In-jokes
Me and a couple of ex-college friends piss about with language and end up with obscure phrases that only we know the meaning of.

For example, "put the kettle on" was mispronounced as "pat the cattle, Anne". Then with a bit of word association, and swapping Anne for another member of the 'Famous Five', it became "Tap the horses, Dick" and so on. Saying to your mate, "it's your turn to tap the horse's dick" raises too many questions.

What extremely esoteric in-jokes do you practice?

Edi: Clicked Post This Message by accident
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 21:01, 8 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Grilled Trees
because I was drunk one night and asked my friend to cook me some grilled trees...I meant cheese.
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 21:04, Reply)

we don't do a lot of the word association stuff here
I tend to use some phrases from b3ta and my friends have no idea what I mean so they say 'oh, Kristine's being all english again' and make nasty faces at me
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 21:06, Reply)

We used to play a version of Scrabble
Where you had to make words up. We came up with 'Vagits' in the days before we'd heard of cameltoe.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 21:09, Reply)

Mate at Uni
We called Alfie.

Because Michael Caine was in Alfie.
He was also in The Italian Job.
And my friend slept with an Italian girl once.

Tortuous, but there we are.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 21:10, Reply)

don't you mean
tenuous?
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 21:13, Reply)

It deserves extra points
if it evolves through several vaguely connected ideas.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 21:15, Reply)

Yeah
I meant a tortuous route to come up with a nickname.

We could have called him Brownie. For Brown was his surname.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 21:19, Reply)

Peteloaf and I
grew up together and used to call snacks "Fat Munch" his mum trying to be "down wid da kidz" gave us £5 and said "Thats for you to buy some fat lunch" so now whenever we eat together we enjoy our fat lunch no matter what time of day. Thanks Petes mum!
( Peej, Fri 12 Jun 2009, 10:35, Reply)