Alex James
What an annoying dickhead - foppish, good looking, great haircuts, rich, part of a great band, shagged for Britain, drank champaign like there was no tomorrow, sniffed half of Columbia, dabbled in the space programme, now a talking head on TV, author, a cheese manufacturer and contented middle aged farmer.

Bastard.

Which twat do you secretly like?

(A night with my mum for the first person to state the obvious.)
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:41, 27 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I quite like Chris Moyles.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:43, Reply)

he's a fucking tool

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 21 May 2009, 12:09, Reply)

*shagged him a few years ago*
*was good*

Edit ALEX JAMES, not Chris Moyles
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:44, Reply)

You should shag Chris Moyles
if he can he can mount Kilimanjaro etc.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:49, Reply)

No

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:50, Reply)

Standard response to claim...
P.O.I.D.H.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:50, Reply)

This is 1998 we're talking here

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:53, Reply)

well done that lady.
Mrs Tugnut2 will be very jealous and curious as to his package - she says he has a nice bulge.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:57, Reply)

She should be and yes it is :)
/slag
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:59, Reply)

Boris Johnson.

( jim_bob can herd cats., Thu 21 May 2009, 11:44, Reply)

I like him a lot
Not secretly, either.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:54, Reply)

But you like him...
...like you would a semi retarded cousin, yes?
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 21 May 2009, 12:00, Reply)

Politics aside
I think he's fucking hilarious, and his book The Dream of Rome is a scholarly but informative study of how the perceived concept of the Roman Empire (and what it meant to be Roman) was perhaps the key to its success as opposed to just pure military superiority. As a Classics nerd I was actually very impressed by his writing.

Plus, his 'wiff waff is coming home' speech had me in fucking stitches too.

I'm wholly apolitical and am very much in the 'they're all cunts' club, so I don't really have any positive or negative to say about his mayoral or parliamentary activities...
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 21 May 2009, 14:03, Reply)

I'm in two minds about him
I used to like him. Then he became mainstream and I started to get annoyed with him. I want to drink on the tube goddamn it! (not a londoner...yet... and just starting to smoke, so cursing the ban)

But he is a Classicist.

So basically, if I ever see him, I'll shout "cinaede!" at him for the lulz.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 21 May 2009, 12:00, Reply)

Alan Davis
He's a complete twunt... but he's sort of funny too.
(Potty Jag har smör i min rumpspringa, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:45, Reply)

Simon Cowell
Watching him shatter peoples' hopes and dreams is just brilliant
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:47, Reply)

ym
that was the obvious answer, right?

Is it some sort of time-paradox if I back date my prize?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:54, Reply)

right on both counts...
She drowned in a bukkake related accident back in '93.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:59, Reply)

Sorry about that
In my defence, it had been a while.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 21 May 2009, 12:05, Reply)

Epitaph
Oh well, she went as you came.

We have a family tradition of putting our last words on our tombstones - with dear mummy we never knew how to spell her gargling sound.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 21 May 2009, 12:38, Reply)

Jason Statham
Never tries to be anything more than an ass-kicking action movie star.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:57, Reply)

I have an immense soft spot
for the bald headed mini-man.

I even kept Deathrace after watching it...
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:58, Reply)

You always did have appaling taste in films

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:59, Reply)

Aww
I like him too for that exact same reason! :)
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 21 May 2009, 12:04, Reply)

That monumental helmet from The Darkness
He, as a person, is hilarious.

Records = not funny (apart from that Xmas one which really made me chuckle, 5-year-old that I am)
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:59, Reply)

In person he's awesome
I had to interview him a couple of years ago and he's really really lovely. Godawful teeth though
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 21 May 2009, 12:00, Reply)

Jeremy Clarkson
An opinionated cock, but Top Gear is just so entertaining and it wouldn't be the same without him.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 21 May 2009, 12:42, Reply)