This is a true story.
No, really.

A local celebrity chav who is always mixed up with the law went about his normal hi-jinkery. He stole a wholesale box of kit-kats from the local Co-op and made off with haste.

The young manager recognsied the stinking criminal and raised the alarm. He was well known to the police this felon, and therefore it wasn't long before the fuzz caught up with him. Mainly because he had a big red box under his right arm.

Upon realising the heat, the unsavoury character fleed, complete with kit-kats. Obviously, he is fairly educated in the art of escaping fat and unhealthy policemen so he managed to give them the slip. Having made significant ground, he decided the best course of action would be to dispose of the evidence.

By eating the kit-kats.

This gluttunous plan was to be his ultimate downfall. The police in a rare act of Sherlock Holmes genius uncovered what you could describe as a paper trail. Or a red paper and foil trail to be precise. Leading to a fucking Oak tree, where the perpetrator was found halfway-up amongst the branches clutching his over-kitkatted stomach.

I have to re-iterate that this story is actually true. Really!
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Tue 28 Jul 2009, 17:13, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

You can put out almost anything with a Free sign on it
and it will be picked up by someone in a very short time.

It's really kind of sad that some people are so desperate that a broken piece of trash looks attractive enough to take home. Great economy we are in right now.
(MichaelS wasn't picked again, Tue 28 Jul 2009, 18:01, Reply)

Don't ever reply to my stories again

( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Tue 28 Jul 2009, 18:17, Reply)