Noo, don't ever
think that deciding to be (and promising to be) selfless is an answer to anything... It just creates an unrealistic expectation which puts the relationship under more pressure.
In a way, you could both be lucky that you have reached this conclusion without drawing out a destructive situation to the point of you both hating each other instead of still loving each other. It may not feel like that now though...

I understand the pain that makes us believe it could work though... what ifs are absolute torture.

You may not feel like there's been any proper closure, and there may be things you wish you'd said and done, or still could say or do... But that's one of the aspects of breakups you eventually have to accept - the messiness of it all. The unfairness, the missed opportunities, the hurt that can't be fixed, the loose ends that will never be tied up... letting go of "happy ever after".

But it will all pass. Honestly.

*internet hugs n stuff*
( warmfuzzies Isn't here, Wed 27 May 2009, 19:27, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

This
Couldn't have put it better myself.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 28 May 2009, 7:14, Reply)

very well put
there's no point forcing a change to make things work
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 28 May 2009, 8:49, Reply)