The Orange Squash saga continues
After finally having chosen the brand and concentration of Orange Squash, there is still but one more thing that needs to be decided. How do I get that orangey liquid inside my stomach?

I have the following options.

A: Sip it gradually, savouring the taste
B: Gulp it down rapidly
C: Tilt head back and pour contents of glass directly down throat
D: Send it through a garden sprinkler and run round fast enough to catch it all in my mouth
E: Freeze it into an ice-lolly and consume it 'Debbie Does Dallas' stylee
F: Just slam-dunk the glass down the oesophagus and don't bother with the removing-from-its-glass bit
G: Make my flat watertight, stockpile on Orange-squash, leave the taps running, and pretty soon, the problem will solve itself
H: One word - osmosis









( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 19 Mar 2009, 21:39, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Homemade orange squash is the way forward
Inject some oranges with icy cold refreshing water till they're ready to burst. If it's a hot day, make some small cuts in the skin and wedge in some ice cubes.

Swallow oranges.

Do somersaults on your lounge trampoline until they burst, showering your insides with fresh, orangey goodness.

(Recipe (c) MrOli Enterprises, patent pending worldwide 2009-4097)
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Thu 19 Mar 2009, 21:57, Reply)

Or the secret ninth option
I. Fill a pint glass with whatever, take a sip and smash it against my forehead, splintering shards into my brain and eyes, rendering me incapable of ever posting more squash-related questions.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 19 Mar 2009, 23:34, Reply)