Step 2 was going to be admit the cuntiest thing you've ever done
which in your case would be growing that beard
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 12:06, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

just because it makes his face look like a big vagina
doesn't automatically make him a cunt
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 12:07, Reply)

You're a fine one to talk.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 12:08, Reply)

thanks :-D

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 12:09, Reply)

Hairy faces = sore vaginas

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 12:15, Reply)

Berts face = No vagina for him
Berts face + paper bag = okay but no cuddling afterwards.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 12:17, Reply)

Hahaha
It's funny because it's true. That and my hideously deformed internet penis
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 12:19, Reply)

there's a special technique
plus, my beard is long enough to be soft
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 12:17, Reply)

Even my short beard hair is soft
I use conditioner as a shaving cream. It's cheaper and better than pretty much anything else.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 12:18, Reply)

I've tried that
but didn't find it worked that well. think I might be doing it wrong though. or Mrs V uses the wrong conditioner
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 12:20, Reply)

As long as it's not supermarket own brand
you should be all right. I just buy whatever is on the cheapest two for one offer. I'm currently using Alberto Balsam tea tree and mint. It's all tingly like that Original Source stuff.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 12:22, Reply)

I use the mint shower gel
I used the mint shaving gel for a while. almost froze my face off.

I'll give the conditioner thing a go. I need a shave tonight. might be that it doesn't work because I only shave once a week, so it gets quite long
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 12:23, Reply)

Yeah, more often is better
and make sure you're using a sharp blade, especially if you have coarse hair.

Mine shouts "Cock!" a lot, so I need a very sharp razor.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 12:26, Reply)

I can't be arsed to shave more often
even though I quite enjoy it

most of my face is covered with beard or sideburns anyway, so it doesn't really matter if the intervening bit is stubbly.

I've been using a gilette fusion stealth ultra mega power or something. the many bladed vibrating one. Works a treat
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 12:29, Reply)

I used conditioner this morning, al's a liar
It makes your skin feel soft and lovely, but it makes you look like you've been bukkake'd again
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 12:23, Reply)

You're supposed to wash it off
now post my apology to Poppet bitch!

Edit - Awww, thanks.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 12:26, Reply)

I can't see how she could possibly not forgive you now
let's take OT back to the way it used to be, good clean fun with only a little bit of cuntiness thrown in

GAYLORD
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 12:29, Reply)

MOTHER BUMMER


Edit - your mum, not mine
(Bazongaloid, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 12:30, Reply)

I would bum my mum
but I'd be scared of accidentally aborting hers and your mum's anal baby
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 12:32, Reply)