Stasi Germany, TODAY
Where do i start? Not at the beginning, because that would be too harrowing, so how about today...I work for a company that likes to control its employees and they like to think they have the capacity to control what we think. They have NO idea as to what makes a happy employee, none at all. Even winning the 'employee of the month' ends in humilation for the winner. AND please don't get me started on their 'conferences', sweet vibrating Jesus please don't...I would need a whole day to expel that from my system.

So, earlier today we received this lovely little e-mail, none if this has been altered incidentally.

"YOUR FUTURE IS IN YOUR OWN HANDS
SCOTTISH JOBLESS HIGHEST IN UK
JOBLESS FIGURES WILL BE WORSE NEXT YEAR

The majority of our consultants are doing a good job

BUT!!

Some are not. They are putting your financial future at risk as well as theirs. You MUST name and shame those who do not give good service, who do not help clients with admin issues etc.Next year is forecast to be tougher than this year principally due to unemployment being even higher than this year with higher taxes, higher fuel bills and less disposable income. Hard as it is especially in the heat we must try everything to convert and especially give good service.

You must name and shame. Report in confidence to your manager. If someone is under performing we won't be giving them a hard time we will put in extra training.

PLEASE HELP WE MUST ACT NOW TO PROTECT NEXT YEAR'S BUSINESS
THANK YOU FOR ALL YOUR HARD WORK TO DATE
PEOPLE AND DEPARTMENTS MUST PULL TOGETHER"


Yes, it really does mean that we should grass up our fellow employees if they aren't doing as they should.....so, on that note, they then send out this fucking 'order'......


"As the Company grows it is difficult to maintain a small company ethos.

The nights that we have arranged are to thank you for all your hard work and dedication. It allows Departments and Branches to mix and mingle and get to know each other. The larger the Company grows, branches in particular can feel isolated and it is important that everyone can come together to celebrate the success of xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx. Therefore it is important that we have a large turnout otherwise it defeats the purpose. We want these occasions to be an enjoyable and entertaining experience and create a general feeling of well being.

We have grown rapidly however we would still like to think that we can maintain close ties between all our departments and branches. So we would ask that you give serious consideration to attending these functions. Come along meet your colleagues and enjoy the fun."

ENJOY THE FUN, don't make me laugh...the last few nights out have been cancelled due to no cunt wanting to go. For the love of all things holy please get me out of here, i try, i really do, to find other jobs, an escape route, if you will, but so far my attempts have been fruitless. The whole atmopshere is like being back at school, on a bad day, on acid.

When i leave here, i will phone trading standards on the way out the door, to report their illegal software use, and probably throw a few frozen shits into the roofspace, cat turds as well, yes, lots of them.

Sorry for length, but i do feel a little better, just a little though.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Wed 22 Jul 2009, 16:03, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Wow
Kiss of death stuff. When companies start doing this shit, the fans are being warmed up in the background ready for the flinging.

Basically, its "with immediate effect, morale is to be raised. Failure to do so will result in disciplinary action" or that effect.
( I have run out of coke is a little sweaty, Wed 22 Jul 2009, 16:15, Reply)

Quick report them before they report you!

I propose that Goody Cancerjoy is a WITCH!
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 22 Jul 2009, 16:38, Reply)

Don't phone trading standards,
Call FAST. You'll probably get a reward.

While I don't condone shopping most places for copyright infringement as invariably the hardworking IT department get the blame even though they've been asking for licensing money for ages in this case I'll allow it.

I also don't condone the "Federation Against Softwre Theft" incorrectly describing copyright infringement as theft but that's a whole other discussion.
(bill, Wed 22 Jul 2009, 19:59, Reply)