One of my dad's favourites
from back in the day when Scotland actually had some people who knew what a football was:

Down the line the train came puffing
Scotland two, England nothing.

Edit: Scotland never could beat England very often, and so any victory was talked about for many years thereafter. A bit like England in 1966, actually...
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 21 Sep 2009, 14:58, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

When did this happen?
1892?
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 21 Sep 2009, 15:03, Reply)

According to www.englandfootballonline.com/Opp/OppSco.html it was either 1910, 1925, 1931, 1935 or 1974
(b3tamax Mate, you're fat and I'll throw you in the river, Mon 21 Sep 2009, 15:35, Reply)

It would have been
1974. As I would have been but a nipper then, and hence impressionable enough that, 35 years later, I still remember my dad saying it.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 21 Sep 2009, 15:58, Reply)

Was that before you invented battered pizza?

( @RBFesquire Good luck b3ta, was nice knowing you. So long., Mon 21 Sep 2009, 18:22, Reply)