"My greatest achievement at work is...
I haven't ripped off your head yet".

I haven't had a chance to use it yet, but I will.
(Potty Jag har smör i min rumpspringa, Thu 21 May 2009, 19:12, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I may get the chance tomorrow
I have said that I would put my head in the oven if it wasn't fucking electric as a joke before, which was followed by much concern and sincere enquiries about my mental health.

*rolls eyes*
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Thu 21 May 2009, 19:16, Reply)

it's only cos they care
although on reflection they might be concerned for your mental abilities if they thought you thought an electric oven would work...

/tired.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 21 May 2009, 19:22, Reply)

Meh
They don't care. I didn't even get a cost of living raise this year.

Fuck 'em:S
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Thu 21 May 2009, 19:24, Reply)

there's nothing like workplace retorts.
example:

It's 7:37pm. An insufferable couple saunter into the theatre and present their tickets.

Insufferable couple: Oh, we're a bit late, it's all right to go in though isn't it.

Me: Well, you are a little bit late yes, so you'll have to go in at the back and wait until the interval to get to your booked seats. (they were on row B)

Insufferable couple: But it's only 7:35, and it says 7:30 on our tickets, we didn't think the show would start then.

Me: I bet you miss a lot of trains.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 21 May 2009, 19:16, Reply)

Arghh!
I hate people like these. Had enough of them then I did the fringe festival. They're lucky you're willing to let them in at all - I would never let them in when I was on duty at the venue.

Ahh, the feeling of small power...
(Potty Jag har smör i min rumpspringa, Thu 21 May 2009, 20:52, Reply)