How to make a Top Gear episode
Titles

Clarkson takes the latest BMW/Jag/Porsche/other performance car and power-slides it about the track. Dresses it up as an informative consumer review, even though the vast majority of viewers cannot afford £80k on a new car. One wonders how many people go out and buy a car based on TG's test drives. Occasionally bring out another new car of similar spec and compare them.

Stig tests the car on the track. Time goes on board.

News

Obscure challenge idea: Get three cars (most likely old bangers)
The cars coincidentally match the presenters' perceived personality. (The episodes with the van challenge proves the point. Clarkson: an offensive white-van-man style van, Hammond had a capricious Bedford Rascal style van and May had a slow cumbersome Luton.
Drive vehicles about, one of which will inevitably break down. Time trial on the track amongst other mini-challenges

Star does a lap. (Though after last week's episode, who doesn't want to take Brian Johnson to the pub?)

Part two of the challenge, or alternatively something abstract performed with a car.

Bombshell
End.

Apart from all that though, the programme is beautifully filmed.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Wed 29 Jul 2009, 13:39, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I have to say
that some of the camera work on top gear is absolutely sublime. They have been going a bit OTT now with the car in a dark room with light whooshing over it bit, but the slow frame tyre through some water is always a winner
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 29 Jul 2009, 13:55, Reply)

You do have an off button, you know.

(Slip Digby is a meat puppet, Wed 29 Jul 2009, 14:03, Reply)

indeed
Which is why I don't bother watching TG any more.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 29 Jul 2009, 14:04, Reply)

Do you have an off button?
*looks*
*finds something else* oh my
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 29 Jul 2009, 14:07, Reply)

I could do
I still watch the show. I didn't say I didn't like it, it's just far too predictable. And furthermore, James May is by far the funniest of the three.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Wed 29 Jul 2009, 14:08, Reply)