Oi Flapheads
I didn't come in to work to actually fucking work - where's all the chit-chat?
What can we do to Kaol to make him more interesting?
( thealternativefact, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 11:04, 75 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I suggest slicing him up and putting him in sandwiches for tramps.

( thealternativefact, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 11:04, Reply)

Give him a personality?
Or some wit?
(Flid James carry on, mongs, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 11:05, Reply)

Harsh, but fair.
Poor Kaol :(
( thealternativefact, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 11:06, Reply)

Dress him up
as the jolly green giant

ho ho ho
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 11:05, Reply)

Have you seen him smile?
Ain't nuthin' jolly 'bout that.
( thealternativefact, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 11:07, Reply)

Give him
exposure to bright light?
(The Apeface Cherub is not a cunty-uber-cunt, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 11:06, Reply)

What,
as in shoot him directly into the centre of the sun from a huge rocket?
Yes. I approve of this.
( thealternativefact, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 11:07, Reply)

He's a vampire, not a mogwai...
Artificial bright light would be ok, wouldn't it?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 11:08, Reply)

Aww
it would be pretty cool if he was a mogwai! :)
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Wed 15 Jul 2009, 11:12, Reply)

Awww
Yes!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 11:19, Reply)

Well
I say pretty cool. It would be pretty cool if he was like Gizmo rather than Spike!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Wed 15 Jul 2009, 11:25, Reply)

Yeah, I meant Gizmo too
I have a toy Gizmo. I resisted years of "Can't you give it to the baby? He loves Gizmo..." through years' worth of cousins/nephews.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 11:27, Reply)

Haha
NEVER!!! I had the same thing with a weird-looking blue frizzy bear which I've posted on QOTW about. My mum tried to throw him away tons of times and tried to make me give him to various children over the years - I still have him though! Mwah ha haaa!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Wed 15 Jul 2009, 11:31, Reply)

Bitch threw out Bertie Basset though
I'll get her back...
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 11:32, Reply)

Aww
Poor Bertie! :(
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Wed 15 Jul 2009, 11:44, Reply)

Not to mention Papa Smurf,
who met a particularly disturbing end. Witnessed by an 8-year-old Roota.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 11:54, Reply)

Quite right
Let's make it sunlight and include rockets.
(The Apeface Cherub is not a cunty-uber-cunt, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 11:08, Reply)

Speaking of Kaol.
Does anyone else like the taste of their own blood?
( girlinthehole, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 11:10, Reply)

No, I don't...what on earth have you been doing?

( thealternativefact, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 11:13, Reply)

I just don't mind the taste of my own blood is all.
It's not like I have a voracious appetite for it or anything.
( girlinthehole, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 11:16, Reply)

Oh.
I had visions of you walking around chewing on your own arm, or something.
( thealternativefact, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 11:17, Reply)

Hahaha!
Hmmmm flesh. nomnomnom!
( girlinthehole, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 11:21, Reply)

I know what you mean
I like it too. mine that is
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 11:21, Reply)

I do
A little bit. Mmmmm, coppery
(The Apeface Cherub is not a cunty-uber-cunt, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 11:15, Reply)

Too metallic
scares me
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 11:20, Reply)

You're scared of metal?

(PsychoChomp, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 11:21, Reply)

No
but weird liquid metal in your mouth, indicating a hurt somewhere.
That makes me feel uneasy.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 11:24, Reply)

Have you been sent from the future?

(PsychoChomp, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 11:26, Reply)

No, I'm from the 80s
I'm all about everything fading to white and the curtains burning.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 11:28, Reply)

That was a terminator 2 reference if you didn't get it.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 12:12, Reply)

Mine was an Ultravox reference if you didn't get it ;-)

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 12:13, Reply)

I didn't,
comedy fail.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 12:16, Reply)

It's not comedy
it's fact
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 12:19, Reply)

It's the taste of mortality.

( thealternativefact, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 11:28, Reply)

I think that's what it is!
*hides*
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 11:29, Reply)

Actually,
I really do.
( Cawl, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 11:34, Reply)

In that case
why don't you stick to drinking your own blood, and stop stalking innocent humans at night, in remote winding lanes, dragging them into cornfields and draining them of their lifeblood?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 11:36, Reply)

He likes the blood of virgins,
lawl
(PsychoChomp, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 11:37, Reply)

Not bad.
Raised a smile, I'll give you that.
( Cawl, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 11:39, Reply)

a smile the dead
( thealternativefact, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 11:40, Reply)

Báthory Erzsébet...

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 11:39, Reply)

Should I pretend to laugh to seem clever?

(PsychoChomp, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 11:43, Reply)

Could do.
Although it's more of a "Nod knowingly" type of statement.
( Cawl, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 11:45, Reply)

She was the female Kaol
I have a relative with an unhealthy obsession about her.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 11:45, Reply)

Come on Chompy, this is b3ta.
Much better to laugh at whatever the circumstances.
( thealternativefact, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 11:45, Reply)

Crimson shower
The weirder relative of the golden shower...
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 11:50, Reply)

Kept her young too!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 11:51, Reply)

A good healthy dose of self-love there, Kaol.
:)
( thealternativefact, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 11:37, Reply)

Well,
Not excessively.
( Cawl, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 11:38, Reply)

*laughs for rest of day*

( thealternativefact, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 11:38, Reply)

Hate it. Absolutely disgusting.
Like licking spoons.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 11:40, Reply)

Hahahaha
That's sooo weird, it is like licking spoons!!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Wed 15 Jul 2009, 11:45, Reply)

Do you two do that a lot then?

( thealternativefact, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 11:46, Reply)

What
You never come home after a hard days work for a little bit of spoon licking?
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Wed 15 Jul 2009, 11:47, Reply)

A bit of spooning
and licking maybe
(Is this a good idea? ... Yes this is definitely a good idea, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 12:13, Reply)

*rudes*

(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Wed 15 Jul 2009, 12:16, Reply)

*Produces cheeky grin*

(Is this a good idea? ... Yes this is definitely a good idea, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 12:53, Reply)

I used to when I was younger.
I don't now, cause it tastes of blood.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 11:47, Reply)

Did you just go and lick a spoon to check?

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 11:48, Reply)

*shuffles feet*
Maybe...
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Wed 15 Jul 2009, 11:50, Reply)

Stop spooning on this thread.

( thealternativefact, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 12:07, Reply)

Tehe

(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Wed 15 Jul 2009, 12:12, Reply)

if you don't like licking spoons
then how do you get the delicious dessert off it?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 11:48, Reply)

Nonononono
Licking RAW spoons. Spoons with nothing on them.

And I like to eat icecream with a fork.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 11:49, Reply)

Hmmm
Now you are on your own with forking ice cream.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Wed 15 Jul 2009, 11:50, Reply)

I'm just not keen on spoons.
If I could only use one item of cutlery for the rest of my life, it would be a fork.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 11:51, Reply)

Hehehe
I suppose you're right, a fork is the best option out of the three... I tend to use the side of a fork to chop stuff up if I can't be bothered to get a knife.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Wed 15 Jul 2009, 12:04, Reply)

RAW spoons.

( thealternativefact, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 12:08, Reply)

*is bemused by this*

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 12:11, Reply)

We could always send him back to Russia.

(Slip Digby is a meat puppet, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 12:00, Reply)

Oh hurrah!
Yes, very entertaining idea.
( thealternativefact, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 12:08, Reply)

I had a lovely time when I was there before.
You pay, I'll go.
( Cawl, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 12:12, Reply)

Pay?
I'll just stick you in a crate and mail you from work.
( thealternativefact, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 12:19, Reply)

Airholes,
Food and water, please.
( Cawl, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 12:24, Reply)

So demanding.

( thealternativefact, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 12:32, Reply)