i had to walk out of the room
my wife was getting slightly agitated earlier with my little boy while getting him ready for bed. (he's three and a half) she was asking him to hand her something and he turned with the most innocent little face and casually informed her;

"i can't"
"give it to me NOW!"
"i can't"
"why not"
"because i have no hands"

I had to walk out of the room. my wife was livid. but you had to admire the wee fellas cheek.

at the risk of sounding like an ITV 'send in your videos' pile of crap:

what's the funniest thing a child has said to you?
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Mon 19 Oct 2009, 22:21, 6 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Aged five or so
I used to part company with people I didn't like by shouting "good riddance to bad rubbish!" I'd say it to anyone from random old ladies on trains to passport inspectors.
(raymond "three griddle pans" luxury yacht lovin' the christmas action, Mon 19 Oct 2009, 22:28, Reply)

I got told by my friends kid
a few weeks ago "Sue, you talk funny and it sounds stupid".
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Mon 19 Oct 2009, 22:46, Reply)

Oh Yes...
We keep a list....

Anything our delightful 2 and 3 year old offspring come up with, gets recorded on 'the list' (an A4 sheet stuck to the fridge).

My current favourite is 'Jewseum'. According to the youngest, you can go to the Dinosaur Jewseum, the Rocket Jewseum (or Science Museum) or more importantly, the 'Horse Poo Jewseum' (London Transport Museum where they have delightfully recreated 1800's London with horse-drawn carriages, complete with plastic horse-poo).

There's something about the way they interpret things and (try to) repeat them.

Aparently we went on an "Arse-Lane" (airplane) last year - although given Ryanair's reputation, "arse" wasn't a strong enough description.
( HSDriver was probably still at work on, Mon 19 Oct 2009, 23:13, Reply)

The Manchester science museum has mock-ups of Victorian outside toilets
with wooden seats. Kids can crawl underneath and stick their heads up through the hole. Great fun.
(Juan Quar is clinging to her front teeth on, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 8:25, Reply)

ahh Jewseums....
They've got one at Dachau, I believe.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 9:00, Reply)

a few good uns
My then 2.5 year-old daughter, while I was changing her. ``Daddy, little boys have a penis, and little girls have a menorah.''

My daughter, when she was just over three. I was watching a documentary on the Iranian revolution, and there was a clip of the Ayatollah giving one of his fire and brimstone speeches. She looked up from her book, and said ``Daddy, why is the Santa angry?''
(tuqueboy has been in a medically -induced coma since, Wed 21 Oct 2009, 1:12, Reply)