Oh no then you are surely fail

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 20:20, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

I saw you! In HSH!
I'm going to hug you and forcefeed you cakes. Then put kittens down your bra.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 20:23, Reply)

Then I shall have to say fuck off and mean it

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 20:24, Reply)

Too late.
Here, have a cushion. And a porcelain pig.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 20:26, Reply)

evening roota m'dear...
how're you this fine evening?
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Tue 1 Sep 2009, 20:24, Reply)

I'm great luv.
I got a food processor and a sewing machine for my 30th. I have to wait more than 8 years for my kitchen?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 20:28, Reply)

i could fair do with a sewing machine...
perhaps if i kid my family on next year i can fool them into buying me one?
yeah, getting a new kitchen is a mighty splendid thing. looking forward to the installation.
think i'm gonna get pissed this evening, got some westons vintage cider in the fridge...
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Tue 1 Sep 2009, 20:33, Reply)

I'm going to try not to drink this evening.
I've had enough the weekend.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 20:44, Reply)

you were gonna buy me beer tonight...
or maybe you "forgot" about that?
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Tue 1 Sep 2009, 20:45, Reply)

Oh, me purse is in the *cough*
And the erm, oh look, there's Richard Stilgoe... *runs*
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 20:51, Reply)

next time i'm 40 your purse had better watch out...
that's all i'm willing to say on the matter.
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Tue 1 Sep 2009, 20:55, Reply)

Here, here's a bottle of Mann's brown ale.
Don't say I never get you owt
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 20:57, Reply)

Mann's Brown?
classy chick!
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Tue 1 Sep 2009, 20:59, Reply)

That's Duchess to you

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 21:07, Reply)

righty-ho...
Duchess...

mmmmmmmmm, Duchess, mmmmmmmmmmm....

it's got a sordid sort of sound to it, the way i'm saying it...
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Tue 1 Sep 2009, 21:09, Reply)

Scouse harpy.
So a lot of my mates call me Duchess.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 21:13, Reply)

The puppies she keeps there already
would eat them for lunch.
(witchfinder general finding witches called richard, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 20:24, Reply)

I call them booboo and shitface
they're my friends
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 20:32, Reply)

Booboo is my favourite.
Shitface tastes of stale tobacco. But Booboo tastes of custard.
(witchfinder general finding witches called richard, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 20:33, Reply)

You've tasted my puppies?
No wonder they were snappy
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 20:37, Reply)

Puppies don't eat kittens!
They eat chips and cheese. They drink lager, bourbon and white wine.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 20:32, Reply)

bullshit
They eat condoms, tampons, film cases, plastic forks, toy trucks, bits of string, g strings and glitter.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 20:39, Reply)

Shush.
You're not supposed to tell anyone about that.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 20:43, Reply)

Then what would be the point in running puppy classes?
Certainly not to tell owners that their ickle wickle ball of fluff will eat their whole fucking house by the time they come home and then need a trip to the big scary vets because they weren't smart enough to buy a puppy crate. Surely not!
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 20:45, Reply)

Can you warn me if you're going to say 'vet'.
The cat just sensed me reading it and bit my hip.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 20:49, Reply)

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
No
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 20:49, Reply)

Twice in two days he's bit my hip/waist.
He's evil. Like you.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 20:58, Reply)

You must have annoyed him

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 21:00, Reply)

No. He just knows I crave his love and affection
so he toys with me and abuses his power
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 21:05, Reply)

smart cat ,)

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 21:09, Reply)

Sykes
to my Nancy
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 21:18, Reply)