dead babies
The girl next to me has come back to work after a long absence that was initially maternity leave...however her baby died soon after being born with a condition she herself suffered from when she was born.

Within 5 minutes of sitting herself down, she pulls out a photo in a frame, of her now deceased baby. A decent photo, nicely lit etc. But the question is, would you draw strength from looking at a picture of your baby that only lived for a week or two. Open yourself up to the 'oh, is that your baby' type observations that will inevitably come from folk as they see the picture. Personally, i would have the photo, but i wouldn't bring it into my work, i think grief is something to be suffered in private.

I don't have a problem with the picture, but i can only imagine that in the long term it would bring or at least prolong the emotional turmoil.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 10:49, 18 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Hmmm
It could make folk feel a little uncomfortable:

Me: Ahhh, is that your baby?
Her: Yeah but shes dead.
Me: Oh *tootles off feeling awkward*
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 10:56, Reply)

^^
I don't care for this behaviour much, being a blokey man man.
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 10:57, Reply)

There was a guy on Come Dine With Me...
... who embalmed his own mum, and kept a photo of his handy work in the spare bedroom.

It's the most creepiest thing I've ever seen.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 10:58, Reply)

That is super-creepy-crazy
Trust Come Dine With Me to unearth that gentleman...
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 10:59, Reply)

Ooooooh
Now that is creepy!! *shudders*
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Wed 9 Sep 2009, 11:00, Reply)

Did he run a motel, by any chance?

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 11:40, Reply)

I would have to agree with you
Bringing the picture to work would surly make it even more difficult for her to get through the day, and as you rightfully say, open up the conversational route of 'oh is that your baby'.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Wed 9 Sep 2009, 11:02, Reply)

well
the situation could be that she simply doesn't care what anyone thinks and has come to terms with the situation and draws strength from the fact she can look at her, 'brave wee boy'.

but i'm sure it definitely will lead to many an uncomfortable shuffle.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 11:06, Reply)

This could indeed be the case,
and I hope for her sake she is drawing strength from the photo etc. I think I find that hard to get my head around because if I were in her shoes I couldn't have the reminder on my desk of what had happened, it would be too much for me... but then everyone is different I suppose!?
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Wed 9 Sep 2009, 11:09, Reply)

This happened where I worked, except.....
The umbilical cord usually has 2 arteries and one vein but hers only had the one artery. The baby died in the womb and she had to give birth to it. It was very underdeveloped and deformed. It was incredibly distressing for her as she had been trying for a baby for a long time. She had a photo of her dead baby on her desk. Nobody quite new what to say to her and she found herself avoided a lot of the time.
( Peej, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 11:24, Reply)

oh for fuck sake
that's just uncalled for. that would be like taking asnapshot of someone who had just been run over, and mounting it for posterity.....very ogrish.com
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 11:26, Reply)

Seriously?
Somebody should have taken her to the doctor. That's not right. She probably drove herself insane by having that photo there.
EDIT: And freaked everyone out.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 11:29, Reply)

How nice to see the usual stream of narrow-minded, self-promoting bullshit responses.
You all know what you'd do in situations others face, do you? You know what you'd want and need and how you'd react, and you feel that this puts you in a position to decide what others should and shouldn't do?
You feel uncomfortable when faced with the grief of other people?
MTFU you spineless cunts.
( Bullymia is only hated by people, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 11:33, Reply)

wind yer neck in
as i said, i have no problem with the photo, and i explained what i would do in such a situation, as opposed to just *reacting*. it doesn't make me feel uncomfortable, but it may lead to uncomfortable situations in the future, for others.

having the picture of the deformed DEAD baby, is another thing altogether.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 11:39, Reply)

Indeed.
And I never said what I would do, or whether it was right or wrong. I just said what happened, and what happened was, people avoided her.
( Peej, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 11:54, Reply)

*takes the bait*
How are any of the repsonces narrow-minded and self-promoting?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 12:02, Reply)

If my child was to die
I would have his photo with me and I'd probably show it to people or leave it where it could be seen.

Why?

Because otherwise it would be as if he'd never lived.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 11:41, Reply)

poor poor woman
I'm not sure what I'd do - and hope I don't have to find out - but agree with chickenlady - it's about acknowledging the child's life. If the photo is of when the baby was alive, then I don't see the problem with it - but a photo of a dead baby seems a bit morbid to me, and I think I'd prefer to keep it private.
( ascorbate, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 12:07, Reply)