I'm growing increasingly frustrated with big wigs
Why do they have no idea how maths works or how to analyse/present data? They ask for information in such a way that it holds little to no meaning and can easily be manipulated to show the reporting party in a good light.

Ridiculous error of the morning: price 1 / price 2 = difference

Clearly a price changing from £100 to £75 is a 75% difference...

Then we have the issue of wanting reports that "measure" things that aren't even remotely inline with the goals of the business.

:edit: For clarity my frustration is with their labeling the result of the calculation "difference". It's not in any way shape or form a difference.
( Captain V, Tue 12 May 2009, 9:13, 14 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I have no idea of what you're wibbling about
would a man the fuck up help?
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 12 May 2009, 9:14, Reply)

Thanks
That'll do nicely!
( Captain V, Tue 12 May 2009, 9:16, Reply)

You never see
the word 'quotient' used in shop sales though, do you?

If they said '25% difference' I could let them off with it, as the difference between the old and new prices would be 25% of the original.

(To be really pedantic, it's -25%, but I should stop now before I disappear up my own arse)
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 12 May 2009, 9:21, Reply)

Thing is I wouldn't consider it pedantic
To people that don't understand how maths works it might seem that way but anybody that does is forced to either make assumptions or remain in a state of confusion if things aren't done properly.

It's a report being requested by the parent company too so no amount of "you're retards this is a shit way to do this" will achieve anything. Hell when it's an internal report and I explain that the way they've asked me to report something isn't really the right/best way of doing it I usually just get blank looks of confusion.
( Captain V, Tue 12 May 2009, 9:28, Reply)

Wigs are great for covering up bald heads, but they're shit at maths.
You'ld be better off with a calculator doing that sort of thing.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 12 May 2009, 9:17, Reply)

*spangs*
That's cheered me up somewhat. Time to drown out the racket of this hell hole and try and get on with things.
( Captain V, Tue 12 May 2009, 9:19, Reply)

=)
Time for me to level up and man up too !

See you back on here in 15 minuites?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 12 May 2009, 9:21, Reply)

How about a small wig on a cat

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 12 May 2009, 9:18, Reply)

My favourite
is the signs in shops which say "Sale! Up to 50%".

I challenged a bookshop sales droid one day and maintained that this meant that they should be selling everything for less than half price. He countered that the sign actually meant 'up to 50% off' but of course it didn't say that.

Since then however, I've noticed that shops do now include the word 'off', albeit in quite small letters usually. So it looks like there are more pedants going around...
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 12 May 2009, 9:18, Reply)

something changing from 100 to 75
is a 25% change

the new price is 75% of the old one, but that's not the difference
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 12 May 2009, 9:18, Reply)

Exactly
They also don't seem to show any interest in separating changes in cost (to us) because of changes in the price from the supplier and changes in the exchange rate. If somebody presenting a report to me that didn't include that I'd tell them to fuck off.
( Captain V, Tue 12 May 2009, 9:23, Reply)

oh ok, they were saying that
damn fools

damn their eyes
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 12 May 2009, 9:28, Reply)

I'd have said
25% reduction
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 12 May 2009, 9:20, Reply)

Every helpdesk ticket I've been assigned so far today
Has been immediately followed by another email informing me that "a Priority 3 Incident for your team has not been resolved within 0 percent of the agreed SLA target time".

Muppets.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 12 May 2009, 10:49, Reply)