well, as it happens
I found an little ipod shuffly thingy on the bus this morning. The bus was empty apart from me and the driver so I thought what the heck, I'm keeping it. It obviously wanted a more careful owner, and I haven't got one. woo and yay!
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:02, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

You think no one saw you take it,
but Jesus saw you take it.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:03, Reply)

Jesus cried when he saw you take it

(Bazongaloid, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:04, Reply)

Then he touched his willy
because you were wearing tiny pink shorts
(Bazongaloid, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:04, Reply)

^
then he you touched his your willy...

doh
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:05, Reply)

As Thom Yorke might say
The Karma Police will get to you...
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:04, Reply)

The Karma Police will get to you... I'm a pretentious cunt who should remember that people bought your records to start with because they were good so stop releasing unlistenable drivel and play some fucking tunes.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:05, Reply)

The last album wasn't actually bad at all.
And it was free.
( Cawl, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:07, Reply)

I like them all!
He does seem a right cunt though. Not quite Chris Martin or Bono cunt, but a cunt all the same.
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:11, Reply)

how do you know
that they already haven't?

I could be doing a good turn to someone else anyway, by not handing it in, the owner won't be wearing it when that lorry zooms round the corner, so they'll hear it in time and won't be squished.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:07, Reply)

You can keep trying to justify yout naughtiness as much as you like
But you know this is true:

(Bazongaloid, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:09, Reply)

it is true

(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:10, Reply)

Ah so you done them a favour by stealing their shuffle
If you're lucky the victim will write you a letter thanking you!
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:10, Reply)

I didn't steal it
they lost it. If there had been anyone else on the bus I would have asked people if it was theirs. But there wasn't. If I handed it in, it's most likely going to sit in a box at the depot for six months then handed out at the Christmas raffle.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:14, Reply)

I'm just the bitter bastard
That has lost an inordinate amount of wallets/phones/etc while drunk.

I've actually returned phones and things to the rightful owner before - it rarely works the other way though :(
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:19, Reply)

I would've handed it in :(

( Cawl, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:04, Reply)

That's because
you're a good person Kaol. A good person.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:06, Reply)