Too, too true
There is also the emotional need which isn't of itself love. Wanting to be wanted; it's a very powerful impulse, especially for those of us who maybe didn't have the best childhood in the world.

My yardstick is - "is the person I want treating me the way I would treat them ?". This works for all aspects of life, love and friendships - reverse the scenario, say "would I have done x or y like this person has just done to me ?". OK, we'll all act differently, but essentially you should be with people who play by the same rules you play by.

It's always actions, actions, actions. The problem with lust / infatuation is that it is blind to the true actions of the one we are fixated with. Thankfully with age / experience one becomes a bit more discerning...
( I_Was_Mordred, Sun 31 May 2009, 11:05, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

Something to think on
I hadn't considered the wanting to be wanted emotional reponse - I would guess in a way it a part of lusting after someone, particularly if they show an interest in you.

I generally use the same yardstick, but I also look at how they treat others, as people tailor their responses depending on who they're talking to and you can get a better idea of the underlying them by observing them interact with people other than yourself.

It's just a pity it's one of those things that really had to be learnt the hard way.
(Potty Jag har smör i min rumpspringa, Sun 31 May 2009, 11:18, Reply)