*sigh*
I'm sorry in advance for how upset I am, and I'll put it in the reply. Any and all comments relating to "man the fuck up" are welcome.
( Maladicta, Thu 7 May 2009, 19:35, 21 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Man the fuck up in advance

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 7 May 2009, 19:35, Reply)

Man the fuck up, in advance.
EDIT: Becky beat me to it.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 7 May 2009, 19:37, Reply)

Man the fuck up already

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 7 May 2009, 19:41, Reply)

The long and the short of it is, everything's gone horribly, horribly wrong.
Mr Maladicta (as was) and I still live together, although we're no longer together and haven't been for about a month. 99% of the time we get on really well and it's as though nothing is really wrong at all (aside from catching him on some grot site on my laptop this morning). He does throw moods, which he's always done, and the best thing to do is to leave him alone to stew till he feels better.

I got my probation extended at work for something I originally thought was trivial and petty, but is something I don't seem to be able to fix on my own since the other party involved doesn't always show willing. Probation is up in two weeks and I'm not overly confident of being able to pass it even if I've been told I won't lose my job over this. I've bent over backwards to try and sort out the things that needed sorting out at work but I'm unsure if there's been any visible improvement.

Obviously with the job market being the way it is I'm not holding out a lot of hope for getting something else quickly and since I can't read minds I have no idea how well I'm doing or if I need to look for another job. Flatmate has a contingency plan and is already looking for somewhere else in case I do get fired. Thing is, if I don't get anything again quickly, the only place for me to go is back to my parents', which anyone who was around last summer will know I don't want to do. They have no idea we're not together any more which I genuinely feel is easier on all of us in the long run since my dad is of the breaking-legs kind and not possessed of much logic or compassion, so I'd just get an endless rant about "I told you it wouldn't work out" and going back to live with them is a death sentence since I'd never be able to get away again because there are no jobs and they live in the middle of nowhere, plus the only reason they want me there is so they don't have to talk to one another.

The straw that just broke the camel's back was my mum texting to ask if they would see me any time soon: flatmate thinks I'm in denial because I won't tell them what's happening - they don't know about probation either because they'd only fuss and tell me to quit and come home - and I had to lie my way out of it.

Apologies for length and everything if you got this far...
( Maladicta, Thu 7 May 2009, 19:44, Reply)

Perhaps you're counting your chicks before they've hatched.
If your boss tells you you've nothing to worry about you probably have nothing to worry about. If you've genuinely made effort to improve a situation at work, find some way to document that you've been trying and speak to your management about it. Make it clear that you need this position.

Parents are always going to provide problems, have you any friends that can offer assistance? Friends are usually more than willing to help.

Perhaps you should bring home some strange for an all nighter and then your ex won't think you're in denial.

Edit: I hope things improve for you, I know what it's like to stress over these sort of things.
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 7 May 2009, 20:13, Reply)

This.
Listen to Kristine, she speaks a) in sentences and b) sense.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 7 May 2009, 20:16, Reply)

Do your tights have slashes or nicks in them?

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 7 May 2009, 20:19, Reply)

They have balls in 'em.
Fact.
( Cawl, Thu 7 May 2009, 20:21, Reply)

that's sexy
not nearly as sexy as nicks and slashes, though
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 7 May 2009, 20:23, Reply)

Now I'm seeing DiT
dressed as teh Izzard :D
( Maladicta, Fri 8 May 2009, 0:17, Reply)

I never know what to tell you.
Sometimes you don't like the colour, how will I know if you're going to like the styling? :)

They're fishnet, and scarlet.

When I wear tights-type-tights, I go for slashes in one leg. Oh yeah.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 7 May 2009, 20:24, Reply)

Just tell me the truth :D
now, what sort of shoes are you wearing?
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 7 May 2009, 20:27, Reply)

Black, patent leather stilletoes.
Not a pair of DCs. Oh no. No siree.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 7 May 2009, 20:29, Reply)

HURRAH FOR DCs

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 7 May 2009, 20:29, Reply)

I need to collar my boss when he's not doing boss things
and say "hey, how do you think I'm doing?" - if not good, there's still some time for improvement, after all. I'm going to have to write down everything I've done before I go into the meeting in a couple of weeks so perhaps they'll take a different angle on it, and I know at least one of my managers knows I need this job.

Most of my friends locally have moved back from whence they came, mostly to London, and the people I grew up with are scattered all over the place, so it might be harder to track people down and ask if I can crash for a while :( my main priority is not living with the parents again because I'll never escape...

I'm not in the market for another relationship, even an overnight one; my colleagues keep banging on about the pull and match.com and meeting someone else and they don't seem to get that I'm not ready and don't want to put myself through all that again :(
( Maladicta, Fri 8 May 2009, 0:16, Reply)

Hrmmmm
1) There's no harm in looking for another job, or as a matter of fact asking people how well they think you're doing at your current job.
2) Living with your ex is going to be stressfull from time to time. I reccomend password protecting your laptop. I live with my teenage younger brothers, and my browsing history has strangely gotten a lot shorter and a lot less dodgy since I did. You realy want to move out at some point, but untill you're fairly secure in this, or another job it's best not to make too many plans.
3) The parents thing is a lot harder. On one hand you don't want to realy wind up moving back in, and the local jobs thing sucks, but with the internet you should be able to find work somewhere, hopefully. And at least you have somewhere to fall back on, other than living in a dumpster. (and if that fails, I know of some fairly good dumpsters, good transport links, friendly neighbours)
4) You're going to have to tell your folks at some point about the break up. Best to grit your teeth and prepare for a row I guess. Even so, I'd do it when there's slightly less money/work related stuff going down.

I can't think of anything else realy. Hope some of that was some help. Oh, other than Man the fuck up. :)
(Fredz A graveyard of hopes, a dump of ambition, Thu 7 May 2009, 19:59, Reply)

Thanks :)
1. I think that the first thing I need to do is collar my boss and ask him; I've got two weeks left to go and it looks like I'm showing willing after all, rather than just letting it lie.
2. 99.9% of the time we live together with no problems at all, even if there's nothing else there we are the best of friends, and sadly at the moment we have my laptop between us as his PC went phut not long after we moved in. We're both in the market for a new computer - it'll be the first thing I buy if I don't lose my job - so I don't think it'll be a problem for too much longer.
3. My parents are, frankly, a pain in the arse. My mum clings terribly, fusses over me like I'm still a kid and my dad is a control freak who hasn't spoken to me since last July because I didn't move back to Wales. I'm determined that even if I do get fired, I'll do my utmost to get something else because living in a bin is preferable to living with them, especially when they find out we did split :(
( Maladicta, Fri 8 May 2009, 0:12, Reply)

I'd suggest sending off a few job applications just in case.
If they keep the probation's end-period in place, you may be able to hold off the preparation for the interviews until after that. Once you pass the probation, you can still get fired, but then, they'd have to jump through loads of hoops to do so, and even then, they'd have to give you notice-payment if they do.

On having read what you've said about your parents before, your dad does indeed lack logic. What would your mum be like to live with?
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 7 May 2009, 20:13, Reply)

If I could live with just mum, perhaps not as bad.
Sadly my parents are still together - somehow - and I'm dreading my dad finding out what's happened because he'll crow over it for weeks since he didn't want us to live together at all.

The fact is we're the best of friends, and while we both know living together won't be forever, we get on well enough that it's nice to have one another around.
( Maladicta, Fri 8 May 2009, 0:08, Reply)

Parents who think they have any say over how their adult offspring live
boil my piss big time.

You've split up with someone you live with - big fucking deal. It's not like you were married, so it's less stressful in that sense. They should be happy that you're dealing with it in what seems to be a mature and adult way. Not crow about it like fucking children in a school yard.

Good luck with the job thing, though. But if it works out, you need to tell your parents about your relationship status, and if they have a go, point out the above to them.

Not to be disrespectful, but your dad sounds like a petty minded bully if he hasn't spoken to you since last year becasue you didn't want to move back in with them. Fuck's sake. If I'd still been living at home beyond the age of 20 my Mum would have gone spare and 'encouraged' me to move out.

I'm not having a go at you here, you understand - more the probable attitude of your folks (dad especially).
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 8 May 2009, 13:42, Reply)

You're not being even slightly disrespectful;
I think my dad is a petty-minded bully who hides behind his outdated morals (living in sin? FFS dad, it's 2009, not 1809), so you're not telling me anything I don't know :) Many people have said they're impressed we can still live in the same flat and I'm really impressed with the way things are working out. And if I tell them and dad has a shitfit, I will use my epic customer service skills to tell him if he has a rant I'm hanging up till he calms down ;)

Ironically, the other person who had their probation extended and I had a meeting today and agreed what we're going to say we've done to fix the problem, so I feel slightly better knowing she's as worried as I am... thank you for your straight talk :)
( Maladicta, Fri 8 May 2009, 19:29, Reply)