I don't know if they do this in Blighty...
but back when I lived in the Fatherland, at the middle school I attended during lunch the pupils would be offered fluoride tablets to take before their meal. Now, at the time I thought that Prefects handing out little pink pills from old plastic buckets could only mean one thing: Unhygienic Mind Control. So I always refused the pills.

Of course, twenty years down the line my teeth are starting to dissolve; so what do you regret about your childhood?
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 15:01, 33 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I just saw a photo of a girl I fancied at school.
I should have asked her out.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 15:05, Reply)

A recent photo?
Because I'm pretty sure that social networking sites were only invented so that nerds could laugh at the popular girls at their school who have grown up to be bloated, herpetic single mothers.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 15:07, Reply)

yep
here it is stalker fans


now she has a boyfriend, and he's unsuprisingly much better looking than I am.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 15:08, Reply)

Christ
Catch it. Kill it. Bin Eat it.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 15:09, Reply)

I'm going to her birthday party on saturday,
maybe she'll have some hot friends with terrible terrible taste in men.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 15:10, Reply)

If they've got Daddy issues or too much alcohol in their system
they'll be up for anything
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 15:11, Reply)

I'll charm them with my patented "getting hammered and doing something stupid" approach.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 15:13, Reply)

Don't use a claw hammer though, too messy
go for a medium-sized tent mallet
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 15:15, Reply)

This claw-hammer things really taken off!

( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 15:33, Reply)

Like a pigeon made of animosity

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 15:36, Reply)

always a winner

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 15:25, Reply)

That's for true
makin' love to you is such a thrill
sexy thing
sexy thing, you
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 15:30, Reply)

Absolutely everything.

( girlinthehole, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 15:06, Reply)

Even playing conkers?

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 15:07, Reply)

Especially the conkers.
And refusing to play kiss-catch with the boys.
( girlinthehole, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 15:12, Reply)

i see
a pattern emerging
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 15:14, Reply)

Ahhh.... kiss chase
When my older brother forced me to play that with girls his age it was one of the defining moments of my life. I can't remember her name, but there was a girl with blonde hair and massive lips who made my peepee go 'ba-doing-doing-doing'.

Anyway, back to your heartache. It's never too late, BGB. Catch me!

*runs*
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 15:15, Reply)

I can't.
I'm shy.
( girlinthehole, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 15:16, Reply)

Alright then, you run

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 15:18, Reply)

Ok!
But if you catch me then no tongues.
( girlinthehole, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 15:20, Reply)

Spoilsport
*catches*

*slips in a little tongue*
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 15:21, Reply)

I regret not having gone to school with you
I would have been the best bully you ever had!
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 15:18, Reply)

I was somewhere near the middle of the food chain
There were bullies above me, but I got to pick on the geeks and lardos, so it was alright.

To pick on me you would have had to have been popular or bigger than me, and I'm guessing it's the latter?
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 15:21, Reply)

I was neither big or popular
I was the weird one who liked rock music and had sticky-out ears :0(

*sigh*
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 15:36, Reply)

OH NOE
You were.... me?
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 15:37, Reply)

No silly!
I am Roota
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 16:12, Reply)

this has reminded me
when I was in my first year at uni I had come back home for a holiday and was out on the town with some mates. we bumped into some girls we knew from school, and with them was one of the quiet studious girls who was remembered as being quite plain.

my eyes almost fell out she was so smokin' hot. turned out that she was at the same uni as me as well. we hit it off, she liked my sideburns and showed me her tattoo in an almost rude place....

exchanged numbers, tried to arrange a drink at uni a few times. it never happened, that's the end of that story.

I'd forgotten though and have now remembered just how fucking hot she was.

I shall stalk her out on facebook!
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 15:35, Reply)

This is why they invented the internet
HUZZAH!
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 15:36, Reply)

too fucking right it is
took me seconds to find her and send the request
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 15:37, Reply)

I smell restraining orders
and a relationship break-up in your very near future.

It's all win
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 15:39, Reply)

I'll try and be surreptitious about it

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 15:49, Reply)

surreptitious smug
( girlinthehole, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 15:57, Reply)

that was just mean

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 16:05, Reply)