Worst Song Lyrics Ever
Traditionally regarded to be The Humnan League's 'The Lebanon':

Before he leaves the camp he stops
He scans the world outside
And where there used to be some shops
Is where the snipers sometimes hide

I would say that personally the worst I've ever heard is this little nugget from Natasha Bedingfield:

Read some Shelley, Byron and Keats, recited it over a hip hop beat

That makes me want to eat my own eyes. But can you beat it for awfulness?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 27 Jul 2009, 13:28, 50 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

From the man, the visionary that is... Fiddy pence
My flow, my show brought me the doe
That bought me all my fancy things
My crib, my cars, my pools, my jewels
Look nigga I got K-Mart and I ain't change

It doesn't even bloody rhym!
(Is this a good idea? ... Yes this is definitely a good idea, Mon 27 Jul 2009, 13:38, Reply)

Good Lord
that is truly dire, isn't it?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 27 Jul 2009, 13:39, Reply)

Cant think of anything worse at the moment...
Ill keep wracking my brains
(Is this a good idea? ... Yes this is definitely a good idea, Mon 27 Jul 2009, 13:43, Reply)

shit off
it's came up, not k-mart
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 27 Jul 2009, 14:00, Reply)

'dough' not 'doe' he's talking about money, not bambi

( mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Mon 27 Jul 2009, 16:21, Reply)

what about Live and Let Die
'and if this ever-changing world in which we live in'

IN WHICH WE FUCKING LIVE IN?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 27 Jul 2009, 13:40, Reply)

makes you give it a try
then live and let DIIIIEEE
DUN DUN DUN
DUN DUN DUN
DUN DUUUUUUUUUUUUN
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 27 Jul 2009, 13:42, Reply)

'give in and cry' shurely?
.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 27 Jul 2009, 13:44, Reply)

Is it?
I've never actually looked at the lyrics I just sing loudly something that ryhmes
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 27 Jul 2009, 13:45, Reply)

Whilst swigging wine from the bottle.

( thealternativefact, Mon 27 Jul 2009, 13:46, Reply)

'Like a 9-stone cowboy'
etc.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 27 Jul 2009, 13:47, Reply)

I thought it was...
..."in which we're living".

That may just be my brain adjusting things so they make sense.
(ThomsonsPier consumes, Mon 27 Jul 2009, 14:25, Reply)

I thought that
so I looked into it and according to several independent places on the Internet of Truth it's 'in which we live in'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 27 Jul 2009, 14:50, Reply)

fraid not
it is in which we're living
and i feel dirty defending macca cos he's a cock
( mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Mon 27 Jul 2009, 16:22, Reply)

Life by Des'ree
Is a veritable fucking fun-fest of shite lyrics. Por ejemplo, witness:

"Yeah! Oh yeah! Oh life! Oh life!

I'm afraid of the dark
Especially when I'm in a park
And there's no one else around,
Oh I get the shivers.
I don't want to see a ghost,
It's the sight that I fear most
I'd rather have a piece of toast
And watch the evening news"

Closely followed by:

"Chorus:
Life, oh life! Oh life! Oh life! doo,
Doot doot dooo... Life, oh life! Oh life!
Oh life! doo doot doo

I'm a superstitious girl
I'm the worst in the world
Never walk under the ladders,
I keep a rabbit's tail.
I'll take you up on the dare,
Anytime, anywhere;
Name the place,
I'll be there,
Bungee jumping, I don't care!"

Quite.
(The Apeface Cherub is not a cunty-uber-cunt, Mon 27 Jul 2009, 13:43, Reply)

OK question closed
we have a loser.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 27 Jul 2009, 13:44, Reply)

Me or her?
If she loses, does that mean I win?
(The Apeface Cherub is not a cunty-uber-cunt, Mon 27 Jul 2009, 13:47, Reply)

You win
Des' loses.

Big fucking time - the ghost/toast line is execrable in extremis.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 27 Jul 2009, 13:49, Reply)

Personally i can relate to those lyrics
Give me a piece of toast, and the evening news over a ghost any day
(Is this a good idea? ... Yes this is definitely a good idea, Mon 27 Jul 2009, 13:50, Reply)

Aye
I reckon that she must have been either pissed, or someone dared her to release this steaming heap of crap. The first time I heard it on the radio, I actually disbelieved my ears. They were not amused.
(The Apeface Cherub is not a cunty-uber-cunt, Mon 27 Jul 2009, 13:52, Reply)

thank you
I was just scanning the thread to see if anyone had posted the lyrics to this abhorrent piece of shite so that I didn't have to.

worst.song.evar
(b3tamax Mate, you're fat and I'll throw you in the river, Mon 27 Jul 2009, 14:37, Reply)

These would be in the competition:
We made the mountains shake with laughter as we played
Hiding in our corner of the world
Then we did the demon dance and rushed to nevermore
Threw away the key and locked the door

Except they were written by Dio and he is the fucking BEST EVER.
( thealternativefact, Mon 27 Jul 2009, 13:46, Reply)

Likewise Sabbath
'Generals gathered in their masses
Just like witches at black masses'
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 27 Jul 2009, 13:49, Reply)

Shakira - Wherever, Whenever
Lucky that my breasts are small and humble,
So you dont confuse them with mountains...


Easy mistake!
(Is this a good idea? ... Yes this is definitely a good idea, Mon 27 Jul 2009, 13:47, Reply)

I'm sure I could tell them apart
by feel.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 27 Jul 2009, 13:52, Reply)

Damn
I was going to say this but my internet crapped out. The rest of that verse isn't any better either!

Lucky that my lips not only mumble
They spill kisses like a fountain
Lucky that my breasts are small and humble
So you don't confuse them with mountains
Lucky I have strong legs like my mother
To run for cover when I need it
And these two eyes are for no other
The day you leave we'll cry a river
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 27 Jul 2009, 13:54, Reply)

Hmmm...
The lyrics to Black Betty are pretty damned odd.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Mon 27 Jul 2009, 13:51, Reply)

Leadbelly originally - from Wikipedia:
The origin and meaning of the lyrics are subject to debate. Some sources claim the song is derived from an 18th century marching cadence about a flint-lock musket with a black painted stock; the "bam-ba-lam" lyric referring to the sound of the gunfire. Soldiers in the field were said to be "hugging Black Betty". In this interpretation, the rifle was superseded by its "child", a rifle with an unpainted walnut stock known as a "Brown Bess".

The earliest meaning of "Black Betty" in the United States (from at least 1827) was a liquor bottle. In January 1736, Benjamin Franklin published The Drinker's Dictionary in the Pennsylvania Gazette offering 228 round-about phrases for being drunk. One of those phrases is "He's kiss'd black Betty."

The term can also be taken as a then contemporary reference for a prostitute, a prison bullwhip, or the "paddywagon".

David Hackett Fischer, in his book Albion's Seed: Four British Folkways in America (Oxford University Press, 1989), states that "Black Betty" was a common term for a bottle of whiskey in the borderlands of northern England/southern Scotland, and later in the backcountry areas of the eastern United States.

In an interview (see The Land Where the Blues Began, 1st Edition, Alan Lomax, Pantheon Books, 1993) conducted by Alan Lomax with a former prisoner of the Texas penal farm named Doc Reese (aka "Big Head"), Reese stated that the term "Black Betty" was used by prisoners to refer to the "Black Maria" — the penitentiary transfer wagon.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 27 Jul 2009, 13:59, Reply)

Real Gone Kid
by Deacon Blue, has a line which goes:

"I'll do what I should have did".

Granted, the error was probably deliberate, in order to make 'did' rhyme with 'kid', but lead singer Ricky Ross was a schoolteacher, FFS!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 27 Jul 2009, 13:52, Reply)

I'm serious as cancer, when I say rhythm is a dancer

( Peej, Mon 27 Jul 2009, 14:01, Reply)

*Weeps*
A classic filth-parade.
(The Apeface Cherub is not a cunty-uber-cunt, Mon 27 Jul 2009, 14:14, Reply)

Second Chance by Shinedown. I fucking hate Shinedown.
"I just saw Haley's comet, she waved
Said "Why you always running away?"
Even the man in the moon disappeared
Somewhere in the stratosphere

Tell my mother, tell my father I've done the best I can
To make them realise this is my life, I hope they understand
I'm not angry, I'm just saying
Sometimes goodbye is a second chance"

most terrible fucking bullshit that I have ever had the misfortune of hearing
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 27 Jul 2009, 14:05, Reply)

Very. Bad. Indeed.
.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 27 Jul 2009, 14:06, Reply)

It's almost as bad as 4 Non Blondes 'Whats going on'
which makes my fucking ears bleed even when mentioned
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 27 Jul 2009, 14:10, Reply)

Truly a cavalcade of lyrical faeces
if ever I heard one.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 27 Jul 2009, 14:11, Reply)

a licky boom boom down!

( Peej, Mon 27 Jul 2009, 14:06, Reply)

informer!
skidilidoopdedop* a lick yer bum bum

*because I have NO idea where he says here
(The Apeface Cherub is not a cunty-uber-cunt, Mon 27 Jul 2009, 14:16, Reply)

'Informer
You know say daddy me Snow me-a gon' blame'


Excellent lyrics. They really speak to me, you know?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 27 Jul 2009, 14:35, Reply)

Another Natasha Bedingfield atrocity...
"I wanna have your babies, get serious like crazy"

When I first heard it, I thought she was saying "get serious like rabies".

To be fair, if she had done, it would have rhymed better, and would have given it extra gravitas - rabies is pretty fucking serious.
( TheMagicDwarf is back like ballroom dancing, Mon 27 Jul 2009, 14:35, Reply)

When I grow up...
When I grow up
I wanna see the world
Drive nice cars
I wanna have groupies

Unless you know what that last word is, it sounds like 'boobies'.

Which makes me laugh.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 27 Jul 2009, 14:38, Reply)

Oh.
I thought it was boobies.
( Weejock, Mon 27 Jul 2009, 17:22, Reply)

What is this incoherent babbling that all my friends enjoy so much?
*ahem*

Now that you're mine
We'll find a way
Of chasing the sun
Let me be the one, that shines with you
in the morning, I don't know what to do
two of a kind
We'll find a way
To do what we've done
Let me be the one, that shines with you
And we can slide away, slide away, slide away, away...
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Mon 27 Jul 2009, 14:58, Reply)

is that The Clash?
Because this is:

I'm going to get me a big, big, big
Big, Big car
Then I'm gonna drive, drive, drive
I'm gonna drive so far
Up your boulevard
Up your boulevard
So far up your boulevard
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 27 Jul 2009, 15:00, Reply)

*Shakes fist*

( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Mon 27 Jul 2009, 15:01, Reply)

*drives so far up your boulevard*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 27 Jul 2009, 15:02, Reply)

From the same pen as...
And my dog's been itchin', itchin' in the kitchen once again...
( TheMagicDwarf is back like ballroom dancing, Mon 27 Jul 2009, 15:36, Reply)

and
Slip inside the eye of your mind...


*dies from cringing*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 27 Jul 2009, 15:38, Reply)

Slide Away
Is my favourite Oasis song. Best of a bad bunch though. Well, I say my favourite one, it's the only one I like.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 27 Jul 2009, 19:12, Reply)

...
Am I more than you bargained for? EH??
ooooy been dying to tell you anythee
you are a hair cause dashes too i am this week
lying the brass
missin the balls
RRNNEEAAHH
I'm just the nuts in your bedpost
but sauce in your nyunn? in your song?
drop a hole
make a name
we only sniffing ink.. and the seeping for the roll tear

we're goin down tuuu in a luleelurah
in sugah we're goin down swingin
i'll beer another one with a bullet
i lonely dark cock thats going and pulling
( Peej, Mon 27 Jul 2009, 15:44, Reply)

The Human League have a plethora of atrocious lyrics
In a momentary lapse of taste*, my sister bought the album Dare! by the aforementioned, from which the laughably shite single Don't You Want Me is taken. I don't know the name of the first track, but its chorus will be ingrained on my brain forever:

"Everybody needs love and adventure,
Everybody needs cash to spend,
Everybody needs love and adventure,
Everybody needs two or three friends."

Just two or three, you know. No need to be greedy about it.

I don't think my family or I will ever let her live down that purchase...

*_{Oh, who am I kidding? Her taste in music's always been a bit dubious...}
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 27 Jul 2009, 15:57, Reply)