The long and the short of it is, everything's gone horribly, horribly wrong.
Mr Maladicta (as was) and I still live together, although we're no longer together and haven't been for about a month. 99% of the time we get on really well and it's as though nothing is really wrong at all (aside from catching him on some grot site on my laptop this morning). He does throw moods, which he's always done, and the best thing to do is to leave him alone to stew till he feels better.

I got my probation extended at work for something I originally thought was trivial and petty, but is something I don't seem to be able to fix on my own since the other party involved doesn't always show willing. Probation is up in two weeks and I'm not overly confident of being able to pass it even if I've been told I won't lose my job over this. I've bent over backwards to try and sort out the things that needed sorting out at work but I'm unsure if there's been any visible improvement.

Obviously with the job market being the way it is I'm not holding out a lot of hope for getting something else quickly and since I can't read minds I have no idea how well I'm doing or if I need to look for another job. Flatmate has a contingency plan and is already looking for somewhere else in case I do get fired. Thing is, if I don't get anything again quickly, the only place for me to go is back to my parents', which anyone who was around last summer will know I don't want to do. They have no idea we're not together any more which I genuinely feel is easier on all of us in the long run since my dad is of the breaking-legs kind and not possessed of much logic or compassion, so I'd just get an endless rant about "I told you it wouldn't work out" and going back to live with them is a death sentence since I'd never be able to get away again because there are no jobs and they live in the middle of nowhere, plus the only reason they want me there is so they don't have to talk to one another.

The straw that just broke the camel's back was my mum texting to ask if they would see me any time soon: flatmate thinks I'm in denial because I won't tell them what's happening - they don't know about probation either because they'd only fuss and tell me to quit and come home - and I had to lie my way out of it.

Apologies for length and everything if you got this far...
( Maladicta, Thu 7 May 2009, 19:44, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

Perhaps you're counting your chicks before they've hatched.
If your boss tells you you've nothing to worry about you probably have nothing to worry about. If you've genuinely made effort to improve a situation at work, find some way to document that you've been trying and speak to your management about it. Make it clear that you need this position.

Parents are always going to provide problems, have you any friends that can offer assistance? Friends are usually more than willing to help.

Perhaps you should bring home some strange for an all nighter and then your ex won't think you're in denial.

Edit: I hope things improve for you, I know what it's like to stress over these sort of things.
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 7 May 2009, 20:13, Reply)

This.
Listen to Kristine, she speaks a) in sentences and b) sense.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 7 May 2009, 20:16, Reply)

Do your tights have slashes or nicks in them?

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 7 May 2009, 20:19, Reply)

They have balls in 'em.
Fact.
( Cawl, Thu 7 May 2009, 20:21, Reply)

that's sexy
not nearly as sexy as nicks and slashes, though
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 7 May 2009, 20:23, Reply)

Now I'm seeing DiT
dressed as teh Izzard :D
( Maladicta, Fri 8 May 2009, 0:17, Reply)

I never know what to tell you.
Sometimes you don't like the colour, how will I know if you're going to like the styling? :)

They're fishnet, and scarlet.

When I wear tights-type-tights, I go for slashes in one leg. Oh yeah.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 7 May 2009, 20:24, Reply)

Just tell me the truth :D
now, what sort of shoes are you wearing?
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 7 May 2009, 20:27, Reply)

Black, patent leather stilletoes.
Not a pair of DCs. Oh no. No siree.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 7 May 2009, 20:29, Reply)

HURRAH FOR DCs

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 7 May 2009, 20:29, Reply)

I need to collar my boss when he's not doing boss things
and say "hey, how do you think I'm doing?" - if not good, there's still some time for improvement, after all. I'm going to have to write down everything I've done before I go into the meeting in a couple of weeks so perhaps they'll take a different angle on it, and I know at least one of my managers knows I need this job.

Most of my friends locally have moved back from whence they came, mostly to London, and the people I grew up with are scattered all over the place, so it might be harder to track people down and ask if I can crash for a while :( my main priority is not living with the parents again because I'll never escape...

I'm not in the market for another relationship, even an overnight one; my colleagues keep banging on about the pull and match.com and meeting someone else and they don't seem to get that I'm not ready and don't want to put myself through all that again :(
( Maladicta, Fri 8 May 2009, 0:16, Reply)