Enjoy the delights of garden centres, nice long walks in the country,
jacket potatoes for dinner every night and being forced to watch shit soaps. Oh, and teach him German without complaining and under no circumstances have sex with anyone.
( Maladicta, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:01, 1 reply, 17 years ago)

Why don't you suggest your dad gets a toy dog
If he dresses it in your clothes, he may never realise the difference and forget it's not you, while you'd be living it up large in Kent.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:11, Reply)

Could well work.
Except the toy dog won't cry when he yells at it.
( Maladicta, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:14, Reply)

.
You could install a device that secretes water when the ambient volume becomes too high. It could re-fill by absorbing atmospheric moisture.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:16, Reply)

I like that.
On a similar note, you'd think he'd have figured out it's his behaviour that pushed me away by now, surely?
( Maladicta, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:19, Reply)

Were you relying on him to figure it out
or have you tried telling him that?

Perhaps you could tell him via the medium of a looped message in your toy dog?
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:28, Reply)

I don't know.
I've never really got on with him since I was about 14 and I think he just thinks I'm a stupid little girl who doesn't know what she's doing. I'm sort of relying on my mum to snap him out of it and cunt him in the fuck.

Or skywriting?
( Maladicta, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:32, Reply)

Perhaps
you could try and keep your contact with your parents as minimal as possible. Then after many years, if you apologise, they might see sense and be thankful you're re-establishing contact. However, this is more likely to work on mums than dads.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:53, Reply)