Becky and Clendrix's little thread of malice
So who are we disliking tonight?

It's been so nice on here since Psychochomp left for Glastonbury doncha think? Just popping to the shop to get some fags as I haven't smoked in several days, but had two at college today, so need more tonight as i'm on the BEEEEEEEEER
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 19:30, 108 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I have noticed...
that other people get the chance to answer first when Chompo isn't here.
( thealternativefact, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 19:32, Reply)

And when it's quiet at work
that people is me.

I just boned a chicken for the first time. I feel more like a man than I ever have before.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 19:35, Reply)

Hahaha
Boned a chicken.
You sick bastard.
( thealternativefact, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 19:36, Reply)

I know.
I got all sticky and worked carefully around its ribcage and everything. I had to wash myself thoroughly afterwards.

In other news, curry is cooking!
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 19:40, Reply)

Curry?
*sighs*
*wants curry*
( thealternativefact, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 19:42, Reply)

My local deli
does these wicked curry spice packs which give the closest thing I've found to the real deal. And I got a whole large chicken reduced to a quid and a half in Waitrose after work.

Fucking. Result.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 19:47, Reply)

I loves your signature.
And now I want chicken! Nom.
( Maladicta, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 19:48, Reply)

*bows*
How're you may-tay?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 19:50, Reply)

I has a good.
Going to London in July for the weekend, and tentatively Paris at the end of August (about time I made use of the free travel!). And you good sir?
( Maladicta, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 19:57, Reply)

Kickin' back with daughter
watching Mythbusters and sipping vodka and cloudy lemonade. Nice.

Nine miles and three hills with the folks tomorrow, 30th birthday barbeque on Sunday. A good weekend in my book.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 20:02, Reply)

Aw lovely :)
Listening to 'Tallica, watching flatmate play Alex Kidd on PS3 and perusing b3ta :)

Barbecue sounds nom; would definitely have one if I didn't live in a flat... *needs meat*
( Maladicta, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 20:05, Reply)

*offers meat*
Ha... Anyway...
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 20:07, Reply)

*wants meats*
NOM.
( Maladicta, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 20:22, Reply)

OK, who are we disliking?
Michael Jackson, because now we have to listen to his fucking shit songs all the fucking time like he was some sort of genuis with more than one dance move.
Compare him with that other white peado, Gary 'Up The' Glitter who is now banned from everywhere.
( thealternativefact, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 19:36, Reply)

I know, we were talking about how he's practically being canonised now that he's dead
whereas the other paedo is still considered an evil bastard because he was locked up and Jacko wasn't.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 19:43, Reply)

He was a black guy who dyed himself white and fiddled with kids.
He is wiv da angles now.
( thealternativefact, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 19:45, Reply)

Throwin shapes in heaven 4 babby p and Maddie

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 19:46, Reply)

and da baby P
and Princess Jade
( Maladicta, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 19:46, Reply)

I draw your attention to
this: www.youtube.com/watch?v=hLVsIpejFgM
( Maladicta, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 19:46, Reply)

LOL
top!
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:40, Reply)

oh, it's different on a daily basis
I'm a bit cranky today, so, I like, don't like, anyone
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 19:38, Reply)

This is why you are welcome here.

( thealternativefact, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 19:42, Reply)

Even us?
You can't help being a redneck Texan afterall ,)
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 19:44, Reply)

oh...I'm not Texan :(
*shuns*
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 19:46, Reply)

Bollocks I thought you were

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 19:48, Reply)

Oh dear...do I have to dislike people by myself?

( thealternativefact, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 19:43, Reply)

Becky's buggered off.

( thealternativefact, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 19:44, Reply)

Becky's back and has beer and fags

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 19:44, Reply)

Oh, there she is.

( thealternativefact, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 19:44, Reply)

nah
there's this cunt that works at one of my work's suppliers and every time he comes in he hands me his paperwork to sign and sets my paperwork all the way at the end of my desk so I gotta get up and walk around to get it
one of these days *shakes fist*
one of these days I'm gonna smash his fat cunty hand with my stapler
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 19:45, Reply)

And on that day you will come here and tell us you've done it
and be Queen of B3ta for the rest of the week.
( thealternativefact, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 19:46, Reply)

Is it a swingline?

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 19:47, Reply)

Disliking?
My bloody job. I'm a patient and easy-going person, but it's now got to the point where I could quite happily bite the head off a small dog on a daily basis.

What a shitty time to have a shitty job!
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 19:44, Reply)

BE GLAD YOU HAVE A JOB YOU CUNT
/2 months and counting
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 19:48, Reply)

I know.
Can't fucking wait til you get one.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 19:49, Reply)

So I'm not on here all day starting new threads?

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 19:50, Reply)

Nah, just kidding like.
It's been a blast round here recently. Long may it continue.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 19:52, Reply)

Sure you are
narrows eyes
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 19:54, Reply)

*pokes in eyes*
If I was serious, I'd have said so.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 19:55, Reply)

Adds to shit list anyway

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 19:57, Reply)

I may be allergic to something but I don;t know what
either that or my digestive system is shit.
Literally.

I'm feeling apprehensive about tonight, because it could be another night where I sit on the sidelines when all my hotter friends get off with people.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 19:52, Reply)

Story of my sodding life mate.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 19:53, Reply)

:( I actually hate it.
My last boyfriend was awesome. We got on incredibly well, everything was great.

He dumps me out of the blue for being ugly.
Ah, sod it.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 19:54, Reply)

Fuck him.
I know I'm no stunner... Be comfortable in your skin and you'll be right.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 19:57, Reply)

I did - he still didn't want me!
:D
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 19:58, Reply)

No point in being with someone who doesn't want you

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 19:58, Reply)

That sounds like I had a choice about whether I was going to be with him after he said that.
He pretty much implied he never wanted to speak to me again for a while after.

But we're safe now. I think he's ace.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 19:59, Reply)

Sorry I meant, why would you want to be with someone who treats you like that?

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 20:00, Reply)

He was nice before he said that.
I just didn't understand what happened. He went from saying I was incredible and perfect for him (we were very well suited) to not being able to stand the sight of me. In literally a day.

Gaahh. That happens with everyone. I must have some sort of anti-pheremones or summat.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 20:02, Reply)

Nah.
Most men are complete cunts. Simples.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 20:04, Reply)

Most, I think. Except some. The ones I like.
Also bonus points for the use of "simples".
( Maladicta, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 20:06, Reply)

*squeaks*

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 20:08, Reply)

Ee-hee!

( Maladicta, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 20:10, Reply)

Haha
This from a popbitch special earlier today:

"A friend of mine was in Los Angeles 79 thru 87.
Michael Jackson had had a huge hit with Off The
Wall, and was recording the follow up.

"The sessions were arranged for a very late start,
and, after a night on the town, my mate popped
around to the studio to see the producer.

"He got into the control room to find that
everyone's attention was fixed on the glass
window. On the other side, Quincy Jones was kicking
a pile of rags on the floor while shouting
"Silent, you motherfucker! I said NO SQUEAKS!"

"It turned out the pile of rags was a gibbering
Michael Jackson. They were recording a new song
called Billie Jean, and Michael had decided
to fill every gap with his trademark whoops,
clicks and squeaks. Quincy, however, had decided
that the track would be a pared down.

"After several hours of trying to get the
singer to do what he wanted, and having consumed
large quantities of ragedust, Jones had finally
snapped and attacked the poor freak. Needless
to say, after the outburst, MJ sang the song
how he was told to, and the rest is history."
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 20:13, Reply)

Dude. Harsh.
*feels a bit sorry for Jacko*
( Maladicta, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 20:21, Reply)

MTFU
and do something about it then
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 19:54, Reply)

Ceebs going to the doctors about it
I assume you mean the other thing. I'll see. I'm just trying not to care; that's when I met my last guy.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 19:55, Reply)

Fair enough

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 19:58, Reply)

you need friends that are ugly
they make you look hotter in comparison
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 19:55, Reply)

I pride myself on having ridiculously good looking friends
with the exception of Wormulus of course - so I wonder if I'm the uggo of the group.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 20:00, Reply)

I wish
I'm out tonight with an Amazonian blonde and possibly one of my hottest friends.

/facepalm
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 20:00, Reply)

Time to partner up with some uggos then

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 20:01, Reply)

Either that or MAKE my friends ugly.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 20:03, Reply)

hair removal gel in her shampoo?

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 20:05, Reply)

Was thinking more "acid in the face"
but that could work too.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 20:06, Reply)

aw, bad friend!

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 20:11, Reply)

Fist straight in her face?

( thealternativefact, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 20:07, Reply)

That works

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 20:07, Reply)

Hang around with me.
You're very much better looking than me :)
( Maladicta, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 20:11, Reply)

D'aww! Thank you honey!
I don't think that's true - you look gorgeous in your profile!

Ooh look - a wild Pander has appeared!

Pander has used Compliment!
It's super-effective!
Maladicta's confidence rises 12 points!
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 20:12, Reply)

Maladicta used Blush on the wild Pander!
Maladicta is blushing!
It may not be able to attack!
( Maladicta, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 20:20, Reply)

Im disliking
the gangrenous bunch of cuntfaced fucking clownshoes who decided to display a whole bootful of car driving ineptitude and causing a pileup on the A14 which doubled my journey time home.
(Halfy By light alone, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 20:13, Reply)

I'm liking
the word clownshoes though.
( Maladicta, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 20:21, Reply)

we have a clownshoe award at work
for the person that does the most mindnumbing fucking stupid thing possible
(Halfy By light alone, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 20:22, Reply)

We have a Wall of Insanity
in the making; the ombudsman has been to see us this week so it had to come down. Some absolute nutjob has been calling us and demanding to speak to all the directors and rants nonstop for hours. We don't like him.
( Maladicta, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 20:28, Reply)

Gah
the world of support *shudders* we used to just have pet names for all our regular callers.
Don't miss that for a minute
(Halfy By light alone, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 20:38, Reply)

I love everyone because I've had most of a bottle of red wine.
In fact I want to love each and every one of you....hard!
( girlinthehole, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 20:19, Reply)

Yay! Hugs!
Granted, wine induced hugs but I takes 'em where I finds 'em.
(SpunkyMcSpunkbubble Diddled your nubbin on, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 20:23, Reply)

Have I ever told you you're my bestest friend in the whole wide world.
*hugs*
( girlinthehole, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 20:24, Reply)

I fahkin' love you
Yer me besh mate

*hic* & hugs
(SpunkyMcSpunkbubble Diddled your nubbin on, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 20:25, Reply)

I loves you Blousie.
Yeah, you're aces.
( Maladicta, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 20:27, Reply)

I'm going to name by first born after you cause I love you so much.
I'm 44 so it may be downs-syndrome but who gives a fuck.

Edit - Where's Clendrix? I want to give her a big boob squishy hug.

Edit 2 - Maladicta - you're my 4th favorite person in the whole wide world.
( girlinthehole, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 20:27, Reply)

She was here a while ago
- assume she's about somewhere...
( Maladicta, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 20:30, Reply)

What I don't get
is that the probability of complications like downs occours after aged 35 or so ..... So with these women pumped full of IVF aged 60 ish why aren't their babies coming out with tentacles and cocks growing out of their necks?

And I've put on weight from lack of fags you can have a squishy boob hug too : )
(SpunkyMcSpunkbubble Diddled your nubbin on, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 20:35, Reply)

Moob hugs are full of win : )
I have no answer re the IVF thing. I guess they're screened for abnormalities.?

Try spelling abnormalities when your squiffy. I swear my spelling improves when I've had a glass or four.
( girlinthehole, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 20:39, Reply)

It's drunken attention to detail
Small and inconsequential tasks are ace when drunk, boozehol's K.O'd higher brain function meaning you can prat about with foolish non jobs.

I cleaned my boots a few months ago while trollyed and they were like mirrors.
(SpunkyMcSpunkbubble Diddled your nubbin on, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 20:42, Reply)

Well done for the non smoking thing btw.
You won't regret it.
( girlinthehole, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 20:45, Reply)

Cheers
As my mate sagely observed "a bit of lard's easier to sort out than lung cancer". I feel ace. Fanks bgb
(SpunkyMcSpunkbubble Diddled your nubbin on, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 20:47, Reply)

Woo and yay!
*feels special*
( Maladicta, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 20:42, Reply)

You are speshul.
Just like the rest of us.
( girlinthehole, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 20:44, Reply)

*gleeeeeeeeee*
*makes spasticated Zero Punctuation face*
( Maladicta, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 20:46, Reply)

Ooh ooh Can I join in
*Mnuuuuuurrghhh!*

All monged out now.
(SpunkyMcSpunkbubble Diddled your nubbin on, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 20:48, Reply)

*belms*
mmmmmmmnnnnnnggggggggggggghhhhhhh
( Maladicta, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 20:48, Reply)

Lampito
I hate to say this, For we are simple creatures and you do have an unfair advantage by the way of posessing boobies.

If you see a chap you like, fit friends or no, get him in conversation. Once this is done the rest is easy, flirt shamelessly and if required give him a fucking good grope ....... Subtlety is not our thing. Cues are needed

Happy hunting!
(SpunkyMcSpunkbubble Diddled your nubbin on, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 20:20, Reply)

Boobies make everything better.
Most useful for getting one's own way (would more so if my boss was straight, I suspect).
( Maladicta, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 20:48, Reply)

Boobies do make everything better.
I miss boobies : (
( girlinthehole, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 20:53, Reply)

Mine are getting me into trouble at the moment.
Guy from work is trying it on over Facebook and I don't have a boyfriend to scare him off...
( Maladicta, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 20:58, Reply)

tell him your third nipple itches but not as bad as the fourth or fifth

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 21:02, Reply)

*removes bra in the blinking of an eye*
*jiggles*
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 20:58, Reply)

Woo yay!
'ning sweary one!
( Maladicta, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 21:00, Reply)

hello honeybuns!
My, what splendid norks :o)
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 21:02, Reply)

*blushes*
Why thank you; you need to see them in a decent corset though. Yours are most magnificent :)
( Maladicta, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 21:03, Reply)

Why, thank you.
It must be the new bra that ancrenne fitted me with in London. I'd been wearing a 36B when really I'm 34D.

*jiggles again for effect*
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 21:07, Reply)

Oooo! *motorboats*
Men don't know how lucky they are.
( girlinthehole, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 21:00, Reply)

pheeeeeeeeeew....
You're even better than V and he was good! He gave me my first motorboat on Clendrix's instructions.
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 21:04, Reply)

I must give him a go.
He'd be just the right height : )

He's a cheeky little minx.
( girlinthehole, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 21:07, Reply)

He is the perfect height
and came very highly reccomended for that particular skill.
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 21:12, Reply)

Are we disliking anyone in particular this evening?
Is Eds Meds old hat already? Or does he need moar Honda Accord?
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 21:10, Reply)