Important decision: help needed
Morning all, it's in the reply.
( djtrialprice, Mon 23 Feb 2009, 10:01, 15 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Hi guys, I've got a bit of a delicate situation and I need your advice. At a works night out a couple of years ago everyone was getting drunk and two of the nicest people in the office – normally really insular, shy people – got completely trashed and then sucked face for a few hours. The next day we were ready to wind them up and generally make things uncomfortable for the both of them but they were just so happy neither of them cared. Turns out they’d been friends for a good while both tentatively taking small steps to reveal how much they cared for each other and the office party was the catalyst for all their feelings to come out.

The whirlwind romance continued and within 6 months they were living together and at the same office party a year later they announced their engagement awwww. The office has been really boring for a while now as the pair of them took a sabbatical to travel the world together before trying for a family. Unfortunately for these mad bunnies they couldn’t bloody wait as we got news from some place north of the Sahara that he had knocked her up and they’d have to cut their trip a little short.

This is where the story starts to get a bit grim. I don’t know the full details but somewhere out in Africa she got a fever and they just couldn’t get proper medical attention in time and she died. The guy is absolutely inconsolable and we don’t know if/when he’s coming back to work.

As one of the code monkey’s in the office he trusted me to login to his computer and make a backup of all his work emails. He’s also given me his deceased love’s password and asked me to put her emails onto a DVD too (apparently their relationship started with lots of emotional and sexually charged emails during work hours as well, shocking *tsk tsk*).

Shamefully I couldn’t resist having a quick peak and instantly I regretted it. Turns out when they started going out she was seeing this other guy for a clear month or so and was trying to make up her mind which one to settle for. The decision was made for her when the other guy dumped her. I know it was quite a while ago and these two were completely in love so it shouldn’t matter about this little secret but I know it’s going to devastate my friend and I can just see him crying and dribbling from the nose all over my shirt. So b3tans, I need your help with what I’m going to do. If he’s going to get snot all over me, which colour shirt would be best to wear while I slap him silly and tell him to man the fuck up?

Thank you all you beautiful people x
( djtrialprice, Mon 23 Feb 2009, 10:01, Reply)

I vote you wear a birthday shirt
Thought you were going to ask whether or not you should delete the offending emails.

The shirt question was more interesting though.
( Captain V, Mon 23 Feb 2009, 10:24, Reply)

In the short term,
A black shirt.
But that'll end up with white marks.

I guess that human skin is a wipe-clean surface, and he might be missing out on flesh-to-flesh contact... So my vote is topless.

EDIT: Damn you, Cap'n!
( Cawl, Mon 23 Feb 2009, 10:27, Reply)

I think you should wear a ladies blouse.
He'll be laughing so much it won't matter what you tell him.
( girlinthehole, Mon 23 Feb 2009, 10:29, Reply)

But
trial's awareness of his friend's ignorance could easily hurt trial and if it ever came out in a drunken moment the fallout would likely be far worse than him knowing the truth from the start.

I've withheld information of a similar nature before and it kills me whenever I think about it. It's not a nice burden to carry although I feel it was the right thing to do but that's because of an element of guilt.

As trial is a bystander here I reckon passing on the information is the right thing to do.
( Captain V, Mon 23 Feb 2009, 10:33, Reply)

She chose him in the end anyway
so it shouldn't matter.

Anyway, wear a shirt crafted from tissues or kitchen roll. That'll soak up any snot-type emissions and will help your armpits stay fresh too.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 23 Feb 2009, 10:49, Reply)

everybody gets
that I made this story up so I could make a cheap 'man the fuck up' joke, right? my favourite new QOTW/OT meme (and good advice to boot)

"One ticket to Hull please my good man."
( djtrialprice, Mon 23 Feb 2009, 10:51, Reply)

just got an email from sister
She didn't realise I was joking. Oooops.
( djtrialprice, Mon 23 Feb 2009, 11:00, Reply)

I thought
You just wanted fashion advice but were too scared to ask outright.

Man the fuck up!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 23 Feb 2009, 11:01, Reply)

sorry badger
\mans-up

I want to know how to look teh ubersexi. What should I wear?
( djtrialprice, Mon 23 Feb 2009, 11:06, Reply)

Oh yes
of course I knew that what do you take me for some kind of completely gullible prick?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 23 Feb 2009, 11:14, Reply)

WEL
I'M THICK!

Fell for it D:

So wear a tartan shirt, everybody loves tartan.
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Mon 23 Feb 2009, 11:25, Reply)

Well DJ
Instead of conforming with the "norm" I recommend a black PVC corset
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 23 Feb 2009, 11:28, Reply)

Apologies then
If it's not obvious I clearly need to work on my delivery.

Were it a real situation I'd go for a combo of Cap'n and No3l's suggestions by wearing a shirt of clingfilm - part nakedness with a waterproof barrier protecting the skin.
( djtrialprice, Mon 23 Feb 2009, 11:29, Reply)

Serious answer
If he's unaware of the other guy, discreetly delete the emails referencing that and give him all the rest. She's dead, so he need never find out.

And black is always a good choice- in fact I'm wearing black today myself.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Mon 23 Feb 2009, 13:55, Reply)