Buffets
A nice, inexpensive way to experiment with various dishes or a trough based pig out for fat cunts everywhere?

I went for a chinese one last week and a family with a 5/6 year old son came in and sat beside us...the only item that the wee boy got, or was given, was prawn crackers, a big fucking plateful of them...and he ate them all, and then went up for more.

Tell us about your buffet based experiences.....
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 14:49, 24 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

once
I was out and about, and this buffet (and this will sound far-fetched)well, it slayed some vampires.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 14:51, Reply)

arf

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 14:52, Reply)

*ding ding*
every one a winner....treat yourself to as much MSG as you like
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 14:53, Reply)

I can't, it makes me twitch

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 14:54, Reply)

I once saw Bert Monkeysex
and he looked well puffey.


Not my finest hour, I fear.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 15:00, Reply)

Poofey?
Or are you calling me fat?
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 15:09, Reply)

Poofy, dear boy, poofy
Puffy doesn't rhyme so well with buffet, I think.

For all I know you could be a fat poof, though. The two aren't mutually exclusive: look at that Matt Lucas.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 15:15, Reply)

I love his wobbly face on Shooting Stars

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 15:17, Reply)

I always put on a nice buffet when friends come round for food.
Gives me more time to get pissed.
( girlinthehole, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 15:00, Reply)

I went to a salad buffet last night
and got a huge bowl of those onion bits and smothered it with red devil sauce.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 15:05, Reply)

Beginners Guide To Buffet Bulimia
Cafe India, Glasgow, 1995. We arrived reasonably late and at that time you had 'sittings', and had to be out by a certain time, so we wasted no time in hitting the troughs...i made the mistake of taking too many and too much, the resulting slurry was thick and cloying. The pieces of chicken where more like whole breasts and what with my eyes being bigger than my belly i figured i could easily deal with it.

It was then, onto my second plate, that a see the sign stating that if you left too much stuff on your plate they would charge you extra. So, despite being stuffed to the gunnells, i proceeded to jam far more than was safe down into my piehole. I done the toddlers trick of hiding bits of food under stuff and was fairly satisfied that my greed would go unnoticed. It was around about then that i started to get the curry sweats.

I went a bit white and struggled to stand up, as we were paying the chap asked if it was our first time at the buffet, i grimly nodded, even the very thought of food was making me bolk. We hit the fresh air and staggered towards the car, no sooner had i sat down and attempted to stretch the seatbelt around my distended gut that I had to fling the door open and vomit profusely. The thick, rich, homogenised effluence defied gravity as it stayed stable on the slope. It reminded me of dog vomit.

I know felt fantastic, no more gravid filth, no more stodgy guilt, i was free. My wife ahdn't had the benfit of vomiting, and although she never ate as much as I did, she had the benefit of seeing, hearing and probably smelling my buffet as it escaped.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 15:21, Reply)

Who the hell asked you?
...Oh, wait, you did
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 15:24, Reply)

my wife
came home one day and was horrified to see me chomping down on the last splinters of polished wood that was once her prized clarinet.

I merely looked up and said i fancied a Buffet.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 15:30, Reply)

I don't get it

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 15:36, Reply)

glad I'm not the only one
let's hold each other
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 15:39, Reply)

Close?
Whisper to me, whisper in my ear, tell me that you love me
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 15:40, Reply)

here ye go
www.buffet-crampon.com/
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 15:39, Reply)

Oh, you hilarious git

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 15:40, Reply)

why has bert just deleted some posts?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 15:30, Reply)

Because he's a massive thread deleting twat.
He's worse than Edmund.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 15:31, Reply)

But is he off to the North Pole?
We need to know.

We've already seen his cock.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 15:49, Reply)

Dear chickenlady
HA! You fell for it
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 15:39, Reply)

I still believe that Monkeysex Cunty Act
is just that, an INTERNET LIE!
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 15:49, Reply)