Beginners Guide To Buffet Bulimia
Cafe India, Glasgow, 1995. We arrived reasonably late and at that time you had 'sittings', and had to be out by a certain time, so we wasted no time in hitting the troughs...i made the mistake of taking too many and too much, the resulting slurry was thick and cloying. The pieces of chicken where more like whole breasts and what with my eyes being bigger than my belly i figured i could easily deal with it.

It was then, onto my second plate, that a see the sign stating that if you left too much stuff on your plate they would charge you extra. So, despite being stuffed to the gunnells, i proceeded to jam far more than was safe down into my piehole. I done the toddlers trick of hiding bits of food under stuff and was fairly satisfied that my greed would go unnoticed. It was around about then that i started to get the curry sweats.

I went a bit white and struggled to stand up, as we were paying the chap asked if it was our first time at the buffet, i grimly nodded, even the very thought of food was making me bolk. We hit the fresh air and staggered towards the car, no sooner had i sat down and attempted to stretch the seatbelt around my distended gut that I had to fling the door open and vomit profusely. The thick, rich, homogenised effluence defied gravity as it stayed stable on the slope. It reminded me of dog vomit.

I know felt fantastic, no more gravid filth, no more stodgy guilt, i was free. My wife ahdn't had the benfit of vomiting, and although she never ate as much as I did, she had the benefit of seeing, hearing and probably smelling my buffet as it escaped.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 15:21, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

Who the hell asked you?
...Oh, wait, you did
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 15:24, Reply)

my wife
came home one day and was horrified to see me chomping down on the last splinters of polished wood that was once her prized clarinet.

I merely looked up and said i fancied a Buffet.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 15:30, Reply)

I don't get it

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 15:36, Reply)

glad I'm not the only one
let's hold each other
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 15:39, Reply)

Close?
Whisper to me, whisper in my ear, tell me that you love me
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 15:40, Reply)

here ye go
www.buffet-crampon.com/
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 15:39, Reply)

Oh, you hilarious git

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 15:40, Reply)