BGB's thread has reminded me of a favourite story told by brother about a mate of his
he had spied an attractive lady drinking alone at the bar he was in (it was a swanky place, he's a london lawyer type).

He got talking to this woman and it transpired that she was recently divorced. He says to her "Divorced eh? What do you do for dick?"

Her response: "I get by"

Any stories you'd like to share?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:31, 15 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I once drove to the south west
and saw row upon row of people sitting on balconies, reading papers and eating croissants.
( djtrialprice, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:35, Reply)

it's astonishing how much of that happens down here

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:38, Reply)

"What do you do for dick?"
That is just fantastic. I'm going to ask that to the next female stranger I see.
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:45, Reply)

Expect the reply:
"I make him some sandwiches."
( djtrialprice, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:55, Reply)

Probably not even that
Just stuff some meat in a pitta.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 15:01, Reply)

Your brothers mate
sounds like a knob. But I like her response.
(berk, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 15:19, Reply)

he's comedy
it's not the sort of thing he would say seriously.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 15:25, Reply)

Ah, fair enough
I positively hastened to judge when I saw the words 'swanky london lawyer type', but I'll let him off if he's okay really.
(berk, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 15:31, Reply)

he's got the money of a swanky london lawyer type
but he is originally from plymouth and is one of the funniest fuckers I've ever met.

he once pissed all over his brand new hat.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 15:34, Reply)

I told someone I'd never met to....
"Man the fuck up or get the fuck out!" at Agnostics house on Friday.

He (the bloke, not AA) was crying because someone had had a shot of his vodka!!!

AA was not in total agreement with my course of action but was in full agreement with the sentiment.

It filled me with glee :0)
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 16:12, Reply)

crying because someone had a shot of his vodka....
what a pansy. he should have been drinking babycham (it's booze f't'baby)
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 16:17, Reply)

Yup
That's the Gods honest truth!!! I may have been a bit more aggressive than neccessary but he was being a cock, and AA was wasting valuable drinking time trying to placate him.

He didn't foresee the whirling ball of fury that was Spikeypickle :0)
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 16:22, Reply)

You should've stomped the bitch
What a fucking gaylord.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 16:36, Reply)

It was quite tempting
but it was AAs house and his guest so that might have been a little bit rude.
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 16:43, Reply)

Hmmm, tricky
OK, you should have grabbed the vodka and taken a massive swig out of it, and then offered it to the room whilst glaring right at him.

But then that would be similarly rude.

I'm sorry, I'm all out of 'things you should have done', it seems.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 16:53, Reply)