I thought I'd bring this discussion here
I posted this vid of old Top Gear on /links

www.b3ta.com/links/Ye_Olde_Top_Gear

Anybody used to watch the old TG when it was informative and reviewed cars that the viewers could actually afford and own rather than test-driving cars of £100k+ on a private track. The sort of cars that are only going to be purchased by people who aren't going to be in on Sunday evening watching telly.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Wed 29 Jul 2009, 13:05, 52 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Fifth Gear is the new Top Gear
and they don't have it in for Marinas so WIN
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 29 Jul 2009, 13:08, Reply)

I want
the BBC to show the really old TG from 1978 when Noel Edmonds and Angela Ripon would've driven Mk2 Escorts and Vauxhall Cavaliers.

BBC4 would be a suitable channel.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Wed 29 Jul 2009, 13:11, Reply)

I think I'd enjoy this
more than the Jeremy Clarkson Show new Top Gear
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 29 Jul 2009, 13:12, Reply)

Fifth Gear is Arse.
Easily the most boring programme on television, and it's presented by the two worst presenters there are. It can be fixed, though:

1) Bring back Vicki Butler-Henderson
2) Sack Tom Ford and Ed Thingy because they're both shit
3) Give Plato and Needell presenting duties

Fixed!
(Slip Digby is a meat puppet, Wed 29 Jul 2009, 13:18, Reply)

I agree
Fifth Gear is shit. FACT.

Bring back the Butler-Henderson!!!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Wed 29 Jul 2009, 13:20, Reply)

a Marina won their TG ice driving challenge the other week...
...let's face it, a generation of British cars from the 1970s/80s were crap, a fact not lost on the public.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Wed 29 Jul 2009, 13:18, Reply)

Then they smashed it
I'm not saying the Marina's a good car because it's not. But smashing them up for no reason when there aren't many left is quite cuntish. They are a part of British motoring history whether people like it or not and until we start flattening BNP members with pianos I think we should lay off the Marinas
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 29 Jul 2009, 13:20, Reply)

You have a point....
...there are plenty of Allegros left, not to mention those awful Rootes Group monstrosities that haven't yet died.

Given the choice of seeing a Marina bite the dust or a Lancia Stratos, I know which I'd rather see get crushed by a piano.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Wed 29 Jul 2009, 13:23, Reply)

Can I throw in the
Triumph Dolomite too?! I hate that car!!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Wed 29 Jul 2009, 13:26, Reply)

The Dolly Sprint wasn't bad...
...Twin cams and sixteen valves, the BMW 3 series of its day.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Wed 29 Jul 2009, 13:28, Reply)

I guess I just never want to see
cars destroyed for no reason if they are taxed and MOT'd.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 29 Jul 2009, 13:29, Reply)

To be fair, I think that anything British Leyland had a hand in should be ritually crushed, burned and fired in to outer space.
Except the Land Rover.

I might be being deliberately contentious here...
(Slip Digby is a meat puppet, Wed 29 Jul 2009, 13:31, Reply)

Or the Mini...
...they may have rusted with a fanatical zeal, but they were great to drive.

Actually, the Princess was much maligned too and deserved a better press - if only the strike-happy communists building it had put as much effort into their job as they did striking then the British car industry might not be a historical footnote.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Wed 29 Jul 2009, 13:33, Reply)

Gooooodbye
Minis!

Damn just remembered the Triumph GT6 will be gone too... and I guess the Stag is gone too... *has a little cry*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 29 Jul 2009, 13:33, Reply)

Nah, the mini can sod off too.
I mean, I liked the original minis, but they can't be excused for spawning the new overpriced monstrosities that are driven solely by people who pop their collars up.
(Slip Digby is a meat puppet, Wed 29 Jul 2009, 13:35, Reply)

You do have a point on Triumphs though.
They can stay. Am I reasonable, or what?
(Slip Digby is a meat puppet, Wed 29 Jul 2009, 13:36, Reply)

Ah but then there is the TR7
It was described by an incredulous six year old PJM as "shit", a judgement that I stand by to this very day.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Wed 29 Jul 2009, 13:39, Reply)

There's a choice
The TR7 or the Fiat X1/9

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Triumph_TR7
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fiat_X1/9
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Wed 29 Jul 2009, 13:50, Reply)

I'll have the X/19
Within the unappealing wedgy 70s blandness was a mid-engined two seater with a revvy engine and an entertaining character.

The TR7 was simply a donkey.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Wed 29 Jul 2009, 14:54, Reply)

I'm not a fan on Minis either
any incarnation of them. Especially the clubman.

Still wouldn't get a nice working one and fire it through a caravan though.

And yeah you're soooooooooo reasonable
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 29 Jul 2009, 13:41, Reply)

Absolutely
look at the Herald for example.

But, I liked these things when I was a nipper

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/BMC_ADO17
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Wed 29 Jul 2009, 13:45, Reply)

My first car
Was a Triumph Acclaim. It was ace.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 29 Jul 2009, 13:52, Reply)

What Slip Digby and PJM said
I owned a couple of old school minis before the cost of upkeep became prohibitive. (By prohibitive I mean no amount of luck, money or sexual favours to the mechanic would keep it on the road) and they were filled with epic win despite being a bit shit. You might have wet feet where the sills had rusted and the rain was coming in, but you could go round corners faster than the speed of light with your arse less than 18 inches off the floor. Ideally making zooming noises despite being in your 20s.

The new so called minis are not minis in any sense of the word - they're BMWs, often driven by stereotypical BMW drivers. Bah. Cocks, in other words.
Also, now I drive a purple fiesta small children, students and other mini drivers don't wave at me any more :(
(berk, Wed 29 Jul 2009, 13:47, Reply)

it all seems a tad twee and dull now....
...let's face it, a 1.4L Vauxhall Astra for example is very, very boring. In fact, Clarkson actually got the 1995 review of the Vectra spot on - it was built with all the excitement engineered out and some mechanical ineptitude engineered in. I drove one once and don't understand why more Vectra owners didn't commit suicide.

Give me donutting Astons, wheelspinning Ferraris and shouty V12 Lamborghinis any day. I'd rather see that on telly than own one of the wretched things. If I need to consult anything before parting with my own cash on a car then What Car? does an adequate job.

As it happens, new TG has covered both the electric Tesla and a Fuel Cell Honda prototype - the latter is a car I'd spend my own money on.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Wed 29 Jul 2009, 13:16, Reply)

^this
I don't watch tv on a sunday afternoon to help make an informed decision on what car to buy, I watch to drool over supercars and watch pieces of crap have pianos dropped on them.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 29 Jul 2009, 13:18, Reply)

Exactly!
I know what cars I can afford out there in my price range, they're all shit!! I wanna see flames, I wanna see explosions and I wanna see JAMES MAY!!! :)
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Wed 29 Jul 2009, 13:19, Reply)

I like the German lass who drives round the Nurburgring...
...car driving MILFy goodness with added Teutonic charm.

*edited for thigh rubbingness*
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Wed 29 Jul 2009, 13:20, Reply)

She is wicked!!

(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Wed 29 Jul 2009, 13:21, Reply)

That actually hurt
:(
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 29 Jul 2009, 13:21, Reply)

I have to say
I quie enjoy watching TG when they have on cars I am never ever ever going to be able to afford. I like it for the same reason I like going to car shows and looking at the flashy new concepts rather than the new Fiestas and family wagons... its fun, its just a bit of harmless dreamy fun! :)
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Wed 29 Jul 2009, 13:16, Reply)

^ this

(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Wed 29 Jul 2009, 13:18, Reply)

Thank you!
I agree with you, I enjoy watching the Astons and the Lambos! :)
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Wed 29 Jul 2009, 13:21, Reply)

Ok I like watching cars I'll never own
as much as the next petrol head and I really enjoy watching the Star in the reasonably priced car. But with the exception of the fantastic spanish time trials last week, a lot of it seems to be filler or Clarkson going over the top even for him.

I liked their bit on the new Fiesta which was totally ridiculous, but good to watch and actually featured a car "normal" people can afford. Most of their road tests in normal cars are lets race them on a track and see how much damage we can do to each others cars for no good reason.

I sound really miserable about this, I still watch it but it's more out of habit and then getting really surprised when they do anything entertaining as opposed to when it was always entertaining. I mean CGI dinosaurs? Really?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 29 Jul 2009, 13:25, Reply)

Hehehe I will give you that, the CGI dinosaurs were an odd addition... and I like dinosaurs!
I will also admit that so much of the show is staged now it does get a little tiresome. I can sort of tell when a Captain Slow joke is going to be made etc but I still enjoy the show.

I think with so much telly these days made on the cheap about fatties getting thin, kids having babies, just crappy documentaries, I enjoy seeing a bit of cash being thrown about on TG, it makes my Sundays happy! :)
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Wed 29 Jul 2009, 13:31, Reply)

I really can't be bothered with TG any more
It's just contrived crap.

I do watch Fifth Gear on occasion though, as I like Plato and Needell's stuff.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 29 Jul 2009, 13:22, Reply)

Clarkson IS a parody...
...he freely acknowledges this and exploits it.

Personally, I'd rather watch him than the eco-mentalists, even though I agree that the days of fossil fuel powered supercars are most definitely numbered.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Wed 29 Jul 2009, 13:30, Reply)

Would you bring back Quentin Wilson as well?
He is a cock of the highest, highest order.
(Slip Digby is a meat puppet, Wed 29 Jul 2009, 13:32, Reply)

It's true story time kids!
My dad actually went to a dinner somewhere and was sat next to Quentin. The conversation obviously turned to cars and Quentin asked what my dad drove, a Vectra SRi, cue long winded rant about how shit they were. My dad didn't really bother replying.

Upon leaving the dinner Quentin's porche (or whatever he was driving) had a flat tyre leaving my dad to happily zoom off in his vectra hopefully spraying gravel into the watery eyes of Quentin (but that last bit is just wishful thinking on my part)

That story is actually really fucking shit but I've already typed it out now so you'll have to read it
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 29 Jul 2009, 13:39, Reply)

There is no point being a knob about it...
...a lot of people who drove Vectras didn't do so by choice, they were bought as company cars. Even if someone had sluffed £22k on one, I wouldn't be rude to them about it.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Wed 29 Jul 2009, 13:46, Reply)

Nah
my dad got his Sri dirt cheap and it was surprisingly quick and comfy. Off the line you could easily beat most of the boy racer types who spent twice as much on their shitboxes
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 29 Jul 2009, 13:53, Reply)

Fair play...
...I applied the same reasoning when I bought an Alfa 156 V6.

Disappointed? Not a bit!
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Wed 29 Jul 2009, 14:46, Reply)

V6
you say...nice..although i assume it must be quite thirsty...

i have a regular 156, which is a nice car, but doesn't really get het up till about 4000rpm. the JTD 147 i had before though was an absolute beast. still can't believe i wasn't arrested, killed or maimed driving it though.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Wed 29 Jul 2009, 16:35, Reply)

I know nothing about cars
But those Top Gear presenters with their completely scripted faux-ad libbed jokes and *being surprised* and their stupid *oh you're amazing Clarkson* *No YOUR amazing Hammond* *YES we are both AMAZING* stupid stupidness.
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Wed 29 Jul 2009, 13:40, Reply)

He called his daughter
Mercedes too.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Wed 29 Jul 2009, 14:17, Reply)

How to make a Top Gear episode
Titles

Clarkson takes the latest BMW/Jag/Porsche/other performance car and power-slides it about the track. Dresses it up as an informative consumer review, even though the vast majority of viewers cannot afford £80k on a new car. One wonders how many people go out and buy a car based on TG's test drives. Occasionally bring out another new car of similar spec and compare them.

Stig tests the car on the track. Time goes on board.

News

Obscure challenge idea: Get three cars (most likely old bangers)
The cars coincidentally match the presenters' perceived personality. (The episodes with the van challenge proves the point. Clarkson: an offensive white-van-man style van, Hammond had a capricious Bedford Rascal style van and May had a slow cumbersome Luton.
Drive vehicles about, one of which will inevitably break down. Time trial on the track amongst other mini-challenges

Star does a lap. (Though after last week's episode, who doesn't want to take Brian Johnson to the pub?)

Part two of the challenge, or alternatively something abstract performed with a car.

Bombshell
End.

Apart from all that though, the programme is beautifully filmed.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Wed 29 Jul 2009, 13:39, Reply)

I have to say
that some of the camera work on top gear is absolutely sublime. They have been going a bit OTT now with the car in a dark room with light whooshing over it bit, but the slow frame tyre through some water is always a winner
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 29 Jul 2009, 13:55, Reply)

You do have an off button, you know.

(Slip Digby is a meat puppet, Wed 29 Jul 2009, 14:03, Reply)

indeed
Which is why I don't bother watching TG any more.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 29 Jul 2009, 14:04, Reply)

Do you have an off button?
*looks*
*finds something else* oh my
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 29 Jul 2009, 14:07, Reply)

I could do
I still watch the show. I didn't say I didn't like it, it's just far too predictable. And furthermore, James May is by far the funniest of the three.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Wed 29 Jul 2009, 14:08, Reply)

So?
Affordable cars are boring. Top Gear is awesome and fun.
( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Wed 29 Jul 2009, 13:43, Reply)

So's sex
but a bit of variety and less predictability is never a bad thing.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Wed 29 Jul 2009, 14:05, Reply)