Feb 2009, 21:04, Reply)

Gah Ducky, that sucks
:(
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Wed 11 Feb 2009, 21:07, Reply)

ducky... suuucks!
And Disappointed - no offence intended. Good to see you got out :)
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 11 Feb 2009, 21:14, Reply)

No3L
No offence taken.

The insurance/legal litigation industry - and it is an industry now - is a fucking joke.

It's computer driven. If Rubberduck makes a claim for whiplash some McDonalds reject will type his details into a programme which will spit out what he ought to be awarded.

If you ring the Esther Rancid sponsored folk, or similar, your "Specialist accident claims solicitor" will actually be another McDonalds reject using pretty much the same software but set with slightly different parameters.

There WILL be a qualified solicitor on the premises to comply with Law Society regulations but the burgerflipper/solicitor ratio will be something like 200:1.

Until about 2001 I loved my job. And it made me a lot of money.

Now it's an absolute travesty.

I'm venting.

Vent vent vent.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Wed 11 Feb 2009, 21:27, Reply)

That's a disturbing
and somewhat amusing write-up. I wonder what the personal-space-invading-toothed bint would think of that viewpoint.

Probably nothing if it pays for her spray-tan and pocket rocket addictions.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 11 Feb 2009, 21:35, Reply)

Awww Duckie :(
*hugs* That sucks I know how much you loved your silly car :p Start scouring Autrotrader now!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 11 Feb 2009, 22:29, Reply)

Awww bugger
Sorry to hear that man. The main thing is that you're in once piece - which probably feels like scant consolation I know, but a car can always be replaced.

I'm kind of looking forward to hearing about what you replace the Shaguar with...
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 12 Feb 2009, 10:01, Reply)

Look on the bright side
My mum did it the other way round (went into the back of a lorry) and broke her neck. Still, she was driving a 2CV and was apparently crap at it.
( gareth_alien will be human again at, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 16:13, Reply)