My kettle died after 7 years of service
Put the kettle on late last night and halfway through boiling, it made a loud noise not unlike an electricity substation burning out. I went through into the kitchen and although the kettle carried on boiling, there was smoke coming from beneath. I emptied the water out and turned it over and there was a sall hole with smoke pouring out.

That's not good, thought I, so I said its last rites and took it outside and left it on the garden path just in case it set fire to the wheelie-bin. My eldest took the base outside and left it with the kettle.

This morning, I got ready to go to Comet and buy a replacement and when I left the house, I noticed that someone had taken the old kettle.

So, what examples of utter pikeyness have you encountered in your neighbourhood?
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Tue 28 Jul 2009, 17:03, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Go to Tesco
they have value ones for like £3 and mine is still going strong despite being dropped on the floor twice and drunken people boiling it dry
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 28 Jul 2009, 17:12, Reply)

This is a true story.
No, really.

A local celebrity chav who is always mixed up with the law went about his normal hi-jinkery. He stole a wholesale box of kit-kats from the local Co-op and made off with haste.

The young manager recognsied the stinking criminal and raised the alarm. He was well known to the police this felon, and therefore it wasn't long before the fuzz caught up with him. Mainly because he had a big red box under his right arm.

Upon realising the heat, the unsavoury character fleed, complete with kit-kats. Obviously, he is fairly educated in the art of escaping fat and unhealthy policemen so he managed to give them the slip. Having made significant ground, he decided the best course of action would be to dispose of the evidence.

By eating the kit-kats.

This gluttunous plan was to be his ultimate downfall. The police in a rare act of Sherlock Holmes genius uncovered what you could describe as a paper trail. Or a red paper and foil trail to be precise. Leading to a fucking Oak tree, where the perpetrator was found halfway-up amongst the branches clutching his over-kitkatted stomach.

I have to re-iterate that this story is actually true. Really!
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Tue 28 Jul 2009, 17:13, Reply)

You can put out almost anything with a Free sign on it
and it will be picked up by someone in a very short time.

It's really kind of sad that some people are so desperate that a broken piece of trash looks attractive enough to take home. Great economy we are in right now.
(MichaelS wasn't picked again, Tue 28 Jul 2009, 18:01, Reply)

Don't ever reply to my stories again

( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Tue 28 Jul 2009, 18:17, Reply)